Waving his Withering Pencil as if it were a Pirate's Cutlass
There have been precious few consistencies in my life, very few things I have been able to hold on to for stability. When people ask me where I’m from it is impossible to tell them with any degree of accuracy. My parents split up when I was four, and from that time I have never lived in the same place for more than two years. I attended over twenty different schools before I graduated high school. I’m thirty years old and I have lived with my ten-year-old dog for more consecutive years than any other creature on Earth. I have lived with my mother several times, but never successfully, and my father here and there, also without success. I have been shuffled between grandparents, aunts and uncles—back and forth between them and my parents until I had finally had enough. I got out on my own at fifteen, and had one very temporary relapse. Even as an adult, I have continued this pattern. I went to six colleges over eight years before earning a Bachelor’s degree, and I have already begun two different graduate programs at two different Universities. Nothing has been permanent, grounded, or stable in my life except for this inconsistency. I believe the persistent unpredictability that I grew up in contributes to the fact that I seem to be more comfortable playing the role of the outsider, the disenfranchised. I am genuinely out of step with my own culture in so many ways; it seems wherever I go I am on the outside looking in. I have never even fit in with my own family, although I am the only one that can bring them all together. Almost always alone and isolated at school, I never actually had friends until I was in high school. Socially, you might say I'm a little underdeveloped.
When I was eight, I found myself with a stepfamily. It was close to christmas time and my mother, her new husband (Craig), his two children (Todd and Melanie), and I were all at my new step-grandparents house. Craig's father had two children that were very close in age to Todd, Melanie and myself, and the five of us were in a bedroom, getting ready to play a game.
On the 9th of February 2004 TransCanada Corporation, an energy company based in Alberta, Canada proposed a plan for the installation and use of a pipeline that would stretch from Alberta, Canada to oil refineries in the Gulf Coast of Texas in the United States. The pipeline, titled the Keystone Pipeline, would be installed in four separate phases and once completed would transport up to 1.1 million barrels of synthetic crude oil per day. Phases two through four of the pipeline encompass the parts of the pipeline that would be installed in the United States and would be located in the states of North and South Dakota, Nebraska, Missouri, and Illinois. TransCanada is currently awaiting approval from the US government in order to begin the installation of the US portion of the pipeline.
When I was a child I thought everybody’s family would be the same, just your average family like mine and yours. My life as a child was a carefree life, I didn’t care for much, except stuff like doctors or dentist, I’ve done pretty much what an average kid did, I thought we had a good life going. When I went to my classmate’s house or meet their family they seemed like they were average to me. I never thought about how us as a family would have any trouble in the world, I was wrong.
It was after I had lost someone in my life that was my other half. I didn’t understand who I was, what my purpose was, what made me who I am. As far as I was concerned I was reduced to nothing more than an individual that was now alone. I didn’t realize that my identity was partly crafted from simply just being by their side all the time, that whenever I was introduced to someone, or was talking to mutuals about them, I was known for being their best friend. After the fiasco that became the end of our relationship, I felt as if I was just floating through the days and nights. This feeling went on for about 2 months until I slowly came out of it. I didn’t experience a grand epiphany of any sort that inspired me to change myself. I was painting and listening to music and the thought just slowly came to me. I love to paint, and I love listening to and creating and playing music. I began to gain back my sense of identity by engaging in activities I loved. I’m a painter, a musician, a writer, a passionate lover of movies. I’ve learned that identity can isn’t set in stone, there’s always room for
Russia lost many men in the battle which made them lose the war and they had to pay back. When they lost this caused the Russian economy to crash and by that caused the Russian revolution. The Russian Revolution began in 1917 after Russia lost many wars which made the economy weak. During the 1914 in World war 1 Russia had lost many supplies and military men and Russia lacked good leadership. Tsar Nicholas was in control of Russian government and the army and he refused to share his power with the masses. Then the Duma Parliament in the summer of 1915 demanded the government with democratic values and to show responsibility to the citizens in the country that needed help. However, later that year Nicholas eliminated the Duma and went to war. Tsar Nicholas left the country to be destroyed. Then the government was taken over by Tsarina Alexandra Nicholas wife. She attempted to rule absolutely in her husband’s absence by firing and electing officials of her
And while the details of the arguments that caused these altercations are lost to me now, all I can remember is the distrust and rejection that ravished my identity the moment their bodies made physical contact with mine. Living a life that was constructed by them and for them, I was utterly lost when the feelings of trust and acceptance died. I had committed myself to taking part in extracurricular clubs that stepped up my involvement and got me closer to getting ahead, and I had achieved a status that was somewhat unmatchable for others in regard to my popularity because of my success, but all of this seemed pointless because of the confusion that my parents
People look at you like you’re the one to blame. They see your tattered sneakers and tangled, greasy hair, and they think they know you. But how could they? You amble down the sidewalk, keep your head down, your eyes averted. You don’t want any trouble. People are quick to assume that's what you're looking for. Your lips are chapped and your face is dirty. You cannot remember the last time you brushed your teeth, let alone took a shower. The thought makes you laugh almost as much as the thought of your old bedroom walls, the shadows cast by the ceiling fan as you stared up from your bed. You had to leave home. It was taken from you. The adults in your life shifted as you grew older, or perhaps you just grew aware. They took pills or tipped glasses or screamed at you for no particular reason. They kicked you out when you got pregnant, when you got mouthy, when you weren't all they wanted you to be. They got sadistic. They crossed unspeakable lines. You had to leave home. You are barely more than a child. At least, you were before. Now, you are homeless.
