Western Culture and Customs Destroyed the Vietnamese Family Structure

As soon as families come to the U.S., both parents have to go out looking for jobs to support their family. At the same time, the children spend most of their time at school or with friends. The family has very little time to be together after work and school, in order to discuss family problems or schoolwork. The family no longer consults, advises, encourages, or consoles. As a result, the family bond gradually dissolves. Since the children spend more time outside of the family than with their family, it is natural that they become Americanized quickly. Although Vietnamese parents always try their best to stop their children from becoming Americanized and to maintain their culture as much as possible, it is nearly impossible to do so.

By the time the children grow up, they are affected by the new lifestyle in this modern society, and are influenced in the name of "equality, freedom, and independence." They do not think of the family as an important part of their life anymore. Their parents are just their friends and, as friends, have no more authority over them. If children make mistakes, parents cannot punish them. Moreover, by law, parents cannot strike or hit them. The children's minds are always absorbed with the thoughts expressed by Jade Snow Wong:

Today, we recognized that children are individuals and that parents can no longer demand their unquestioning obedience. Parents should do their best to understand their children, because young people also have their rights.

In addition, the school system does not have much authority to discipline the students. The students are not taught how to follow their elders or how to respect or obey parents. Instead, they are trained to become technicians, specialists, scientists, lawyers, etc. They are rarely taught morals or community values.

Family structure is the only source to stop the children from becoming assimilated and acculturated. Parents expect children to maintain the original culture and traditional customs, in order to maintain their identities. Taking advantage of the little time to be together in the evening, or at night, Vietnamese parents try to motivate and sometimes to discipline their children, but the more they discipline, the more they face, because the law in this country does not permit parents to physically hurt their children.

As I see it, in America, the family structure seems to be unimportant. Discipline in the American family does not seem to be strict because the meaning of the term "everyone is equal" influences American families.