I am the type of person that doesn’t go out very often, because I stay so busy with school and by the end of the day I’m usually too tired. I was out having a good time with the girls, when he called and asked where I was. I told him I was at Riley’s with some friends; I could tell by the sound of his voice he wasn’t happy with the situation. His behavior became aggressive, and because I had been drinking I became defensive. Some of the friends I went out with that night he seems not to get along with and feels that they have a negative influence on me.
I felt like I was not wanted by anybody, especially at school. I did have suicidal thoughts, but in middle school I actually tried to take my own life. Now, it was not that my plan did not work. I just found myself not being able to do everything that I had planned so that I would not be alive anymore. I felt like God was telling me that I could not end my life and He was not done with me yet, so I was not able to finish my task.
Sometimes I wonder what life would be like to just tell people what I really think of them, instead of staying silent because I’m afraid of what they’ll think. Sometimes I wonder who I’d be if I weren’t afraid of being something other than a wife and mother. I do what is expected of me because I fear what people will think of me. Although, I know that they can not do anything to me. I do not want them to see me on the street and whisper about something they think I’ve done wrong.
The lack of trust prevents me from truly getting to know someone. This is because I feel the less they know about me and the less I know about them the better. For this reason, I tend to stay away from people because I feel if they began to open up to me and tell me story’s about their life and personal information. They are going to want me to open up and tell them personal things about myself and my past. Depending on the person I may not be ready to have that type of conversation with them about myself.
I had a few friends including my roommate and I was okay with that. I struggled with finding my identity and self-concept, I valued other people’s opinions over my own. I allowed others to think and make decision for me and not myself, this mentality made me a follower and not a leader. I was also much of an observer rather than a talker which caused me to have fundamental attribution errors of situations. I continued to keep everything to myself until the situation got worse or got to me.
For some reason, once I got to high school, I stopped caring about being organized and my motivation dropped the second I walked through those doors. Even as a freshman, I found it hard to concentrate in certain classes because I did not want to be there. I got my first C my freshman year to ruin any chance of a 4.0 GPA. My sophomore year, I missed a lot of school due to an ACL, injury and it was hard to come back and catch up on all my work. On the bright side, sophomore year 's homework wasn 't as vigorous as senior year.
“Clap along if you feel like happiness is the truth,” (Williams), happiness is true to me, it has brought me many incredible memories into my life and got me through some very rough times, I believe happiness is the truth. Nothing will sink me down no matter what people say or think, “Can’t nothing bring me down,” (Williams). I will not let anyone or anything interfere with my happiness, I will not back down from a challenge, “Well, give me all you got, don’t hold it back,” (Williams verse 2). Happiness is what keeps me going, it’s what makes me the person I am today and it lies within me, “Happiness is everything,” (Steere).
Although I was not homeless I lived in a home with no lights for a whole semester of school. Sometimes I did not have the coolest new gear and name brand clothes, and was bullied for a period in my life. So even through my life story may not have been as severe of a story as some of the families but I could relate because I know what it means to go without. Also I know that as a child because all you know is the other kids have it and you do not. I just know that though your issues are hard it will defiantly get better.
This provides a significant source of conflict in the relationship as I am extremely introverted. I want to spend time with my significant other. I really don’t want to be out doing the things that she wants to do. When I do go out with her I find myself not engaging in conversation, and because I don’t have a smart phone to bury my nose in it can become noticeably awkward. When we stay at home, I find her “reaching out” to others via
Hence, I am not good at all at solving problems in group. I’m a pretty good listener, I can understand different opinions of group members but within a loud group, my brain cannot think thoroughly to determine which the best option is. Therefore, whenever I do not understand the lesson in class, I will have to spend sometimes rereading the materials myself. Nevertheless, as the result of staying focus, I make sure that I comprehend the lessons better and remember them longer. In summary, it is hard for me to write and I do not write a lot.