Xander Monologue

“Yes…yes, of course I understand…thank you for calling, of course, I’ll contact you there until I hear from you further.” Giles re-receiver-ed his phone and removed his glasses; tried to unfurrow his brow…without success.

“Uh oh, Giles. You have bad news face. Who was that?” A red headed Wicca waited expectantly on Giles’ couch. His bad news face was never good. Probably an apocalypse. Probably a message from England. Maybe both, yikes.

“It seems…there’s been an accident..that was Buffy. She’s at the hospital with Spike-” Giles started. But Xander was already out of his seat on the couch.

“That undead bastard, I knew he’d hurt her again, vampire or no I’m-” Giles held his hand up to stop the boy because really this monologue was tired and frankly unnecessary. For today, anyway.

“Xander. We all know how you feel about Spike and Buffy’s…relationship…she’s at

He’d been William the Bloody, ravaging Europe for it’s blood and spoils! Now he was William the bruised and bloody….from a dance move gone wrong. Not that it was his fault. He’d nailed the jump he knew, Buffy almost nailed catching him…until the bloody wall caught him instead.

“Hey now, that’s hardly fair. We’ve thrown eachother into walls plenty of times without it being a real issue…this time it was just an accident. I am sorry though, baby. Bajillion and one. Next time you can lift me, I promise.” The blonde placed a tiny peck of a kiss on the vampire’s cheek and saw his resolve…dissolve.

“Time of my bloody life, yeah, right.” He lit his cigarette for dramatic flair, but really he was already sated. The waves of his headache were withdrawing, he was getting apologies and tiny Slayer kisses. Worth a little head trauma, and he got to pout a little. As long as he took this story to his undead grave he’d laugh about it