Zombie Talk Show

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A small town girl looking for a prom date falls for a charming zombie.

BRIEF SYNOPSIS
SUGAR WILLOWICK (16) is looking for a date for her high school prom. She isn’t having much luck until she rescues a young man from thugs. There’s just one problem: he’s a zombie. Unable to speak, Sugar calls him “Za” and takes him home to her mother and grandmother. Her mother, Lorraine, wants nothing to do with a zombie, but finally agrees to let him stay.
Sugar decides to find out his true identity and elicits the help of her friend BELINDA. Sugar isn’t able to find out any information. Sugar and Za grow closer. She’s determined to take him to the prom, but everyone shuns him and has trouble accepting him.
Regardless, Sugar invites Za to the prom and …show more content…

The premise for this series is very appealing. The idea of a girl falling for a zombie definitely has potential. There’s a strong, faithful audience, who loves zombies.
The show also conveys a solid emotional premise and theme about tolerance and acceptance.
The show offers a quirky protagonist in Sugar. She also has an offbeat family, which adds to the charm of this show. There are some smart story choices, such as the idea of the prom.
While there’s a lot to like about the proposed pilot, and while it merits consideration, there are certainly areas to re-examine.
First, the opening nicely sets the tone. The problem of the week for Sugar is finding a date to the prom. There’s a solid inciting event when she finds Za. The rest of the show is driven by her desire to find out about him and the idea of going to the prom.
The main concern is Za. It’s very challenging to visualize him, especially when he’s first revealed. On screen that should not be an issue, but on the page it’s problematic. When Sugar first finds him, she mentions the word zombie. However, the visual of him isn’t strong enough for the reading audience to understand if she’s kidding or not. He’s not clearly described like a …show more content…

Lorraine says, “Za” like pizza, which seems a bit contrived or forced, vs. funny.
The best humor is organic from character, in which their character flaws are exaggerated. Also, normally the comedic tension spirals out of control. In the current pilot, that doesn’t seem to happen. There’s really no tension or stakes. Try to find a way to spiral the comedic tension out of control. For example, maybe they find someone related to Za, but there’s some twist, or maybe Sugar and Belinda have to raise money to get their dresses for the prom, they somehow use Za, and then at the end, Sugar ends up making her own outfit. This gives the story more anticipation, tension, and focus. Each act should end on high tension.
As mentioned, Sugar is a fun character. She’s original and offbeat. It’s easy to like her. Her role could attract talent. She has abandonment issues, but she seems to love unconditionally. The idea of being abandoned sets up some future episodes to explore this.
Za, as stated, just isn’t as animated as he should be for the audience.
Lorraine is colorful and she has a very unique voice, “Like a summertime pop song.” She shares nice chemistry with Sugar and their relationship feels special and unique. She makes for a delightful comedic

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