The Monsters Inside Me

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In my Painting 2 class, which I took in the fall of 2012, my instructor Chris Finley suggested to me that I, being an aspiring and acting art teacher, apply my curricula to myself. So I thought back to my most successful lesson, “Aaagh! Monsters!” In that class, I asked my students, ages 5 through 8 year olds, to create a monster of their own. We did a little research into the monsters other people had created in books, in other appropriate visual media, and throughout history. I then asked them to tell me specific things about their monsters like their names, where they lived, what they ate, and so on, so that they could gain a better understanding of who or what their monsters were and be able to depict them more clearly. The children loved creating something new and distinctly their own. It was a success for me because, for the first time, I had parents coming to me to tell me that their child was so excited to come to my class that day.

However, when it came to applying this same concept to myself, I found that I kept drifting off into darker, non-childlike ideas. Then I came upon a quote that stated so eloquently, “we stopped checking for monsters under the bed when we realized they were inside of us,” and it clicked. Unlike the children’s monsters, my monsters were things inside of me. I let myself delve into the emotions and psychological states of being that haunted me the most and came upon a realization that these were my monsters. Therefore, I let them speak to me in a way that I had never really experienced before. It became apparent that I was nothing more than a vessel for their introduction to the outside world. This awareness got me thinking about what other people’s monsters eat, where they live, and what t...

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...city addressed the cultural fears about scientists playing God. In Bram Stoker’s 1897 novel Dracula, the main character Dracula is a vampire portrayed as a monstrous creature who is also enticing and charismatic with the intent on claiming innocence for his own and perverting it to feed his own base needs. Vampires, such as Dracula signified the fears about he breakdown of traditional moral values, fears about sexuality, and fears about moving away from religion to a more secular worldview. Stoker’s novel also played off of the fears of foreigners or the “others” by being based on the real-life monster whose cruel reputation transformed him into the renowned 15th century Romanian leader Vlad the Impaler.

VI. Question Five: How do those monsters affect us individually, both psychologically and emotionally?

VII. Conclusion: What did I learn?

inconveniencing

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