A Brief Note On Grief Grief

For many, there is a profoundly incomprehensible facet to the death of a loved one. Grief can provoke deep shock, derange all sense of meaning, unravel vital self-concepts and shatter close held ideals about existence (Berzoff, 2006, p. 125). Sentiments regarding the unfathomable aspect of bereavement are a prominent feature in many grief memoirs. When faced with the death of a loved one, the grieving mind of the bereaved inherently rejects the harsh reality, the utter intangibility of loss, and vast nothingness of the void left behind. During the period of grief, it can be exceedingly difficult to process the finality of life lost. Following the loss of her husband, mere months after their marriage, memoirist Lloyd writes: “we were just beginning

As Cook claims “the grieving have an unprecedented need to record” (2011) their experience. Grieving memoirist Baker reflects that he “kept a diary and took notes, not because I planned to write a book, but to record everything that was happening so I could always retain it" (as cited in Cosic, 2017, para. 31). Baker’s need was to document his experience in order to keep hold of something intangible. It may be that the frenetic drive to journal and document grief is propelled by a desire to strengthen or revive bonds to the dead. Silverman vies that continuing bonds remain between the bereaved and their beloved deceased (as cited in Berzoff, 2006, p. 125). The act of writing and creating a narrative is an act of preservation that gives the writer an avenue for pursuing an ongoing relationship with the dead. As Walter explains, “the purpose of grief is… the construction of a durable biography that enables the living to integrate the memory of the dead into their ongoing lives” (1996, p. 7). Throughout the research there is a consistent argument to be found, that victims of grief must reconstruct their personal identity in response to the disequilibrium caused by loss and the subsequent crisis of belief and

21). According to his theory, overcoming grief and trauma incite a subconscious ‘compulsion to repeat’ (as cited in Geiger, 2012, p. 21). Furthermore, Freud attests that the process of grieving necessitates the mourner relive the memories and attachment they have in relation to the deceased before they can reconnect with the world as they knew it (as cited in Brennan, 2012, para. 98). Considering this, journaling or any form of writing about grief, such as memoirs, can be seen as the writer actively working to process and accommodate unfathomable loss. Likewise, Robertson interprets the memoirs of loss she studied in her research of the topic, as a transformative process of manifesting the narrators reconfigured identity (2013, p.