Wedding Speech Delivered by the Groom

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Wedding Speech Delivered by the Groom

I’d like to start by thanking Alan for his kind words and also to thank him on behalf of everyone for footing the bill for today’s festivities………

Having had a wonderful spread and knowing what we have to look forward to tonight, I now understand why he had the heating turned off all last winter!

I was going to begin with ladies and gentlemen

but on looking around I'm glad I didn't. So here goes.

Distinguished guests, those of lesser distinction, and those of no distinction at all……

Family, relatives, (new and old), in-laws and outlaws, friends, friends of friends, and freeloaders

Welcome to our wedding reception.

I would particularly like to extend a warm welcome to all our guests from Mississippi and Kentucky……

Welcome to the wonderful state of California, and for those of you who want to put your watches forward, it’s now 2005…..!!

I’ll never forget the first time Peggy took me to meet her parents. There was me trembling at the knees and there was Alan sitting in his white satin robe and fluffy slippers……

I thought, “I need to break the ice here”, so I asked him what football team he supports. Of course he replied State University, so I said “it must be exciting when you win a match.

“ Don’t Know” he said, I’ve only supported them for 40 years”……

Seriously though…..

The bible tells us, ‘Who so-ever finds a wife, finds a good thing’.

...

... middle of paper ...

...ure life together. These are taken from the book “The differences between man and wife”:

Learn to work the toilet seat. If it's up, put it down. We need it up - you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

We don't remember dates. Mark birthdays and anniversaries on a calendar and remind us frequently beforehand

BEER is as exciting for us as handbags are for you

ALL men see in only 6 colours. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a colour.

Lastly and most importantly……..

Christopher Columbus didn’t need directions, and neither do we.

And with that I'd ask you to charge your glasses and be upstanding for a toast to the bridesmaids.

I give you the bridesmaids

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