Theme Of Marriage Is A Private Affair By Chinua Achebe

Marriage is not always a private affair, but it should be. In Chinua Achebe’s “Marriage is a Private Affair” Nnaemeka, a young Nigerian man is troubled. He has found the woman his heart desires, Nene, and has asked her to be his wife. What should be a joyous occasion is clouded by the despair and heaviness of knowing he will disappoint his family, particularly his father. Nnameka was raised in a culture in which spouses aren’t chosen by the heart’s desire but by the parents of those to wed. Okeke, Nnaemeka’s father, disowns his son and cuts off communication with him after hearing the news that Nnaemeka won’t be marrying the brute of a woman he chose for his son. Okeke does eventually come to his senses and tries to re-establish and rebuild

When most of us, as Americans think of marriage we envision a union of two people who love each other, which is what a marriage should be. However, arranged marriage is still a common practice in cultures around the world. An arranged marriage is one in which marital partners are chosen by elders, religious leaders or, as in Nnaemeka’s case, parents. Theoretically parents know their children best and have the wisdom and means to select the best candidate and their support and encouragement will make the marriage durable and permanent. “Arranged marriages have been around for quite a while. Not only has this form of marriage stood the test of time, even today, in large parts of Africa, Asia, and the Middle East, a significant proportion of all marriages are arranged” (Batabyal). Arranged marriages can be religiously, financially, or socially motivated. In some cases a dowry system has been

Happiness, however, isn’t always everlasting. “In the West, people leave many aspects of their relationships entirely to chance-to the Fates, in effect, who also controlled the futures of most couples we learned about in fairy tales when we were children. In stories such as Sleeping Beauty and Snow White, mysterious forces bring forth a handsome prince to save the day and kiss the damsel and the new couple lives happily ever after, apparently without skills, effort or even compatibility. The stories have been retold and these themes reiterated in hundreds of popular movies over the past century-Sleepless in Seattle, Happily Ever After, Kate and Leopold, and so on. Woven into every aspect of our culture, the idea that the success of our romantic relationships depends on mysterious forces over which we have no control undoubtedly contributes to the gradual decline of those relationships, as well as to a high divorce rate (Epstein). “Given the very high divorce rates in contemporary marriage, it is clear that having complete freedom in choice of marital partner does not guarantee marital success or stability. Having the choice of marital partner determined to some extent by others does not preclude a great deal of success and happiness in marriage. Thus, there must be factors beyond choice of mate that lead to success or failure of marriage. It appears that choices made throughout a marriage have