The Invisible Change

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When I was in eighth grade I was in a comfortable relationship with a boy, call him Matt. However, I eventually realized that something about the relationship was not fulfilling or satisfying me and I was reminded of this feeling every time he wrote and gave me a love letter or gave me an expensive piece of jewelry. After five months of being in a relationship with Matt, I broke off the relationship, without much suffering on my part and as I entered my freshman year, I was eager to find Mr. Right. With this experience fresh in my mind, I was presented and read the novel, Pride and Prejudice. After delving into it, I almost automatically loved the novel because I could truly relate to the main character, Elizabeth. As I look back on why I basically instantaneously connected with Lizzy, I realized it was at first because she was a young girl who “had a lively, playful disposition, which delighted in anything ridiculous", much like myself (9). But, in addition to seeing her as someone I would become friends with in real life, I also related to Lizzy’s relationship with the foot solider, Wickham. When I read that the narrator describes Wickham, “of most gentlemanlike appearance,” and “was the happy man towards whom almost every female eye was turned”, I was immediately reminded of Matt (52). Wickham paid Lizzy a lot of attention and although she enjoyed this special attention, once her fancy quitted down, she realized she did not nor ever would love him. It was after reading and watching Lizzy realization occur, that I was able to conclude that the unfulfilling feeling I was experiencing when I was in my relationship with Matt was due to the inequality of the relationship; I did not feel as much passion towards Matt as he did towards...

... middle of paper ..., and giving person Darcy turned into, if I opened myself up to others, accepted my vulnerability, and be honest with myself by realizing and accepting how I feel. This is an invaluable lesson that I have already learned and work to attain it everyday.
Overall, I personally think the transformation of myself-understanding that has been caused by relating to Lizzy and Darcy has allowed me to develop more stable, happier relationships with others. By making improvements on my character, like being honest and not judgmental towards others, I have changed how I act and am perceived by others. Because of this, I have ultimately become a happier person, since I have developed a closer relationship with my own self. I know that I will be a cheerier person if I can continue to stay aware of my self; consequently, I will be able to confidently open myself up to others.

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