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Analysis of what we're talking about when we talk about love
Essays on the short story what we talk about when we talk about love
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What We Talk About When We Talk About Love
After analyzing Raymond Carver’s “What We Talk About When We Talk About Love,” it is easy to see that there are several different ideas concerning true love that the characters in the story are in dispute over. Terri’s idea of real love is the most valid out of the group at the table. All of the members of the group are rather confused as to what real love is. Terri is included as one of the confused. However, I believe that she is the closest to understanding what love is. A key piece of evidence demonstrating her understanding of love is her remark to Laura and Nick. She scolds the couple for basing their relationship on physical aspects, rather than emotion or passion. Terri, like the rest of the party, is on her second marriage. Her first husband was an abusive man that beat her, and even dragged her by her ankles around their living room. Terri’s current husband, Mel, is a cardiologist that believes in spiritual love, and that between spouses, people are barren and hollow inside, and that he could be married to any other empty person without difference. Mel is rather shielded from emotion between spouses. His only real love lies with his children, unfortunately Mel allows his conflict with his ex wife to block him from calling his them. Terri does love Mel, but she reminisces about her time with Ed. Terri realizes that Ed was full of emotion, and that he was just befuddled and chaotic in his methods of sharing his feelings....
The short story is about two couples drinking and arguing about what love truly is. One of the couples, Terri and Mel, argue about Terri’s ex, Ed. Mel does not think that Terri’s ex truly loved her, but she does. For example, Mel said, “My God, don’t be silly. That’s not love, and you know it,” (412) in response to Terri saying that Ed loved her very much. Mel believes he did not love her because he threatened to kill her and later killed himself when she left him. Terri believes he truly did love her for that exact same
Jean Thompson’s short story, All Shall Love Me and Despair shows that proves that the feeling of love makes people compromise even if it can be harmful to themselves. When one finds them self constantly questioning every action they do when around a specific person, they may want to reconsider their relationship with that person. I believe this because one should be able to be comfortable, and them self, especially around those that they love. Annie and Scout are a couple who loves each other, but Annie second guesses most of her actions around Scout.
His feelings of animosity and venomous hatred for his ex-wife are in direct conflict with his original self- evaluation of both being capable of understanding, and engaging in that enigma known as true love. Mel is, in many cases, the Ed to his ex-wife. Whereas Ed engaged in the violent act of dragging Terri throughout the apartment by her ankles, Mel describes, with almost childlike delight, how he has fantasized about playing the starring role in her murder. Mel does not seem like the type of man who would commit such a deed. He does, however, consider how good it would feel to seek revenge against Marjorie in retaliation for her “crimes” against his heart. Therefore, rather than fondly reminiscing, or even grieving at the lost love between him and his ex-wife, he instead resorts to anger and resentment, neither of which is characteristic of the type of “love” he so dogmatically professes to
Terri, in particular, has a unique perspective on love. This is exemplified in the beginning of the story, when Terri is introduced: “Terri said the main she lived with before she lived with Mel loved her so much he tried to kill her,” (Carver 170). Terri’s dominant impression is that she is an easily influenced and manipulated character that is the most convinced and clear about her definition of love, especially when it comes to her relationship with Ed. Time and time again, she asserts to Mel that Ed’s love for her was genuine: “‘It may sound crazy to you, but it’s true just the same.
The first discussion is about Terri's ex husband, Ed. Ed is the guy she was with before Mel McGinnis. It is a sad story. She says, that night Ed beat her, he told her, "I love you, I love you, you bitch" while he pulled her around the room. Terri considers that what Ed felt for her was love. And then Terri continues with her story. He stalks Mel and Terri, at that time Mel was divorcing his ex wife and living together with Terri. It’s a really complicated situation. Ed gains knowledge of the true and kills himself with rat poison, but it doesn’t work well at first, finally he kills himself by shooting himself in his mouth. She feels scared during this time, however, she still thinks Ed loves her because he died for love. On the contrary, Mel points out that there is no relationship between love and killing himself and nobody know why he kills himself. The story of Ed is ends and the conversation move on to Laura and Nick’s story. They think they know what love is. Terri tells them to stop the sappy newlywed love, since the honeymoon is going to be over soon.
Terri, Mel's wife, was once married to an abusive man, who '...went on dragging me (Terri) around the living room. My head kept knocking on things.... What do you do with love like that?.... People are different, Mel. Sure, sometimes he may have acted crazy. Okay. But he loved me. In his own way maybe, but he loved me.'; (pp 110-111) To the reader, it seems hard to believe that there could be love in a relationship where one partner physically abuses the other. However, in Terri's case, both Terri and her ex-husband felt that they were in love. This coincides with the author's theme that early on in a r...
