The ones that got away.

Growing up in an average Nigerian household meant doing chores, and not daring to question why you did them. Sometimes, if our parents were in a good mood we asked why they were so strict. They answered by saying it is “tough love.” Of course no one understood what that meant, so we just looked forward to getting older and moving out of the house. My grandfather was an Ivorian slave herdsman, which meant my dad sometimes went years without seeing his dad. This made him the man of the house at such an early age. This still has an effect on my dad today with him wanting to be the overseer of everything. Through blood, sweat, and tears, both my parents were fortunate enough to go to universities, and move to the city. Therefore they made it very obvious to raise us in the most humbling way one could imagine. My dad is a very principled, egoistic, and strict man. Without my dad’s knowledge we nicknamed him “the boss”. I sometimes imagined if the saying “actions speak louder than words” was written because of him. The only time he speaks is when he needed something to be done. Therefore communicating, and expressing our feelings in the house while he was around was out of the picture. Our house is always quiet as a graveyard.
We were only two children. I always guessed there were more or less of us, but who am I to question. As kids I could remember that my brother had the hardest time getting along with my dad. They would always bump heads because they were both macho men. One day my brother stole a watch from school, and brought it home. That night my dad was filled with so much anger that he had my brother tied up military style. My dad whipped my brother with a traditional cane made from a cow’s skin called koboko. This was a Nort...

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...y brother gone with the wind? Only time will tell. My dad is still feeling betrayed, while my mum on the other is as patient as a turtle. Even if it takes as long as the second coming of Christ she is certain he will return.
My family had lost one child, are they going to loose another? Last time they checked I was 10. How did 8 years go by without their knowledge my mum asked. She still tries to make up for loss time, but it just feels weird. For the first time my dad said he was proud of me, I had not idea what that meant. Those years gone by, and I still had not shed a tear. Gradually I learned how to laugh, but I still cannot smile. Anyone that asks me to describe my family, I would always say “a Prideful disciplined man, the calm and collected mother, the selfish brother, and a daughter who was too much of a man.” Dysfunctional family? I let them be the judge.