III. Unconscious Dynamics/Core Schemas Story 1: My Suspicions of Others When I begin to experience a connection with someone, my fear of abandonment is initiated and my vulnerability causes me to become suspicious of the other person. I am aware of my deep need for acceptance but I panic because I believe that others will somehow demean me. In most cases, I view social connections as dangerous and, in my inexplicable anxiety, I attempt to sabotage the relationship while convincing myself that others do not truly care about me. Unfortunately, this leads to a pattern of avoiding emotional depth resulting in an overwhelming mistrust of others. For instance, I have always been viewed as an extroverted person because of my ability to navigate social situations with charm and articulacy. Nevertheless, when a social situation begins to deepen, and I find a person getting too close to me, I withdraw and hide parts of myself from them. I control my conversations with others so that the focus is always on their life and issues. This keeps my relationship with them at a superficial level so that I am able to hide in plain sight; I appear open and approachable without disclosing too much about myself or emotions. Consequently, because of all of my efforts to keep others out, when someone still …show more content…
The man was honest, attentive, and expressive with me. I did not trust him and spent most of our initial interactions pushing him away. I was suspicious of him so I put him through random tests where I would try to catch him being deceptive or manipulative. When I failed to prove his dishonesty, I began to ask him to do things for me, even when it was unnecessary, to gauge his level of consideration and feelings for me. Occasionally, I would purposely degrade or disrespect him to see if he could handle the worst of my tempestuous nature. When he passed my assessments, I finally began to open up to
People are increasingly turning to para-social relationships because their social needs are not being met. A para-social relationship is a one sided relationship based on an illusion of a connection to another person. People who form these types of relationships can be lonely or not getting the social interactions they need. Halpern states, “The combination of loneliness and
Social aspects take up a big part of everyday life, therefore it is very important. Because of emotional withdrawals that can come from victim abuse, those who suffer from emotional trauma have a harder time feeling comfortable in social situations than those who had a normal childhood. Even those who have gotten over the shy part of things still struggle with finding things in common with others, trusting them, and even putting themselves out there. Especially with romantic relationships, past abuse affects as well. A source says, “Decades later, even when in a loving and supportive relationship, they still cannot erase those false scripts from their heads and wholly embrace a loving partner.” (Berman) Distrust of other people is also a prominent factor that plays a part in his or her life. “When the primary relationship is one of betrayal, a negative schema or set of beliefs develops. This negative core schema often affects an individual’s capacity to establish and sustain significant attachments throughout life.” (Blue Knot) Because someone who was supposed to bring primary support and love turned on him or her and treated them wrongly, trust levels in many relationships have a tendency to be cracked and
I can be kind of closed off and separated from people at first, but once I start to know people and approach them more then I become very open and outgoing. I feel this is a very important aspect of my life, it could be a good thing or a bad thing. One problem that comes from this aspect of me is that it makes it hard for me to meet new people because I always come off as closed off. I see Chuck Nolan as being a very outgoing person and he is not afraid to express himself, that is one difference between me and Chuck, but I feel that in time I could be more open and more approachable as a person like
This really hit home for me. I put way too much of myself into all of my relationships, and when they dissolve, I lose my identity completely. I think I have improved tremendously since high school, but I still need to be careful with myself. This showed me exactly what not to do; which is unfortunately exactly what I’ve been doing. My anxious attachment affects everything I do and all the relationships I have. Based on my findings, most everyone with anxious attachments feels the same way.
The unconscious has a huge part in shaping human behavior, yet many overlook the idea behind it. This is an idea that maybe these unconscious behaviors can be used to alter the future or the past mistakes or anything in between for that matter. Everyone dreams at some point in their life and what many people don’t realize is that dreams usually develop from past experiences or from actual occurrences and thoughts. This means that if someone happened to see a guy wearing a cowboy hat with a feather in it, in one of their dreams, they most likely saw this person at some point in their life and may not have even realized it. It is impossible to create a new face in a dream. In Inception (2009), Christopher Nolan portrays Dom Cobb as a special operative whose life mirrors a Freudian psychological reality in which his repressed guilt leads to self-destructive behavior.
