The Survival / Coping / Defense Mechanisms

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1. Read page 22-24 describe and discuss some of the survival/coping/defense mechanisms you developed as a child. Are these helping or hindering you now as an adult? Discuss- Some of the coping/ defensive mechanisms I have developed are distracting myself and creating fantasy worlds. Growing up I have been treated very much like the baby of the house. This has led me to not be in the loop of many family problems. I retreated to myself and spend time on my own. This has led me to develop a love for reading and creating stories of my own. Now that I am older I am more included in my families issues, but don’t feel equipped to handle it sometimes. 2. Read pages 25-26 Discuss your needs as a child that may not have been met. Do you continue to expect things in your family to be different. Do you still look for love, affirmation and approval from those that do not have “it” to give? – A need that I did not have as a child was my mother presence. She was there, but she worked all the time. I can’t really remember her in my childhood. I have memories of my dad taking me to school, brushing my hair in the mornings, and ironing my clothes. However, my mom wasn’t in my daily life as much. I wonder how I would be different if she was. Now our relationship is a lot better and we apologized to each other for our past behaviors. I understand now that she was working hard for us and if she could she would have stayed home instead. 3. Read page 26. Create a list of personality traits developed in your childhood that may be an asset to you now. Discuss your strengths and how they serve you and others. – Caring: this is a strength that has taken me to where I am now (school wise/career) Achiever: I go for what I want and work really hard to ge... ... middle of paper ... ...ing everyday). But as I’m writing this I am surprised with myself on my reactions. I didn’t think that I would be judging, because maybe he is truly hurting inside. It really shouldn’t matter if this person is involved with my friend. They are still human and need help to get better. I need to look at addicts from all different perspectives and realize that they are just as human as everybody else. They have fucked up and ruined people along with them, but it doesn’t necessarily mean they don’t deserve our time. As for codependents, I have compassion for them because I can relate to their feelings/thoughts. Maybe not completely, but I can understand where their pain is coming from and why the need to control has become their medicine. With both addicts and codependents, I believe I just need to understand them to build a compassionate approach that will show I care.

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