Picture your parents choosing the person you had to be married to. Many years
ago arranged marriages were a huge part of the African and Chinese culture. This
caused much tension between parents and their children. The practicing of arranged
marriages were lost over time. This caused parents to feel betrayed by their
children, when they married whom they desired. In the two stories “Marriage is a
Private Affair” and “Love Must Not Be Forgotten,” the main characters face
challenges’ involving their arranged marriages.
In “Marriage is a Private Affair,” Nnaemeka, the son of Okeke, falls in love with a
woman named Nene, who was not his suitor. (The person his father picked for him)
Okeke felt betrayed because of his son’s decision to marry Nene. Nnaemeka tried
explaining to his father all the qualities Nene had, but Okeke didn’t want to hear it.
Throughout the story Okeke refused to have a relationship with Nnaemeka because
of his decision to marry whom he wanted. Okeke described his son’s actions’ by
saying, “I will not be another Mrs. Ochuba. If my son wants to kill himself, let him do
it with his own hands. It is not for me to help him.” Because Nnaemeka did not have
communication with his father he sent his father a picture of his and Nene’s
wedding day picture. Okeke sent back a letter telling Nnaemeka how disrespectful it
was to send him a picture of himself and Nene together. He cut the picture in two
sending back the part with Nene on it.
The relationship between Okeke and his son was nonexistent for eight years.
Okeke did not change his mind about his son’s marriage. He still found it disgraceful,
though others were beginning to accept non-arranged marriages. One day Nene ...
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Okeke accepts that he was to harsh on his son’s decisions and regrets not getting to
be apart of his son’s life. Shanshan also grasps the meaning of love and what it
means to her. She decides to be single till she falls in love. As Shanshan says, “Maybe
because law and morality would have bound us together. But how tragic simply to
comply with law and morality! Was there no stronger bond to link us?” What
Shanshan says definitely makes sense that marriage should be based on love and
not just certain qualifications. The characters end up challenging their societies by
acknowledging the real meaning of marriage. That’s love.
Works Cited
Achebe, Chinua. Marriage Is a Private Affair. Evanston: McDougal Littell Inc, 2002.
Textbook.
Jie, Zhang. Love Must Not Be Forgotten. Evanston: McDougal Littell Inc, 2002.
Textbook.
Unfortunately, his father is highly upset and disowns him. Despite this, Nnemeka and Nene get married and have two sons together. The boys often ask about their grandfather, so Nene comes up with a plan to write to Okeke. Okeke, who had been absent from their lives, finally has a change of heart and regrets his actions. He visits his son and his family, realizing that the past traditions and generations he was living in are not the same as the ones Nnemeka is living in.
Unfortunately, everything is not perfect. His son, Nwoye, seems not to be showing the characteristics of a real man. He prefers to stay with his mother, listening to women's stories, than to listen to his father's tales of battle and victory. Later, when missionaries come to the tribe, Nwoye is attracted to their Christian religion because of its unqualified acceptance of everyone, much like a mother's unqualified love. Of this, Okonkwo r...
Okonkwo’s fear of becoming like his lackadaisical father is an internal conflict between Okonkwo and his father. “Okonkwo’s fear was greater than these. It was not external but lay deep within himself, lest he should be found to resemble his father.” (Achebe 13). Okonkwo tries to live his life, ideally from his father.
Nwoye’s relationship with his father differs and is also similar to the relationship Ikemefuna has with Okonkwo. In a brief explanation the relationship differs because, Ikemefuna is allowed and welcome to the family of Okonkwo when he merely is property of the village, and is disguised to be a son in acting in feast and ceremonies when Okonkwo invites him to tag along. On the contrary, despite of the well treatment Ikemefuna receives hes is still threatened by Okonkwo and gets the heavy hand as everybody else. As previously said everything is done for a reason and Okonkwo simply refuses to have another person to have the same characteristics and personality of his father, he might not be admired by all be he is a sympathetic
This quote shows that Okonkwo is really sympathetic and how he has a liking ness to some children for different reasons. This also shows how Okonkwo is not a heartless man and actually cares for his children. “He therefore treated Ikemefuna as he treated everybody else - with a heavy hand. But there was no doubt that he liked the boy.” (Achebe Ch 4) This shows that Okonkwo even shows sympathy to those that are not related to him. Ikemefuna came in as a prisoner but later ended up becoming apart of Okonkwo's family.