My personality reveals to others that I can be a bit sensitive to other people opinions and ideas.
I have a small circle of friends of which two know me fully, and am a firm believer in, "you only know what I wish to show or tell you." I spend a large amount of time observing others, reading, and or seeing through people which is a big part of my friend selection process. In friendships, I am often told that no one can tell what may be on my mind, often dubbed as a reserved and unfeeling individual at first glance, but an extremely caring individual once I am engaged in conversation, as well as a very complex individual who thrives on being mysterious and purposefully leaves everyone guessing.
that person’s sense of trust and level of intimacy, and collected from self-report data. Self disclosure is reflected in actual behavior and can be measured through observation of a person’s situations such as the initial stage of a group. Attachment research has shown that secure attachment contributes to subjective well-being, high self-esteem, high self-efficacy, self-control, and well-adjusted interpersonal behavior. Insecure attachment seems to be organized around two basic dimensions: avoidance and anxiety-ambivalence. Avoidant adults tend to be uncomfortable about and have difficulties being close to and trusting others; anxious-ambivalent adults want closeness to others, worry that others do not love or want to be with them, and sometimes scare others away with their intense need for closeness.
Glasser believes that humans are genetically social creatures and need other people. He suggests that the cause of almost all psychological symptoms is an inability to get along with the important peopl...
With some degree of differences, every individual has their own capacity to form and maintain relationships. Some people naturally form and maintain close and caring relationships, but unfortunately, some others are not.
Especially towards people I don't know very well. However, people who I call my friends, know me as a very lively and talkative person.
When I am entirely enthralled by an individual, I exhibit sense a naivety. In that situation, it became difficult for me to detect dangerous vibe this individual was emitting as I was intoxicated by the euphoria of love. In the beginning, it was not apparent that this person was using similar techniques to those I would normally utilize for personal gain. They would swoon me with sweet words, and strengthen my confidence. However, once I admitted my desire to begin a relationship with this individual they lashed out at me, stating that they were only using me for the sexual benefits. Those words shattered me completely, and it took nearly four months to regain a stable mentality. Until recently, I was fueled for my hatred of them and my disgust in their actions. When suddenly, it dawned on me that I have behaved similar to that individual in the past. Although, I have never manipulated anyone for sexual benefits, I have coerced people into emotionally rescuing me. Through this realization, I have let go of my distain for this person, and begun working on improving my relationship with The Damsel
I keep my emotions in and relaxed and I am usually very secure and sure of myself even with a large group of people.
The buildup and the possible breakdown, which is known as social depenetration, is explained. My past relationships have begun and ended in this way. I will use my last relationship as an example because it is the most fresh in my mind. It started off with shallow superficial things. There was physical attraction, I like the way she looked and carried herself. I enjoyed the same hobbies as well as the movies she watched. Then we eventually started disclosing more personal information. We had deeper talks such as life goals. I feel that these are the “honeymoon” stages, when it’s all about fun. Things started to get serious, and she implied that we live together. At first I was a little hesitant, because I was afraid that there were things about me that may ruin the smooth relationship we were having. As the theory insists, this feelings of discomfort stemmed from the “Self-Concept” factor. I was worried that the way I lived was not up to her expectations. One example would be my level of organization. In comparison to my Jitchan, I am not the tidiest person. She was, in my opinion, a high maintenance girl, but after living with her for a month, I could see that the way she presented herself in public didn’t correlate with the tidiness of her home. I had mix feeling on that one, I was glad that my tidiness was not a problem, although her untidiness signaled possible future
The first letter in my personality “type” is for the descriptor “Extraverted”. This shows to be a very large part of my personality. I can attest to the fact that I am very outgoing and do enjoy being the center of attention. This has allowed me to be comfortably assertive when I am needing to be with clients and coworkers but has a shadow side that has often backfired at times when I should just be quiet and keep my mouth shut.