Gender Roles In Virginia Woolf's To The Lighthouse

One of the most talked about issues in today 's society is the importance of understanding feminism and debunking gender roles. These topics, which have changed and revolutionized tremendously since 1927, play a large role in Virginia Woolf’s To The Lighthouse. Woolf explores forced gender conventions and expectations, shown through the characters of Mrs. Ramsay and Lily Briscoe, that lead to harmful stereotypes and internalized misogyny and how they effect relationship dynamics. One of the most vital characters in Woolf’s To The Lighthouse is a walking stereotype. Mrs. Ramsay, the hostess who welcomes many people into her summer home, is the typical feminine character who affirms every traditional gender role. She conforms, intentionally,

Ramsay, Lily Briscoe is a free-spirited painter who represents the other side of the feminist argument. A character that closely reflects Woolf’s own worldview, Lily cannot come to comprehend why women are treated with ignominy and attempts to challenge the misogynistic standard around her. Although she fiercely admires Mrs. Ramsay, Lily rejects the digressive ways that she thinks: “She took shelter from the reverence that covered all women; she felt herself praised” (46), she wants to be able to feel empowered and important without being grouped together with other women in a negative context. Because Lily wants to be treated as an individual with her own goals and opinions and the opportunity to live them out, she finds herself conflicted when she sees how other women accept the gender conventions because she wants to fit in, but does not want to conform. However, she dismisses her doubts because she is able to explain to herself that she does not need to heed to societal pressure. She admonishes the prospect of getting married, for “at any rate, [...] she need not marry, thank Heaven: she need not undergo that degradation. She was saved from that dilution” (98), blatantly refusing to accept her fate as Mrs. Ramsay sees it, as she believes there is more to life than getting married and living for someone else. Lily also mocks the expectation that women must comfort men, finding it cringeworthy and a ridiculous standard:

Ramsay and Lily Briscoe’s experiences with gender norms and preconceived standards of womanhood as a commentary. Mrs. Ramsay lives a sheltered, calm life in a conscious attempt to not rattle society as she knows it. Lily Briscoe lives life feeling her emotions through artistic expression in a conscious attempt to disrupt the repetitive flow of her life and find the meaning of her existence. And because these two women live their lives so differently, their relationships with others, especially men, are executed in radically different ways. As aforementioned, Mrs. Ramsay’s relationship with her husband is fairly unhealthy, as they just view each other as ways to get to the desired result of living an outwardly impressive life. Their relationship becomes so stifled over the years that they are walking on thin ice around each other; they worry only about maintaining an enviable marriage for the viewing pleasure of others, rather than a healthy partnership. Mrs. Ramsay internalizes Mr. Ramsay’s opinions to the point where she “stopped herself, remembering how it angered her husband that she should say that” (56), almost hypnotizing herself into thinking, acting and perceiving as her husband would. In their relationship, they are not equals, rather there is a clear distinction between who is the leader and who is the follower as Mr. Ramsay consistently undermines his wife, forcing his