Okonkwo’s fear leads him to treat members of his family harshly, in particular his son, Nwoye. Okonkwo often wonders how he, a man of great strength and work ethic, could have had a son who was “degenerate and effeminate” (133). Okonkwo thought that, "No matter how prosperous a man was, if he was unable to rule his women and his children (and especially his women) he was not really a man" (45).
From birth Okonkwo had wanted his son, Nwoye, to be a great warrior like him. His son instead rebelled and wanted to be nothing like Okonkwo. Okonkwo would not change so that his son would idolize him, as he had wanted since his son's birth. He chose not to acknowledge his son's existence instead. This would weigh heavily on anyone's conscience, yet Okonkwo does not let his relationship with his son affect him in the least bit.
develop a sense of self- awareness. Overall, Okonkwo failed in his quest to raise his son uprightly lost his
Okonkwo’s inability to accept his failure displays how he is beginning to be cajoled by his masculinity, losing touch with his cultural expectations to act on his need to assert his position as a
In the novel Things Fall Apart, the parents have positive and negative effects on the people around them. Okonkwo has very little self control over the things he does. But even though Okonkwo has little self control and may make mistakes, he also has positive effects on Nwoye his son and people close in his life. He also has negative effects on Nwoye which cause permanent damage in his relationship with him. Along with the mistakes Okonkwo has made, there has been people who have also influenced him to have good intentions and bad intentions, like his father.
Their beliefs are completely opposite each other because of Okonkwo's need to fulfill his own pressures and ideal image, which he burdens himself with. Certain characteristics he holds which his father does not is seriousness, determination, and brutality. Okonkwo cannot move on from his past, instead he forces his future to be effected by his past, which results in his emotional separation from others around him. Oknonkwo describes his father as "lazy, improvident and quite incapable of thinking about tomorrow.
In the Igbo world, family seems not as crucial as the modern world, at least Okonkwo does not care too much about all family members. Okonkwo’s first son named Nwoye, supposed be act like his father, is causing Okonkwo great anxiety. Instead of teaching him to be a real warrior, he does not spend a lot of time to train his son. He fear Nwoye will become his nightmare, Okonkwo’s father, and Okonkwo also afraid to teach Nwoye by himself. As a result, Nwoye grows up with his mother. Since Okownkwo is too timid to undertake raising responsibility, his son became the man as similar as Okownkwo’s father. Okownwo himself does not impute his mistakes about raising his son to his fear. Consequently, he blames his son to become a coward. During the exile, Okownwo is planning to help his other two sons to earn their titles and consider his daughters marriages. If Nwoye does not join the white people, Okownkwo will still give up on him. Even a criminal has his second chance, why Nwoye can not? Okownkwo is surrounded by his own fear, because he knows he is lack of ability to persuade his son to become a real warrior in the Igbo world. As a result, he chose the simplest way to avoid trouble, deserting his first son. In the whole story, Okownkwo never mentions about his mother’s name, though he is aware of mother is supreme. Okownkwo also ask his daughter to marry in his father’s village instead of his mother’s. Ikemefuna has not any blood connection with Okownkwo’s family, but he helps Okonkwo’s family a lot, he could be called a half family member in Okownkwo’s family. Someone thinks Ikemefuna could be a potential menace to the whole clan, so Okownkwo choose to believe Ikemefuna will cause a lot of problem in the future. No matter how much Ikemefuna contribute to this family, Okownkwo choose to kill him. After killing Ikemefuna, Okownkwo regrets and suffers. He fear to break the
When we think of marriage, the first thing that comes to mind is having a lasting relationship. Marriage is a commitment of two people to one another and to each other?s family, bonded by holy matrimony. When a couple plans to marry, they think of raising a family together, dedicating their life to each other. That?s the circle of life--our natural instinct to live and produce children and have those children demonstrate your own good morals. I have never been married; but I don?t understand why when two people get married and vow to be together for richer and poorer, better or worse, decide to just forget about that commitment. A marriage should be the most important decision a person makes in his or her life.
“Unuoka, the grown up, was a failure. He was poor and his wife and children had barely enough to eat.” (p. 57) And for these reasons Okonkwo became fixated with proving his worth to the Igbo people. Luckily for him “a man was judged according to his
Okonkwo thought that if you can't control your wives and your children, especially your wife then you are not a man. So he had two sons Ikemefuna and Nwoye, Ikemefuna was an adopted son but Okonkwo still had feelings for him like a real son. He also thought that Ikemefuna was a good role model for Nwoye and made him stronger. That is until Okonkwo killed