Voices

Voices

What is your worst nightmare? What if the entire human population thought of you as defective and criticized you harshly? How about having several voices screaming at you for any little thing that you did wrong? What would life be like if you couldn't decipher reality from imagination? These are common scenarios that schizophrenics deal with every hour of the day -- they can't wake up from their nightmare. A living hell. A torture chamber devoid of walls. Like a schizophrenic poet wrote, "I live in a closet. Unlike most closets, mine is invisible. No one else can see it or touch it or even come inside to keep me company. Nevertheless, its imprisoning walls and terrifying darkness are very real," (3). The loneliness that this poet, Pamela Wagner, feels is excruciating, yet what is it about schizophrenia that makes the victim so alone? What makes the disease so isolating and detrimental to one's existence? These questions are answered here by the voices of those who have first-hand experience as paranoid schizophrenics. Not only are some symptoms of schizophrenia discussed, but also the turmoil one goes through with medication as well.

Albeit that their have been many case studies performed by psychologists, the words of a schizophrenic give new meaning to the disease. For paranoid schizophrenia, an increase in recent literature reveals the point of view of the ill person. No two cases are exactly the same, so what follows is a conglomeration of experiences of paranoid schizophrenia survivors. As one schizophrenic has stated: "The schizophrenic experience can be a terrifying journey through a world of madness no one can understand, particularly the person traveling through it. It is a journey through a world that is deranged, empty and devoid of anchors to reality. You feel very much alone. You find it easier to withdraw than cope with a reality that is incongruent with your fantasy world. You feel tormented by distorted perceptions. You cannot distinguish what is real from what is unreal. Schizophrenia affects all aspects of your life. Your thoughts race and you feel fragmented and so very alone with your 'craziness,'" (6). Paranoid schizophrenia is a very debilitating disease -- it takes over one's life and creates a downward spiral into one's own surreal world. No longer can one communicate or relate to other people. Reality is distorted to fit the pattern of paranoia inside one's mind.