I Am A Week Ago Essay

I Am A Week Ago Essay

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A week ago I considered giving up again. With all the hours I poured into my last essay, it felt like a slap in the face that they didn’t even send a “thank you trying” letter. I spent Saturday on my in-law’s porch sipping coffee and Baileys while stewing over my 14th contest loss. Lacking in ideas of where I went wrong, I tried imitating old photos of authors again. I leaned over the arm of the wicker chair, chin resting on curled fingers, and holding my pen like a cigarette, hoping to channel the inventiveness of Orwell or Fleming.
I started entering in scholarship contests in March with the belief that if I wrote enough essays, statistically I should win something. Two authors, Kristina Ellis and Marianna Ragins, won $500,000 and $400,000 in scholarships while they were still in high school. Their books are the reason I decided to try writing as a way to pay for college, and I now find myself considering it as a viable career. While I often consider giving up this project for a second job, I can’t bring myself to do it; I’m enjoying the challenges more than I hate the losing.
           I have no delusion to believe I could win $400,000 in scholarships, but it lifts my spirits knowing it can be done. I didn’t find Kristina Ellis’s Confessions of a Scholarship Winner or Marianne Ragin’s Winning Scholarships for College to be exceptionally helpful for writing, but as an average student, I found their similar backgrounds encouraging. Neither was a top athlete or elite test taker, just average students who were very dedicated to the scholarship hunt.
Admittedly, I was over excited planning this project and did not consider how far behind I was in my writing abilities. Both ladies were high schoolers, so the writing process wou...


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...emistry through writing. Having worked so many various jobs in different shifts, being to write on my own schedule about the topics I love is a freeing thought, despite how difficult the work would be.
Since my start in March, I have only invested a solid 5 months into writing when others have done this for years. Perhaps, it is premature to already consider this as a career prospect, but there are brilliant writers out there that have made nerd and super fans of us all. I may not win a scholarship even in the next year, but imagining that kind of power in writing is cool.
I can’t say for certain where I will be in four years, or if I will still have the same excitement for writing then that I have now. I do undoubtedly believe that continuing on with the writing process, no matter how rage inducing it can be, is going to help me out in ways I never expected it to.

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