How to Successfully Skip a Day of School

How to Successfully Skip a Day of School

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Every kid in high school is always trying to think of new ways to skip class. This is where I come into play. I missed forty-two days of high school my senior year and didn't get caught once. If executed correctly, almost anyone can pull this off. I've been told many times that Ferris Bueller didn't have anything on me. Maybe one day I'll get my own movie.
I was not a fan of class in high school, and it was well known. I was what most would call the class clown and tended to stay in trouble. If I wasn?t skipping school I was usually suspended. So when I was there, I had to be prepared for anything and everything thrown my way. Missing so many days I had to be an expert at forging doctor?s notes. But for one day you will only need one forged note from your parents.
All materials needed to pull this off can be found around the house. The most important thing needed to pull this off is a functioning brain. Some other materials you may need are soup, Kleenex, and ibuprofen. All these materials will be vital to your success.
To successfully skip a day of school requires two very important things, practice and execution. To begin, this cannot be a spur of the moment thing, it must be thought out and practiced. Don?t come out right away and say you do not feel well. Act so sick your parents have to ask if you are feeling well. The best thing to tell them is that you have a terrible headache and can?t see straight. This cannot be proven wrong.
The next morning, stay in bed until they come tell you that you are going to be late. This is when you tell them you are so sick you can?t make it to class. When they finally depart for work stay put for at least an hour. People have been known to get caught because they are too anxious. Patience is a virtue. When you go to shower, take a minute to look around and memorize where everything is, then when you are finished put everything back the way it was before you got in.
Now leaving the house is the tough part. Be very cautious of noisy neighbors.

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This next step is very important to your success. Do NOT go anywhere your parents are frequent visitors of. I made this mistake before I was an experienced veteran. Thought it would be a great idea to take my girlfriend out to eat at Toot?s. Forgetting it was my mother?s favorite restaurant. If you happen to run in to them try to get away before you have been seen. If you happen to get caught, lie like a dog. Be prepared for this, have an in-depth lie thought out. Be creative and original when you lie, by doing so it seems more believable.
Finally, when returning to the house, put the car back in the exact same place. Hang up the clothes you wore out and put back on the same clothes you had on this morning. Make a bowl of soup and leave it half full next to your bed along with some Kleenex and ibuprofen. About the time your parents should be returning, turn off your lights and act as if you are sleeping.
If these steps are followed correctly and executed flawlessly you should have successfully skipped a day of school. This is not for everyone. If you cannot lie to your parents do not even attempt this. But for the rest of you cold-hearted people like myself, best of luck to you.
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