The pain of losing someone close you love can be traumatizing and crippling. It serves as a reminder of the fickle human mortality and how nothing is forever, although we often deceive ourselves into thinking so. Even though the loss of someone you hold dearly most likely will be painful and distressing at first, it is possible to turn this experience into something positive. Although doing this takes a lot of will and motivation, learning to get the best out of life and enjoying it while it lasts is very rewarding and fulfilling. But can this be accomplished by anyone? An example of a person going through this challenging transformation can be found in Julia Gray’s “People-Watching” (2014). This novel tells the story of a young man named …show more content…
Instead, it focuses on Paul’s psychological development. The story is linear and uses flashbacks which, triggered by Kajsa’s questions, drives the story forward and explains Paul’s behavior. It is also through these that the reader is introduced to the thing that drives Paul forward: “[…] and how he’d like to specialise in access arrangements when he graduates, because the best thing about buildings, really, is that you can use them to keep people safe” (p. 3, l. 91-93). Turtle died when the roof of a building collapsed on her, and so, to prevent this from happening to anyone again, Paul wants to be an architect and design safe buildings. Several well-known figures from children’s films and books are mentioned in the story, for example Paddington Bear, which tells the reader that Paul is still stuck in his childhood. This is supported by the fact that the one incident that drives Paul forward happened when he was young; he is simply unable to move on. That is, until he meets Kajsa. She, unlike him, is very energetic and wavering. This difference between the two is clear in their choice of an artist chair. Kajsa’s is rickety while Paul’s is sturdy, which again explains why she is the perfect person to get Paul to open up: He needs someone lighthearted and free-minded to combat his need for stability: “He wonders if there are people watching them: the girl with the mermaid fringe, the tall boy whose eyes betray the beginning of tears. But he doesn’t really care” (p. 6, l. 195-196). By working through the feelings associated with and the circumstances surrounding Turtle’s death with Kajsa, Paul starts to accept it. Although he is still severely touched by his sister’s accident, he is now ready to move
In “Whoever We Are, Loss Finds us and Defines Us”, by Anna Quindlen, she brings forth the discussion grief's grip on the lives of the living. Wounds of death can heal with the passing of time, but in this instance, the hurt lives on. Published in New York, New York on June 5, 1994, this is one of many Quindlen published in the New York Times, centered on death's aftermath. This article, written in response to the death of Quindlen’s sister-in-law, and is focused on an audience who has, currently is, or will experience death. Quindlen-a columnist for the New York Times and Newsweek, Pulitzer Prize winner and author-has written six bestselling novels (Every Last One, Rise and Shine, Object Lessons, One True Thing, and Black and Blue) and has been published in the New York Times and Newsweek.
Every encounter Paul has with someone he creates a new identity to bond and connect with them. Throughout the play Paul creates multiple personas for himself, he realizes that he is an empty vessel with no past and only memories of what he has done during his different personas. Paul loses control over his multiple personas which cause them to overlap with each other. Which causes him to feel lost and in search of help, when Ousia offers this help he gladly takes it which end up putting him in prison and never to be seen in New York.
Throughout the lives of most people on the planet, there comes a time when there may be a loss of love, hope or remembrance in our lives. These troublesome times in our lives can be the hardest things we go through. Without love or hope, what is there to live for? Some see that the loss of hope and love means the end, these people being pessimistic, while others can see that even though they feel at a loss of love and hope that one day again they will feel love and have that sense of hope, these people are optimistic. These feelings that all of us had, have been around since the dawn of many. Throughout the centuries, the expression of these feelings has made their ways into literature, novels, plays, poems, and recently movies. The qualities of love, hope, and remembrance can be seen in Emily Bronte’s and Thomas Hardy’s poems of “Remembrance” “Darkling Thrush” and “Ah, Are you Digging on my Grave?”
Each of us, in time, will experience a heart-stopping reality - the death or loss of someone or something we love. Maybe it will be of a family member or just a pet we dearly cherished, but the feelings we have are all too real and all too painful. This loss is probably by far the greatest and most severe emotional trauma we can encounter, and the sense of loss and grief that follows is a healthy, natural, and important part of healing ("Death"). In The River Warren by Kent Meyers Jeff Gruber learns to deal with the grief associated with the loss of his younger brother, Chris. This grief is perhaps the strongest of all emotions that bind families together, but it can also be the hardest to overcome. We never really get over these feelings; we just absorb them into our lives and move on. According to Dr. Elizabeth Kubler-Ross, there are five basic stages of grief. They are denial and isolation, anger, bargaining, depression, and finally acceptance. It is not unusual for people to be lost in one of the first four stages, and until they move on to acceptance
The Other Side of Sadness: What the New Science Tells Us about Life after Loss, written by George A. Bonanno, illustrates the ways in which different people deal with loss in different ways and even so, most of us are resilient to loss. Death is an inevitable phase every person must face. Throughout one’s life, everybody is destined to confront the pain of death in his or her lifetime. But how do we cope? Is there a “correct” or “normal” way, or length of time we are supposed to use, to recover after a major loss? Bonanno delves into the ways in which we deal with grief and loss that are contrary to what people generally presume. We may be surprised, even hurt, by a loss, but we still manage to pull ourselves back together and move on. One of the recurring arguments made in The Other Side of Sadness: What the New Science Tells Us about Life after Loss is that resilience after loss is real, prevailing, and enduring. Bonanno is able to provide much compelling evidence to show the different patterns or trajectories of grief reactions across time shown by bereaved people. He also explains thoroughly how grief is not work by elucidating the ways emotions work to help us deal with demanding environments. Bonanno is successful in allowing the readers to be conscious of what people are grieving after a major loss – they don’t grieve facts, they grieve what they remember. In addition, Bonanno explains how death elicits both terror and curiosity to help his readers conceptualize death. Bonanno essentially articulates that resilience is both genuine and lasting because it is in our human capacity to thrive in the face of adversity.
