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Understanding Flaws and Boundries in a Friendship

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FRIENDS WITH FLAWS
How do you feel about having a friend with problems? You may already have. And guess what? Your friend may feel the same way about you. The point is, no one is perfect, so don’t expect to find a perfect friend. Have you heard the saying “don’t sweat the small stuff”? You may have small mishaps at times, but is it worth ruining a friendship? Don’t stay angry for long. If you have an argument, talk about it and settle it. Real friends care enough about each other to forgive and forget.

If you have issues that are too difficult to resolve, then maybe you’re in an incompatible relationship. If so, this unhealthy relationship isn’t worth continuing. But be cautious and don’t allow one incident to end a good relationship that may be worth salvaging. If you are uncertain, don’t harshly end a friendship. Let emotions calm down and take time to look at the situation logically. Then you’ll know what to do. Many best friend relationships have problems, but that is common. Accepting friends and their flaws is the best way to make and keep a good friend for a lifetime.

LESSONS LEARNED IN THIS SECTION:
Be prepared to accept a friend with flaws.
You have flaws too.
If you have a dispute, calm down before you talk about it.
Learn to forgive and forget.
Don’t let small spats end a good friendship.

RESPECT BOUNDARIES OR ELSE
A person in a co-dependent relationship who doesn’t understand healthy boundaries can ruin a good friendship. Knowing your boundaries simply means understanding acceptable limits and respecting them.

Here is a story about a co-dependent relationship. Remember the lady I told you about earlier who knocked on doors to make friends? I have another story to tell about her. This time it involves me and shows...

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...able with. Simply ask and discuss mutually acceptable boundaries if you can’t tell on your own. If that is too awkward, listen to the tone of their voice when you mention you want to visit or do something with them. If their response lacks enthusiasm, maybe they are trying to tell you something without saying it. Lastly, watch for clues in their body language. If you make a suggestion and they take a deep breath and sigh, that can be a sign of disapproval.

Do be aware of stepping over acceptable boundaries, but don’t be obsessed about watching for clues. Adjust the amount of time you spend with a friend if necessary. If you don’t respect boundaries you increase the chance of losing a friend as I did.

LESSONS LEARNED IN THIS CHAPTER:
Respect proper boundaries.
Discuss acceptable limits.
Don’t let emotional needs be a burden.
Adjust time spent together if necessary.
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