“The fact that Carol was not in love with Howard Mitchell did not dismay her in the least.” Love is wholly unimportant to Carol, as far as choosing a husband goes. Through college lectures, blaring the materialistic expectations surrounding marriage, Carol comes to not believe in the necessity of love in a successful marriage. Marriage, to Carol, exists in environment, to the point she believes the weather might affect it. “Love required only the right conditions, like a geranium.”
From his career as a cardiologist and his definition of love in the beginning of the story, Mel seems to be a very intelligent and educated person. However, as the story progresses, Mel, Terri, Nick and Laura got more and more drunk. The drunk they got, the more they seemed confused about what true love is. When Mel and his friend were drunk, Mel started to give examples of an old couple to support his definition of love, but at the end, he seemed confused, and he couldn’t clearly define what love is because he was drunk. Furthermore, Mel was talking about the old couple and how they were nearly close to death in car accident, and then he ended up depression. Mel talked about his first wife, and he mentioned “If I am not praying she’ll get married again I am praying she’ll get herself stung to death by swarm of fucking bees” (Carver 683). I think when Mel ...
Love is something not easily or even completely understood, it is an always too hard to but it 's only to look but not touch. But how far can temptation go before it turns into desire? In Zora Neale Hurston’s short story “The Gilded Six-Bits”, marriage and betrayal are something that is wired in the heart of many people. Marriage creates a bond within the institution of any relationship that can make it more emotionally connected to the spouse. Betrayal can tear the most delicate flower into dust; it violates any type of trust in the relationship. Hurston gives an example of three stages in a relationship which consist of Love, Admiration, Betrayal and Forgiveness in this story. The character Joe Banks love his wife Missie May, but her infidelity
This goes along with what I stated before on “What We Talk about When We Talk about Love” how we don’t know everyone’s complete background to why they would think love is to them. In Arthur M. Saltzman’s reading of “What We Talk about When We Talk about Love” suggests that “The saving grace of love is its elasticity” (1571). Something I also support since Mel and Terri have both been remarried, undergone hardships like divorce and tragedy. Proving that even though love is not everlasting it is elastic in the way that it is retainable. A.O. Scott’s criticism on “Looking for Raymond Carver” states on page 1576, how the narrator of “Cathedral” has an epiphany after drawing the cathedral for the blind man. The narrator stating “It was like nothing else in my life up to now”. I do agree with what Scott is saying since before in the beginning of the story the narrator didn’t like
Joshua Ackerman, Professor at MIT Sloan School of Management writes in the Scholarly Journal, Let’s Get Serious: Communicating Commitment in Romantic Relationships, published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, that some commonly thought notations about expressing or communicating love may be incorrect.
Love is the ultimate prize in life, the gift that I am most thankful for. The description of love is found in every smile, every pounding heart, and the sweet taste
Some people believe that there is no such thing as “true love” they believe that love is nothing but an illusion designed by social expectations. These people believe that love ultimately turns into pain and despair. This idea in some ways is true. Love is not eternal it will come to an end one way or another, but the aspect that separates true love from illusion, is the way love ends. “True Love” is much too powerful to be destroyed by Human imperfection; it may only be destroyed by a force equal to the power of love. Diotima believed that “Love is wanting to posses the good forever” In other words love is the desire to be immortal and the only way that we are able to obtain immortality is through reproduction, and since the act of reproduction is a form of sexual love, then sexual love is in fact a vital part of “True love”. Sexual love is not eternal. This lust for pleasure will soon fade, but the part of love that is immortal, is a plutonic love. You can relate this theory to the birth of love that Diotima talks about. She says that love was born by a mortal mother and immortal father. The mother represents the sexual love, the lust for pleasure. The father represents the plutonic love that is immortal. Plutonic love is defined as a true friendship, the purest of all relationships. A true plutonic love will never die; it transcends time, space, and even death.
What is love? Love is a very special and meaningful word to each human being. Each human being has his/her own thoughts about love to guide himself/herself to land safely and smoothly into the kingdom of Love. Without this preconceived idea of love, people would be acting like a blind person searching for the light with thousand of obstacles in front of him.
Poets and philosophers for centuries have been trying to answer the question, what is love? Love has an infinite number of definitions, which vary from one person to another. Love cannot be measured by any physical means. One may never know what true love is until love it- self has been experienced. What is love? A four letter word that causes a person to behave in a way that is out of character. What is love? A first kiss, childhood crushes on a teacher or friend’s mom. What is love? A choice that people make by putting their partner’s wishes, desires and needs above everything else. What is love? The act of forgiveness, the infatuation with someone, the communication between two people. What is love? A friendship that turned into a lifelong commitment, that special someone who has vowed to spend the rest of their lives to honor and protect, to love each other “till death do you part.” When in love nothing else in the world matters. According to the online Encarta Dictionary love is the passionate feeling of romantic and sexual desire and longing for somebody. Poets and philosophers may never know what love really is, and we may never truly understand the question what is love.