The Monster Inside of Me

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My stomach clenched. It was the middle of the night when I first felt it and as I dragged my limp body to the toilet my thoughts went straight to it. “What if I have it?” I questioned myself over and over. My body curled over with pain, I thought about what my kids would have to go through if they didn’t have a mother or my husband without a wife. I tried to push these thoughts to the back of my head, but they seemed to stay. It had been doing this for some time now almost a week. The next morning the pain had subdued but it was still there. I kiss my kids foreheads and told them I loved them when they got on that bright yellow school bus. My husband, Steven, had already gone to work. He works at the mill from sunrise to sunset to make just enough money to get by; you see we are a really poor family but we all love each other and know how much we can spend. After I called sick to work I just sat there with the pain rippling throughout my body just wishing it wasn’t what I thought. I turned on the TV to take my mind off of those horrible thoughts. Of course the news didn’t help.
“This pandemic has nearly killed three hundred people within North America and with an estimated one thousand and fifty infected. No one knows where it came from but Doctors and Scientists have been working around the clock for a vaccine. For now doctors advise you to wash your hands and go and get your flu shot if you haven’t already.”
I switched the TV off and went to grab an ibuprofen. Lucky the kids had gotten them through school. Steven and I had only enough to pay for one so I gave it up to him since most of our money comes from him. I shrugged on my ratty coat and looked around for the extra money but only finding little. So I le...

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...e. “I haven’t been one hundred percent honest with you and I think it’s time now to finally tell you the truth.” My heart pounded as I feared he had lost his job. “I also have the disease. I found out two weeks ago but I also didn’t want to stress you. So now I’m on high drugs keeping me from showing signs of it. That’s where all of our extra money has been going.”
My heart stopped. Both my husband and I have the disease. My mind went blank but how did Steven get infected I wondered. “Didn’t you get the flu shot?” I accused.
“I didn’t I spent the money on most of the drugs. I was one of the first people to have it babe.” He looked at the ground.
Right then as on cue my children busted out of their rooms tears streaming down their faces. I knew that they had heard everything. I let them hug me, their arms seem to crush my bones but I know it was worth it.

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