View From The Window

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Recommended: Negative impact of solitude

My favorite window in my house is a simple one, plastic frame around it, double pained, and these days pretty dirty. It is set directly across from my futon that I've ruined over the years.It sits in what is now my bedroom as well as the living room. I spend many nights looking out of it as I try to fall asleep, it overlooks most of Bennington and is actually quite beautiful at night, all of the street lights sparkle like bioluminescent Pyrrophyta. I find myself forgetting about the beautiful view most of the time, I tend to look at nothing when I think, my eyes fix on a general direction but they do not see. Many times when I am looking out this window I'm not seeing the Eveready building or all three of my old apartments, I am usually too busy resenting that I am confined to this room night after night. I lost the privilege of my own room about a year ago,I gave my mother an ultimatum to choose me or her boy friend; she didn't choose me. I am essentially kicked out of my house the moment I save up enough money for a deposit on an apartment, it's a slow pace without work. This room hasn't always been such a prison to me, when I was younger before things became so convoluted I spent the best summer of my life primarily in this exact room. It was the summer before I enrolled in high school, I had just turned 14 and spent practically every waking moment with my best friend and ultimately my girlfriend. I drank alcohol for the first time with her in this room, we split a wine cooler we found in the back of the refrigerator and fell asleep almost immediately. We had our first kiss in this room, and watched endless hours of awful logo reruns, but it was the most fun I have ever had. We are still friends although both of us are dating m... ... middle of paper ... ... a part of, and the beautiful trees and stars I take for granted and need so desperately to be reminded of. Taking a break and looking around at the beauty of nature is immeasurably therapeutic, maybe that is the goal of this project, to notice the world around you. I find myself so engrossed in the world within my head I forget there is one worth knowing outside of my skull, being an introvert has its benefits, I know myself well but taking a step outside of my normal mental tendencies is always refreshing. As a painter I have always wanted to capture this panorama of the city but technical skill or lack of has stopped this from happening, one day though I will capture it and make it my own to take with me outside of these walls into my new home. I guess despite my desperation to leave this place behind some memories are worth carrying with me, this window being one.

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