Everyone copes with grief in his or her own ways. Tracy K. Smith, the poet laureate of the United States and
“Every part of my body hurts. Except my heart. I saw no one, but, strange as it was, I missed no one” (Strayed 70). This takes a turn of events. “Every part of my body hurts, except my heart,” gives new meaning and how Strayed manages to gain emotional stability in the wake of her mothers’ death, and illness. This shows great strength in regards that she rises above the obstacles thrown in her path--the feeling of what it means to be alive. This work invites and informs the reader of the many ways one can cope with loss; moreover, Strayed demonstrates what what may work for everyone--the method of sublimation.
In his first year of school, he is only interested in Megan Murray, the first girl Paul has ever lusted for. However in his second year, he meets Rosie. Rosie watches him practise in the Music Room during lunch. Initially, Paul feels intimidated by Rosie as he thinks that she is too much like himself. He is afraid that he now has competition as she is the other smart kid in the class, yet he still chooses to teach her some piano. Choosing to spring lines from Herr Keller’s teachings, he makes himself sound smarter and more accomplished at the piano than he actually is. The characters show the development of Paul through the way they act with Paul and the language and content used in conversation. This enables us to see Paul’s “plumage” being presented to the world as Paul develops through time to become the swan that he is at the end of the novel.
Though most have a desire to leave earth and enter eternal life peacefully, without any sorrow, the departure of a loved one can be despondent. Previously in 2011, my grandfather passed away due to heart failure. It was an arduous battle, not only for my grandfather, but also for the close knit family surrounding him. His battle with heart failure enabled me to create unforgettable memories with him, even in his final days. Laughing together, playing together and learning significant values about life together made me grow to become a more mature and wise person. Therefore, my personal experience is entwined with empathy because the death of my grandfather has made me realize how dismal it is to lose someone important. It also interplays with self-interest because I have grown as an individual to deal with the ache that is attached to losing a family member. It has helped me to realize how beautiful the gift of life is. Stephen Dunn, the poet behind Empathy and my story are connected because they both involve the feeling of empathy for others and the self-interest of an individual. They help us to grow and learn about ourselves and the emotions of
“I know for certain that we never lose the people we love, even to death. They continue to participate in every act, thought and decision we make. Their love leaves an indelible imprint in our memories. We find comfort in knowing that our lives have been enriched by having shared their love.” (Buscaglia, 2013)
Overcoming the grief that is felt after losing a loved one is a physically and mentally agonizing task. According to Dr. Christina Hibbert, a clinical psychologist who graduated from the California School of Professional Psychology, three main stages of grief include anger, depression and acceptance. Each one of these emotions can be seen in William Shakespeare’s Hamlet and The Descendants (2011, Payne) as the artists explore the effects of grief and the different emotional responses that one can have due to the loss of a loved one. Additionally, in Ismail Kadare’s Broken April, the Berisha family feels the sufferance that is associated with unexpected death, as well as the various temperamental reactions that one will have after losing a loved one. Each of these works of art represent a powerful example of the stages that one will go through after feeling the intense sorrow that is connected with death, as well as the unavoidable effects of grief.
In ‘Paul’s Case’ Paul has created a fantasy world in which he becomes entranced, even to the point of lying to classmates about the tales of grandeur and close friendships that he had made with the members of the stock company. This fantasy falls apart around him as “the principle went to Paul’s father, and Paul was taken out of school and put to work. The manager at Carnegie Hall was told to get another usher in his stead; the doorkeeper at the theater was warned not to admit him to the house” (Cather 8). The fantasy fell apart further when the stories he had told his classmates reached the ears of the women of the stock company, who unlike their lavish descriptions from Paul were actually hardworking women supporting their families. Unable to cope with the reality of working for Denny & Carson, he stole the money he was supposed to deposit in the bank to live the life of luxury in New York. Only a person who felt backed into a corner would attempt something so unsound. After his eight days in paradise, he is again backed into a corner by the reality of his middle class upbringing, and the dwindling time he has before his father reaches New York to find him. The final way out for Paul is his suicide, for which an explanation would be “In the end, he fails to find his security, for it was his grandiose “picture making mechanism” that made his life so deardful.” (Saari). With all the securities of his fantasy life finally gone, his mental instability fully comes to light as he jumps in front of the train to end his
Saying Goodbye To Someone You Love : Your Emotional Journey Through End Of Life And Grief. New York: DemosHealth, 2010. eBook Collection (EBSCOhost). Web. 25 Feb. 2014
In the beginning of the story, Paul seems to be a typical teenage boy: in trouble for causing problems in the classroom. As the story progresses, the reader can infer that Paul is rather withdrawn. He would rather live in his fantasy world than face reality. Paul dreaded returning home after the Carnegie Hall performances. He loathed his "ugly sleeping chamber with the yellow walls," but most of all, he feared his father. This is the first sign that he has a troubled homelife. Next, the reader learns that Paul has no mother, and that his father holds a neighbor boy up to Paul as "a model" . The lack of affection that Paul received at home caused him to look elsewhere for the attention that he craved.
As I grow older, I will attempt to create a life that I can look back on and think, “That was a life worth living.” Recently, my boyfriend’s grandfather passed away. He knew that his last day was near, but he kept saying that he was not sad, for he had lived a long full life (Matthew Morel, personal communication, February 2016). Contrarily, my grandmother, who is still living today, is obviously in a state of