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‘I’ am an in-between-er. ‘I’ is first person. ‘I’ is personal. An in-between-er exchanges two contrasting principles and exists in two contrasting aspects. As I have lived equally amount of time in China and Australia, I fond myself questioning the means of ‘being’ which the Chinese 5,000 year heritage I brought with me constantly contradicting my Australian twenty-first century living. Regardless, I live mutually dependent on my Chinese tradition and modern western civilisations. I will not exist without either cultural element.

The contrast between my background and my present condition clarifies my investigation to my question. Frequently, I feel entangled, trapped. If I make a move, I feel two forces pulling me to opposite directions. Twenty years ago, when I just settled in Sydney, if anyone asked me where I was come from, ‘I’m from Beijing, China.’ I answered straight back, no blink. Twenty years later, same question: ‘where are you from?’ I inescapable take a pause, then, either to answer: ‘from home, St Ives.’ Or to clarify the question before answering it: ‘do you mean where I was originally from?’ If I intent to stay where I am, which, unmistakably, I feel I am collapsing and dissolving. Same question asked in recent years: ‘where are you from?’ I cannot answer: ‘I’m from Beijing, China.’, because it is not the truth anymore. Although, if I visit China, Chinese people ask me if I am Australian, my short answer would be: ‘still Chinese.’ I have to deny that I am 100% Australian because I do not consider I fit in that category even I am Australian by law. The way I have been blended changed me neither an Australian nor a Chinese. I am a mere in-between-er. How do I avoid the conflicts and contradictions of being a Chine...

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...tity with a palm size narrative picture. No human being is no indifferent to the misplacement of belonging, inside or outside, or in-between. ‘Make the most of yourself, for that is all there is of you.’

Emerson said: ‘What lies behind you and what lies in front of you, pales in comparison to what lies inside of you.’ Mankinds investigate all the possibilities to solve the biggest problem, namely life and death. The argument stays on whether east or west has the key to the unknown. Western scientists may breakthrough substance to expand life, eastern living philosophy unfold metaphysic and consciousness to expand life. Meeting west and east, yin-yang combined contrasting functions under the law of nature will evoke the globalisation.

At this note, the notion of my paper, although ‘I’ is first person, ‘I’ is not personal. Every viewer is framed in this “I”.

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