Who Is The Hardest Thing I?

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Lydia, what I 'm about to say to you might be the hardest thing I 've ever had to tell anyone. I am really bad with sharing my feelings with people, so I understand how I can come across as blunt or crass. I never know how to truly express my feelings with you, and this hurts how I can 't have a normal conversation with my best friend in the whole world. I just hope you understand how I feel: I know I 've been acting like a jerk and a dick and all other terms to define someone who is mean, but I 've been trying like crazy to fix things between us. I miss you like crazy, every second of every hour we don 't talk is complete agony to me. Seriously, I haven 't slept or eaten properly this semester because of how much this bothers me. I honestly don 't think I could bear to go on with life if you weren 't a part of mine, even solely as a friend. I know I 've screwed up and I cannot hate myself more for it. You are the single most important person in my life. I know that sounds weird, but I absolutely mean it! You are so, so, SOOOO important in my life, and your friendship means the world to me. I know I can be condescending and a jerk a lot, and I just want to let you know that I am so socially awkward to the point that I am afraid of hurting the people I love. I know you said you don 't love me the way I did with you, and I am perfectly fine with that. But to me, a life without you in it is a life not worth living at all. I would sacrifice a lot of things in this lifetime just to remain friends with you, I want you to know this. I feel the need to come clean with you about some things. The reason my attitudes have been of jealousy as of recent is primarily because I 'm afraid I will hurt and lose you, which will result in you hating... ... middle of paper ... ...uld never not want to be your friend. I would go to the ends of the earth just to make sure you are still my friend, no matter the cost. If it makes you feel any better, and i 'm not sure it will, but if I was in the White House (and this doesn 't mean I would be more qualified than someone like you, I 'm just creating a hypothetical situation) and had to appoint any person as my President, Chief of Staff, or Secretary of State, hands down it would be you (there 's just no contest). You 're the Barack Obama to my Joe Biden. A strong, cool, intelligent leader that everyone wants to be. I 'm just the vice president every one will most likely forget about, but one thing is clear: I believe we work well together and, to me, we are the best of friends. I wouldn 't want it to have it any other way! I truly wish you a Happy Birthday! From your friend, Jordan Stine

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