This paper describes flirtation today and how flirtation has evolved. Based on several forms of research, this paper will explain studies concerning how people flirt, why they do it, and the theories behind it. It is stated that not only does flirting increase your chances of getting a date; it also improves your interpersonal skills at the work place. Researchers also came to the conclusion that there are many forms of flirting, some you may have never thought to be flirting cues. For example, the occasional hand to the shoulder move when you think someone has said something funny, may be perceive as a flirtatious action. Lastly, this paper will discuss effective and ineffective flirting styles along with how men and women’s views on flirting vary from each other.
The Various Styles of Flirting
What motivates a person to flirt? According to research conducted by professor David Henningsen in 2008, there are six different situations in which an individual is likely to engage in flirting. Although men and women do their fair share of flirting, the opposing sexes perceive flirting very differently. It has been recognized that men perceive flirtation as more of a sexual innuendo rather that simply a friendly gesture (Henningsen, 2008). In this text, many motivations that trigger flirting will be discussed along with will be collated from several different aspects including motivation, purposes, and effectiveness.
Several studies have been made to explain why people flirt. According to Belinda Luscombe, one of the reasons people flirt is because they have no control over it, whether by biology or culture we are programmed to flirt (Luscombe, 2008). Jeffry Simpson, professor at the University of Minnesota states, “A ...
... middle of paper ...
...ometimes disastrous acts that one should contemplate before pursuing (Henningsen, 2004). Overall, flirting will always be a part of our society and is an important concept that people need to be educated about.
Works Cited
Goudreau, J. (2011). When Flirting Goes Wrong. Forbes.com, 41.
Hall, J. A., Carter, S., Cody, M. J., & Albright, J. M. (2010). Individual Differences in the Communication of Romantic Interest: Development of the Flirting Styles Inventory. Communication Quarterly, 58(4), 365-393. doi:10.1080/01463373.2010.524874
Henningsen, D. (2004). Flirting With Meaning: An Examination of Miscommunication in Flirting Interactions. Sex Roles, 50(7/8), 481-489.
Henningsen, D., Braz, M., & Davies, E. (2008). WHY DO WE FLIRT? Journal of Business Communication, 45(4), 483-502.
Luscombe, B. (2008). Why We Flirt. (Cover story). Time, 171(4), 62-65.
Karbo Karen. "Friendship: The Laws of Attraction." Psychology Today 39.6 (2006): 90-95. EBSCOhost. Web. 18 Feb. 2014.
Even some online dating sites set their matchmaking complementarity philosophy. A few have been so confident enough to say these websites are correct because compatibility gets “boring’. These types of relationships in the world of psychology are called interpersonal relationships, and according to most psychologists, they are more likely to fail then work in the long-term.Homophily, which greek roots translate “to a love of same”, protrudes that people with similar attitudes tend to form bonds or attractions. The majority of psychologists agree that if two people are similar in a romantic relationship, that is a good indicator that they will be more stable and happy together,especially in a marital
Seduction works on a deeper level than mere attraction. It is persistent and though it uses flattery to entice, its core purpose is manipulation.
Interpersonal communication is everywhere in society, both in the past, present, and the future. “Marty,” a love story, and a movie made in the fifties, shows many examples of interpersonal communication. In this movie, the main character, Marty, is a decent, socially awkward man who is pressured by his peers and family to find love and get married. He then gets fed up and goes to a club in town and meets a woman named Claire, who is in similar circumstances to him. Marty and Claire then interact and spend time together and Marty experiences companionship for the first time.
Adler, R. B., Rosenfeld, L. B., & Proctor, R. F. (2013). Interplay The Prrocess of Interpersonal Communication. New York: Oxford University Press, Inc.
The film, The Breakfast Club, is an impressive work of art, addressing almost every aspect of interpersonal communication. This is easily seen here, as I’ve gone through and shown how all these principles of interpersonal communication apply to real-life, using only two short interpersonal interactions from the movie. I’ve explained aspects of interpersonal communication, nonverbal communication, verbal misunderstandings, communication styles, gender issues, and self-disclosures. With that said, I believe I have demonstrated my ability to apply principles of interpersonal communication with simulated real-life examples.
Cupach, W. R., & Spitzberg, B. H. (2004). The dark side of relationship pursuit: from attraction to obsession and stalking. Mahwah, NJ: Lawrence Erlbaum Associates.
Communication between males and females has always been somewhat complicated. Because we are arguing that males and females have different cultures we wanted to take a look at what some of these differences might be. According to our research the inherent differences between male and female culture are the different roles that society holds for them and the ways these roles lead to different communication styles. The stereotypes that men and women grow up with affect the types of ways in which they communicate. We first wanted to take a look at how they specifically differ while men and women are arguing or having normal conversations. We also looked at the different types of networks that men and women share. These networks also differ and as do the reasonings for their formation. Although we do not think that men and women need to change their cultures to effectively communicate, we do think that better communication is possible. One of the researchers we took a look at was Deborah Tannen. According to Tannen the reason that men and women do not communicate well is that men and women use language differently. Women take the attitude that conversation is to explore solutions to common problems while men concern themselves more with getting information and hard data from conversation. Tannen states that what women look for in communication is human connection, while men consider status to be most important. They are looking for independence and are constantly looking for higher accomplishments. Intimacy threatens this independence, so men have a tendency to avoid it. One of the old sayings about women is that they talk more than men. It turns out that it is not necessarily true. Women seem to talk more in private conversations than do men. Women do not generally have a fear of intimacy and therefore are much more open with one another during private conversations. It is more difficult for women to use this type of communication style in the public arena. In that case it is men that do most of the talking. Tannen ultimately argues that men use communication as a weapon. They use long explanations to command attention from who it is they are speaking to. They use it to convey information and to ultimately gain agreement. Tannen suggests that through even simple conversation men are continually protecting their status. She sugg...
