In, How to Win Friends and Influence People, Dale Carnegie describes the fundamental techniques of how to handle people, six ways to make people like you, how to win people to your way of thinking, and how to change people without giving offense or arousing resentment.
In the first part of this book, Carnegie describes one of the most useful strategies, “Don’t criticize, condemn or complain.” “Don’t criticize them; they are just what we would have be under similar circumstances,” as President Abraham Lincoln said to Ms. Lincoln and others when they spoke horrors of the southern citizens after General Meade refused to attack in the Battle of Gettysburg. Even when Lincoln was enraged because General Meade denied to attack, he reserved his comments. Instead he wrote a letter addressed to the general but, never mailed it. Like F. Scott Fitzgerald wrote in the novel, The Great Gatsby, “Whenever you feel like criticizing anyone… just remember that all the people in this world haven’t had the advantages that you've had.” It is important not to complain because what one person has, another may desire. There are people that complain because they did not get the latest trending phone, while a young kid in Mexico is thrilled for finding a can that he can imagine is a soccer ball. Good or bad, people should be pleased with what they have and make the best of it
The greatest gift that a person could ever receive is a smile. “Everybody in the world is seeking happiness… Happiness doesn’t depend on outward conditions. It depends on inner conditions.” Some say that a smile is a window to your soul, and the reality is a smile can change your mood even if you fake one. Like the psychologist and philosopher William James says, “Action seems to follow feeling, but really action and feeling go together.” Even when there are struggles a smile can change your mood and reduce the pain. Like Carnegie implies, “You must have a good time meeting people if you expect them to have a good time meeting you.” This is very important because you can not expect people to happy around you when you sit with a frown in your face. A smile is a wonderful gift because it cost nothing and brightens anybodies day.
Another impressive strategy that Dale Carnegie explains is, “Be a good listener, encourage others to talk about themselves.
Andrew Carnegie, the “King of Steel”, the benevolent employer, the giant of industry, was among the greatest influences of the second industrial revolution. It is sometimes questioned whether Carnegie was the ruthless, sneaky steel tyrant some made him out to be, or the generous, benevolent education benefactor he appeared to be. I believe him to be a combination of both, but more so the great giant of industry.
Andrew Carnegie did not display heroic qualities because he was a dishonest man who had no concern for others seeing as he done his competitors dirty and treated his workers terribly. “Carnegie sent out a circular (notice)
He does so by belittling non-capitalistic societies such as Native American societies and former United States industrialists, and deeming their ideologies antiquated. Since at this time period, Native Americans were considered to be an inferior race, it was appropriate for Carnegie to use them as an example of what they Americans should not become. He tells of how Native Americans are today where they were then, and how just now Native Americans are under economic systems in which the rich and poor share similar lifestyles. Extrapolating further, he tells of his observations upon visiting an Indian village. “The contrast between the palace of the millionaire and the cottage of the laborer with us to-day measures the change which had come with civilization” He describes how the cottages of the Native American leaders were in no better location nor ornamented any differently than those of the poor in the Indian
Carnegie ends his essay by saying that to follow his plan regarding wealth would someday solve the problem gap between the rich and poor, and bring “Peace on earth, among men Good-Will” (495). I plan to show my concerns and beliefs for and against his ideas.
At the same time that Carnegie was learning about the pains of poverty; his family including his father, grandfather, and uncle were ardent labor activists. Working to end the hierarchy of the past and empower working men. (PBS, 1999) These two experiences would influence both Carnegie’s career and his ideology for the rest of his life. At times at odds with each other, but occasionally, he was capable of walking a fine line of building his fortune and helping those around him to improve their lot.
Andrew Carnegie, a Scottish-American steel tycoon and one of the wealthiest men of the nineteenth century, believes that social inequality results as an inexorable byproduct of progress. In his 1889 article entitled “Wealth,” Carnegie claims that it is “essential” for the advancement of the human race that social divisions between the rich and poor exist, which separate those “highest and best in literature and the arts” who embody the “refinements of civilization” from those who do not (105). According to Carnegie, this “great irregularity” is favored over the “universal squalor” that would ensue if class distinctions ceased to exist (105). Carnegie states that it is a “waste of time to criticize the inevitable,” believing that poverty is an inherent characteristic of society rather than the result of elitist oppression (105). Carnegie may conclude that the rich do not necessarily owe the poor anything, but he also believes that wealthy philanthropists such as he should donate their vast accumulations to charity while they are still alive. In Carnegie’s mind, contributions to supporting educational institutions and constructing landmarks serves to
...have a gift. Whether given to me by my parents or cultivated over years of needing to have it, I have it. Some others do not have it. These strategies can be effective in augmenting what may be a lower than average baseline happiness level and therefore improving their quality of life.
