The Importance Of A Family Counseling

I’ve learned many things throughout this class. It’s hard to pick just three things that have had an impact on me, however I chose to go with the three things that will help me in the future as a family counselor. The first and arguably most important is how to listen correctly, the second is how to approach someone without making them become defensive. And the third is learning how to become a better empathetic listener. Each of these lessons will help me in my future goals.

I’ve always thought I was a great listener, however upon reading the online lesson and reading Floyd’s book I quickly realized I wasn’t as great as I thought. Ralph G. Nichols states that listening doesn’t mean agreement, which I admit I’ve been guilty of close-mindedness,

However we all know that when someone tries to tell us we’re doing something wrong, we can become defensive. Defensiveness, “… is a feeling of excessive concern with guarding oneself against the threat of criticism or attacks to one’s ego.” (Floyd 340) Being defensive is a sign of a negative communication climate, which we want to avoid in a communicative environment such as marriage counseling. Jack Gibb outlined six types of messages that promote defensiveness, and six that promote supportiveness. I’ve provided the ones that I feel will help me the most in my future endeavors. Evaluation versus description, “evaluation expresses an opinion on the value or worth of another person’s behavior, and descriptive provide detail about the person’s behaviors without passing judgment.” Control versus problem orientation, “Control messages manipulate others into acting a specific way, problem oriented encourage collaboration and creative thinking.” Neutrality versus empathy, “Neutral statements imply lack of concern, empathetic convey concern for what others are feeling and experiencing.” Certainty versus provisionalism, “Certainty offers inflexible conclusions with no room for debate, provisional offers flexible ideas, in the hope of generating dialogue.” (Floyd