Although Summer consistently showed signs of her stance on love and relationships, Tom interpreted her feelings as those of romance. Communication can be ambiguous to the point that the existence of conflicts will be guaranteed. Tom and Summer’s relationship inevitably fell to its demise due this ambiguity and incompatibility, an occurrence that I have experienced myself. Since I come from a high-context culture, it is preferred by society to keep to myself and avoid directness. From this, I had often hoped that my partner would be able to pick up on my nonverbal behaviors much more effectively than they did. This assumption that others are like us is a debilitative tendency. For this reason, I believe that Tom should have established his feelings more directly towards Summer instead of letting his actions speak. Since people have different perceptions of life values, it is important to gauge the understanding of the other person and have a mutual boundary set within a relationship. However vague communication can be, communication serves as a significant function within our relationships and our
"Interpersonal attraction refers to positive feelings about another person. It can take many forms, including liking, love, friendship, lust, and admiration" (spark notes). Sometimes these kinds of relationships can happen between individuals that people meet throughout their daily lives. For any relationship to exist or last,last there has to be effective communication. Communication is a major factor used to either build up or tear down interpersonal relationships. Also, having effective listening skills helps the relationship become stronger. In the movie, 50 First Dates, there are many instances where interpersonal relationships are illustrated. This paper will discuss the different types of interpersonal relationships that are found in the movie, as well as how important communication is in a relationship to keep that bond strong and last.
How to Flirt With a Woman & Leave Her Wanting To Be With You : Flirting Tips for MenThe funny thing about flirting is, it’s seen as such a ‘natural’ skill, that most guys think that they’ve it down pat. No matter how many times that they try to flirt with a woman and she ends up feeling nothing at all in the attraction department, they still kind of think that they already know all there is to know about the subject. Truth is, flirting is a skill and like any skill, it takes both experience and a little trial and error to get it right. The problem with all of that trial and error is, it can leave you feeling unconfident if you keep on ‘striking out’ with women. So, you probably aren’t too keen on the idea of trying to figure it all out on your own and having to deal with letdowns and rejections just to try and get it right.
A simple smile, a gazing stare, a firm hand shake or just an unpretentious hello are all forms of communication. While it is essential to the coexistence of the human race, communication is the one thing that is common amongst people of all cultures. Crapo (2013) explained that communication is transference of a philosophies and information from one person to another by ones actions, gestures, and words (Human communication, para.1). Although people use different avenues to express their thoughts and ideas, intercultural communication can be misconstrued when learning to understand different customs. For example, in America, it is not unusual to be convinced that a smile represents happiness. On the other hand, in the Japanese culture, a smile is a mask to conceal their emotions from others. According to the Association for Psychological Science in a press release (2010), researcher Akihiro Tanaka quoted, “… Japanese people tend to hide their negative emotions by smiling, but it’s more difficult to hide negative emotions in the voice” (para.4). Nonetheless, one can interconnect with another person by the use of nonverbal or verbal communication. However, in a comparison of Japanese and Arabian cultures, one can comprehend the dynamics of body language and proxemics and how nonverbal communication is portrayed in modern society and business world by exploring the etiquettes of each culture.
Flirting in real life is hard for many women and men, but there is an easier way. Online flirting is the way for anyone who is shy and does not want to flirt in public. They can flirt in private without ever having to be seen (if they do not want to). Online flirting is the big stage before a relationship either goes over into a real world relationship or before it turns into an online relationship. Flirting is what generally is used to get known to somebody and then later, of course, to arouse somebody.
Theiss, J.A., & Solomon, D.H. (2008). Parsing the mechanisms that increase relational intimacy: the effects of uncertainty amount, open communication about uncertainty, and the reduction of uncertainty. Human Communication Research, 34(4), 625-654. doi: 10.1111/j.1468-2958.2008.00335.x
Reciprocity of liking has been noted as one of the fundamental principles of romantic attraction and is perhaps the strongest indicator of a successful relationship (Reis, Maniaci, Caprariello, Eastwick, & Finkel, 2011, p. 557). An experiment was conducted at a university in the United States in which a female participant sat in front of a number of male participants and listened attentively to each of them whilst making eye contact and generally acting very friendly with them. Despite the female disagreeing on various issues with the males, the general interest in her from the males increased after their discussions (Gold, Ryckman, & Mosley, 1984, p. 360).... ... middle of paper ...