By leading carefree conversations, by being energetic and positive all the time I believed I was only meeting the expectations of a new society while my another, thoughtful, pensive, sometimes melancholic and sensitive self was hiding somewhere behind. In the very beginning of the semester, I would lie down on the Quad, look at the humongous moon and the sky full of stars and reflect on life. In the middle of the semester, I looked at the sky with the same intention to think and analyze, but I was deeply disappointed to discover that my reflections had become as superficial and shallow as my daily life, I was not able to find thoughtful Elene, the one I was hiding so carefully. I encountered what a philosopher Martha Nussbaum defines as an “ultimate irony of the divided life”: live behind a wall long enough, and the true self you tried to hide from the world disappears from your own view! The wall itself and the world outside it become all that you
Growing up, I was given the freedom to choose who I wanted to be, to decide what I wanted to do. I grew up with many different opportunities and chances to try out new things. A simple life I led as a child, sheltered and loved by all, but I was oblivious to reality, lost in my own “perfect” world. Yet as I grew up and began to surpass the age of imaginary worlds, the idea of “perfection” had begun to fade and reality began to settle in. Like a splash of cold water, I went from a childish mindset to an adult’s. Child hood play was a thing of the past and responsibility became the norm.
On that fateful day in March, I was a couple months shy of my third birthday. My family and I lived in New Mexico at the time and were renting a house with an outdoor in-ground pool. The day was beautiful. I was outside with my oldest sister Rachel and my father. Rachel was diligently reading curled up on a bench that sat against the house, and my father was mowing the backyard. My mother and my other sister were in the house. Off to one side of the house there was a group of large bushes. I was playing over there with one of her large cooking pots, off in my own little world. At one point while amusing and en...
...eling of inferiority therefore; I will do whatever it takes to not feel that way. Stage five taught me how to identify with who I was. During this stage I accepted certain things about myself and learned new interest that stick with me till this very day. Rather than be confused with who I was or what I wanted to be, during this stage I identified with myself. During stage six, the final stage I am learning that I have issues with isolation and have a strong need for intimacy because of the strong relationship I have had with my father since I as a child. I am still currently going through this stage and am wondering if I it is something I will grow out of, or is something that will stick with me forever.
It had come to the attention of my family that I had some sort of psychological problem and something had to be done. I was always labeled as a shy and quiet kid, and like my family I had thought nothing more of my behavior. However, now it had become something more obvious. I had told my parents the kinds of problems I was having. Basically I didn't want to talk to anyone or to be anywhere near anyone I didn't know. I didn't really want to leave my house for any reason for fear that I might have to talk to someone. I was so critical and scrutinizing in relation to myself that I couldn't even enter into a conversation. Everyone seems to have a part of themselves that lends itself to thoughts of pessimism and failure, but mine was something that was in the forefront of my mind at all times. Something telling me that everything I did was a failure, and that anything I ever did would not succeed. Through discussion with my family it was decided that I should move out of my parents house to a place where I could find treatment and get a job. I was to reside with my sister Lisa, her partner Brynn, and their Saint Bernard in Greensboro.
...stern parent and learning to keep my sanity. As an adult today I thank my mother for all the hard work and examples she set forth. There are personal instances that one experience’s fallacies of adolescent thinking, imaginary audience and or personal fable. These are aspects of thinking develop in adolescence. The stage I recall was the adolescent thinking. I thought everyone was as aware of my own awkwardness as I was when in fact they had their own issues to deal with. My crucial teenage years developed in high-school. I expressed the stage of foreclosure as well as identity achievement. This is considered a period of intense self-exploration called identity crisis that we all in some point of our adolescent lives go through. For some it takes going through all four stages such as: identity diffusion, foreclosure, moratorium to finally reach identity achievement.
At the young age of ten, I was faced with a situation that has had one of the largest influences in who I am today. My parents’ divorce has and still currently plays a role in my life that has affected my drive for motivation bringing diverse perspectives. At such a young age, I was filled with such remorse, discouragement, and fear. My educational abilities were collapsing, along with some of my common social activities. I was absent-minded due to my adolescent understanding and confusion of the situation. I became emotionally depleted coming eye to eye with what I was promised would never happen. My personal connections with my family gradually became diminished, from what I kept so valuable. I was placed in a situation that tore apart my contentment, arrogance, and self motivation. It wasn’t until years later, I took my position as a chance to transform my bleakness into a strong desire for greatness.
We all have those days where we feel so hopeless or unable to do anything right. We have all felt that we couldn’t finish school or other life challenges. We question everything about life, that’s what happened with me. I had never had a normal life and now it takes a turn for the worse. I grew up under the circumstances that forced me to become more responsible and mature, which has enabled me to succeed later in life.
Complicated is a good word to describe my childhood. I am originally from Lima, Peru, where I lived my first eight years. Also, I am the only child of my mom Susana Ramos, a secretary, and Julio Ayin, a pilot of the Peruvian air force. Since before I was born, my parents were separated because of infidelities. Both, frequently argued over money and myself. I had to constantly attend counseling sessions because I was acting up, due to the fact that I was getting affected by my parent’s hostile encounters. As a kid, I always looked at my friends and saw how their family were united and how they had a great relationship with their father, which I always wanted but never got. I spend countless nights, crying and trying to figure out why my father never came to see me and every time I ask him why he never told me. Until one day I found out that he got