Andrew Carnegie believes in a system based on principles and responsibility. The system is Individualism and when everyone strives towards the same goals the system is fair and prosperous. Carnegie’s essay is his attempt to show people a way to reach an accommodation between individualism and fairness. This system can only work if everyone knows and participates in his or her responsibilities. I will discuss Carnegie’s thesis, his arguments and the possible results of his goals.
11. When ability is confused for opportunity, society takes the blame. When freedom is traded for happiness, society takes the blame. When total equality is achieved, there will be no more achievements. It is obvious from this story that total equality diminishes everything. It causes complicity in stupidity. It causes hubris in those above of the fray. It paves the way for the authoritarians to corrupt under the guise of “perservativation”. What the story of Harrison Bergeron, more specifically Kurt Vonnegut, is telling us, is one of warning. And it must be heeded.
This in turn creates a positive atmosphere for conflict resolution. The six principles of the second segment are, Six Ways to Make People Like You, 1) Be sincerely interested in other people. 2) Smile at people. 3) Remember and use a person's name. It relays a message. It tells people they are important to you. 4) Be a good listener and encourage other people to talk about themselves. 5) Talk in terms of the other person's interest. 6) Finally, make the other person feel important and do it honestly. The third section, How to Win People to Your Way of Thinking, has twelve principles. 1) The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it. 2) Show respect for the other person's ...
Finding good in things you do not want is the goal for internal happiness. In the story “The Gift and the Giver” by Russell G. Davis and Brent K. Ashabranner and the short story “A Rich Man’s Son” by Power of Thought show that having gratitude for anything should be respected.No matter what you expect be grateful for what ever you get even if you do not want it. These two stories show that the gift is what you are getting but if you expecting nothing in return you might see the inside of the book to make you feel better.
“The more you get out of this book, the more you’ll get out of life.” This is the claim that Dale Carnegie makes in reference to his book, How to Win Friends and Influence People. Carnegie proposes that there are four main ideas that one should use when dealing with people: 1) Know how to handle people, 2) Make people like you, 3) Win people to their way of thinking, and 4) Be a leader. These skills are essential not only in being a good manager, but also in dealing with people in day to day life.
Contrary to belief, genuine happiness is very rarely found at the bottom of a shopping basket or on the leather seats of a brand new car. Often we hear the cliché saying “Money can’t buy happiness” but this is in fact true. Whilst the elation and delight brought from finally owning a wanted item is extraordinary, you must remind yourself that your happiness should not become dependant upon your ownership of this item. Being happy is not something you can purchase from a shop or car dealership, it is the way you take on life. Unfortunately, happiness does not have its own aisle at shops and never will.
To be effective listeners, the listening process should be incorporated into our lives. We should be attentive to what people say, clarify what the speaker is trying to come across, and respond in a way the speaker can understand what we are saying. I think I was aware that I needed some improvement in certain areas of this process but I feel as everything is slowly changing. In the future, I’m going try not to interrupt people, get distracted, tune out, and try to get a bigger picture of what the person is telling me. If good listening habits are applied in our day-to-day life, we can easily communicate with anyone and everyone.
One of the main aspects in communicating is listening. An effective listener is one who, not only comprehends how the speaker feels but, also understands what they are stating. Building a strong connection between the speaker and the listener is one of the first steps to become a good listener. By building this connection speakers should first be in an environment with open minded listeners, it makes them feel more comfortable to state their opinions, feelings and ideas. Listeners should avoid being judgmental. The individual does not have to agree with the ideas, values or opinions of the speaker; however, to fully understand them, one must put aside their criticism. Speakers will believe that they can trust the listeners with their information when they know that they will not be judged. Miscommunication happens frequently, listene...