The Story of Me

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The Story of Me

To continue our family’s ethnic/cultural identity, our parents must teach us the core values of our Eastern Asian culture. The most fundamental of these values regard gender roles and dating—which lead to a gender bias. Children of both sexes are more influenced by the mothers’ attitudes than fathers’ because mothers play the primary socializing agents in the Eastern Asian community.

I am from a fairly strict Vietnamese family. I was born in a refugee camp in Thailand, but ten days after I was born, we came here to the U.S. So I basically grew up here in the States. Growing up, there was my oldest brother (who is 13 years older than me), me, my younger sister, and my youngest brother. In my culture, a sibling that much older tends to have a lot of authority over the younger siblings. So here I am, the oldest daughter, growing up in a strict Vietnamese family with basically three parents. Needless to say, I had a very protected childhood.

If I wasn’t with my mom in the kitchen helping her cook, I was doing other chores around the house. If I wasn’t doing chores around the house, I was with my dad reading a book or going over my spelling words for my weekly spelling tests. Academics is an issue never to be taken lightly.

If I was caught just laying around the house just watching TV or anything that isn’t productive, I can always expect my mom to be close to tisk and say, “What kind of a lazy daughter are you? What would people say if they were to see the oldest daughter in this state?” Public image is very important to them.

My brother, on the other hand, was always out doing something. Be it road trips, camping trips, playing pool—he was just always out. If he was ever home at all, I can only recall him either sprawled out on the couch in from of the TV or on the phone with his friends or his girlfriend.

When I was younger, it didn’t take me long to see all of this as unfair treatment. For me, it was very difficult to have any freedom with my social life. I had a 9’o clock curfew and could only go out with friends whose parents my parents had to know personally.

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