A relationship between a father and son can be very confusing, especially to a young woman. In the book, Things Fall Apart by Chinua Achebe, there are several relationships that Okonkwo has with his children. Throughout the book, Okonkwo fails with three relationships between his sons and daughter. This proves that even Okonkwo himself, a “strong man” in his village, is a “weak man”. Okonkwo’s relationship with Ikemefuna is interesting. Okonkwo adopted the boy and raised him as his own. Okonkwo adored Ikemefuna and favored him among the rest of his sons. And Ikemefuna adored him right back. Okonkwo thought that his own son was more of a man that his biological son, Nwoye. Ikemefuna started to call Okonkwo “father,” yet when the village elders …show more content…
Nwoye was the biological son of Okonkwo’s who did not live up to Okonkwo’s expectations of who his son should be. Nwoye was gentle instead of being tough like Okonkwo wanted. Okonkwo thought of Nwoye’s gentleness as a sign of weakness, one he related to his father, who he also saw as a weak man. The one thing Nwoye wanted most was to prove to his father that he was, in fact, ready to enter manhood. “He [Okonkwo] wanted Nwoye to grow into a tough young man capable of ruling his father’s household when he was dead and gone to join the ancestors” (page 32). Okonkwo wanted a sire who would be capable and ready to lead his family when Okonkwo was ready to die and leave this world. He wished for his son to be strong enough to replace him, if not stronger. Yet Okonkwo did not share his feelings about his son, he kept them inside. He thought that by not sharing his feelings, he was being a strong man, stronger than his father, who before him had been very kind and open about his feelings. Because of Okonkwo’s unwillingness to become like his father, this lead Nwoye to dream about his father thinking of him more than a weak son. Nwoye felt alone, waiting to finally be recognized as the strong man he is. “They go through their adolescent rituals day after day for a lifetime, waiting for a father to anoint them and treat them as good enough to be considered a man” (Pittman). Since Okonkwo never shared his dream for …show more content…
A father should be vocal and express his true feelings rather than keep quiet in fear of being less of a man. Okonkwo was his own antagonist, not letting his emotions take control of his life, in fear of becoming like his father. He does not only show his weakness through his mistakes, he demonstrates how his thoughts of how a strong man should be varied from person to person. Okonkwo thought that he was the strong man of his village, but took the weak man’s exit when he commits suicide, which brings around the full circle of how men can be both strong and weak through their
" Okonkwo eating his food absent minded, she should have been a boy he taught as he looked at his ten year old Daughter, passing her a piece of fish " (Achebe pg. 64). The interpretation taught of Okonkwo the tragic-hero , Achebe interpretation of his taught upon his daughter on his view of her as a tad less appealing towards him, the wish for strength , taught are truly illustrated with the image of the character . Achebe interpret portions of the novel “Things fall apart “Emphasize on the meaning with the lack of beliefs, respect, discouragement, weakness with true honour. The protagonist is relentless with himself about the women traits within him to hide his true emotions (The weakness shown throughout years of study towards women) “if I were you I would have stayed at home. What you have done will not please the earth. It is the kind of action for which the goddesses wipeout whole families “(Achebe pg. 64). Achebe sight on common goals between one another where primarily visible, His initial start
Okonkwo’s first and most distinctive flaw is his fear of failure. Many people would agree that this flaw is driven by the fear of becoming his father, but Okonkwo takes this fear too far. Okonkwo’s father, Unoka, was known for being a very lazy and carefree man. He also had notoriety of being “…poor and his wife and children had barely enough to eat.” (Achebe 5). A big tradition in Umuofia is having a father who is supposed to teach his children right and wrong. In Okonkwo’s case, these lessons had to be self-taught. Okonkwo had to commit to his own understandings of what defined a “good man” and to him that was the exact opposite of his father. Because of his fear to be seen as weak, Okonkwo even murders a child that calls him father. Ikemefuna was sent to live with Okonkwo because someone was murdered in a nearby village. An example of Okonkwo’s ill-hearted actions are shown in the following quote: “As the man drew up and raised his machete, Okonkwo looked away. He heard the blow. He heard Ikemefuna cry, ‘My father, they have killed me!’ as he ran towards him. Dazed with fear, Okonkwo drew his machete and cut him down. He was afraid of being thought weak.” (Achebe 61). The fact that he kills Ikemefuna shows that his reputation is more important than the life of a child. Okonkwo’s fear permits him to receive more respect from his tribe, but only because it inclines him to do better than anyone else.
Unlike his father, Okonkwo is a hard worker with little debt and a driven personality. His internal fear leads to his decision to beat his wife during the week of peace and to take part in the mandatory action of killing his beloved son, Ikemefuna.
Okonkwo is supposed to be comforting to his children, but instead he hurts them. “Nwoye overheard it and burst into tears, whereupon his father beat him heavily. As for Ikemefuna, he was at a loss. His own home had gradually become very faint and
This quote shows that Okonkwo is really sympathetic and how he has a liking ness to some children for different reasons. This also shows how Okonkwo is not a heartless man and actually cares for his children. “He therefore treated Ikemefuna as he treated everybody else - with a heavy hand. But there was no doubt that he liked the boy.” (Achebe Ch 4) This shows that Okonkwo even shows sympathy to those that are not related to him. Ikemefuna came in as a prisoner but later ended up becoming apart of Okonkwo's family.
Okonkwo’s fear leads him to treat members of his family harshly, in particular his son, Nwoye. Okonkwo often wonders how he, a man of great strength and work ethic, could have had a son who was “degenerate and effeminate” (133). Okonkwo thought that, "No matter how prosperous a man was, if he was unable to rule his women and his children (and especially his women) he was not really a man" (45).
From birth Okonkwo had wanted his son, Nwoye, to be a great warrior like him. His son instead rebelled and wanted to be nothing like Okonkwo. Okonkwo would not change so that his son would idolize him, as he had wanted since his son's birth. He chose not to acknowledge his son's existence instead. This would weigh heavily on anyone's conscience, yet Okonkwo does not let his relationship with his son affect him in the least bit.
In the novel, Things Fall Apart, written by Chinua Achebe, Okonkwo is a sympathetic and unsympathetic character in regards to his family relationships with his adopted son, Ikemefuna, his daughter, Ezima, and his father, Unoka, as a result of he appears to genuinely care about his family; but, the pride within himself prevents his expression of such pride and concern openly. The protagonist, Okonkwo demonstrates his sympathetic character solely to himself, personally, and infrequently not in the eyes of others. During the plotting of Ilemefuna’s death, Okonkwo was hesitant to make the boy aware of his fate and also hesitant to take part in his death. “‘I cannot understand why you refused to come with us to kill that boy,’ he asked Obierika” Okonkwo was aware that the adopted boy from an opposing tribe thought of Okonkwo, not only as an authority figure and high-ranking tribal member/warrior, but also as a father—his father. Until the death of Ikemefuna, Okonkwo continued to show Ikemefuna kindness due to feeling that “his son’s development was due to Ikemefuna.”
Their beliefs are completely opposite each other because of Okonkwo's need to fulfill his own pressures and ideal image, which he burdens himself with. Certain characteristics he holds which his father does not is seriousness, determination, and brutality. Okonkwo cannot move on from his past, instead he forces his future to be effected by his past, which results in his emotional separation from others around him. Oknonkwo describes his father as "lazy, improvident and quite incapable of thinking about tomorrow.
Because Okonkwo did not want to follow in his father’s footsteps as a lazy, gentle, and poor man, he decided to create his own legacy. Some may consider this honorable; but as Okonkwo’s character evolves, it is clear that he is crippled by his own desire to escape his father’s shadow. He envisioned his father as weak but his own mindset in turn has weakened him in many areas. This is the narrative in Chinua Achebe’s Things Fall Apart. The generational traits impact the characterizations of each individual in such a profound way. Okonkwo may have hated the legacy his father left behind but there was no where for him to run away from the bloodline that flowed so heavily through him.
Nwoye is the frequent subject of his father’s criticism and remains emotionally unfulfilled. Ikemefuna comes to fill that void and Nwoye, in his adoration of his adoptive brother, begins to mirror him. Ikemefuna helps Nwoye grow and find his masculinity, which, in turn, helps Okonkwo shift to a gratitude toward his once rejected son. “Okonkwo was inwardly pleased at his son’s development, and he knew it was due to Ikemefuna.” , through this quote we are able to distinguish Okonkwo's feelings toward his son that were once belligerent, now exhibiting acceptance.
In the beginning of the story, Okonkwo’s relationship with his son was strained. Toward the end of the story, Nwoye has left is his family and will never see his father again. The elders of the village put much emphasis on family life and helping fellow clansmen. Okonkwo’s family life had increasingly gone downhill as the story progressed. This book can be related to any family, even though it was written in a different time and place. Family problems affect everyone and this story shows the reader how certain problems are dealt with. I don’t believe, however, that Okonkwo’s family took care of their problems in a productive manner. With better communication, Nwoye’s leaving and Okonkwo’s death may have been prevented.
Although the reader feels remorseful for Okonkwo’s tragic childhood life. It is another reason to sympathize with a man who believes he is powerful and respected by many when in reality, he is feared by his own family and that is another reason that leads Okonkwo to his downfall. He started positive, motivated but down the line, Okonkwo treats his wife and children very harshly. When the author mentioned, “Okonkwo ruled his household with a heavy hand. His wives, especially the youngest, lived in perpetual fear of his fiery temper, and so did his little children” (pg.13).
Nwoye – In the eyes of Okonkwo, his oldest son, Nwoye, is weak and lazy from an early age. He dislikes his father because he beats him so often to make him more masculine. After the death of Ikemefuna, Nwoye becomes very depressed and later converts to the Christian faith, which makes Okonkwo disown him.
Okonkwo sees his father’s gentleness as a feminine trait. He works hard to be as masculine as possible so that he will be the opposite of his father and overcome the shame his father brought to his family. Okonkwo deals with this struggle throughout the entire book, hiding the intense fear of weakness behind a masculine façade (Nnoromele 149). In order to appear masculine, he is often violent. In his desire to be judged by his own worth and not by the worth of his effeminate father, Okonkwo participates in the killing of a boy he sees as a son, even though his friends and other respected tribe members advise him against it. (Hoegberg 71). Even after the killing of Ikamefuna, Okonkwo hides his feelings of sadness because the emotions are feminine to him. He goes so far as to ask himself, “when did you become a shivering old woman” (Achebe 65), while he is inwardly grieving. The dramatic irony of the secret fears that Okonkwo has will open the reader’s eyes to how important gender identity is to him. This theme is also presented among Okonkwo’s children. He sees his oldest son, Nwoye, as feminine because he does not like to work as hard as his father (Stratton 29). When Nwoye eventually joins the Christian church, Okonkwo sees him as even more feminine. On the other hand, Okonkwo’s