The Importance Of Personal Relationships

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Part of being human is the prospect of intimate relationships with those that we come in contact with. Each one of us has a mixture of feelings towards those that we 're intimate with and learning to tolerate ambivalence is an essential part of the process of growing up. One person that I have strong conflicting feelings towards is my girlfriend of three years, Kourtney Milling. These ambivalent feelings are not from a lack of love, but from the everyday struggles that come with this intimate of a relationship with another human being. Never before have I found someone, besides family members, that I have found to be so unbelievably amazing and frustrating at the same time. In my eyes, Kourtney is one of a kind. She is everything that I aspire …show more content…

I often get angry at little things, worry about things that are unrealistic or have yet to happen, and find myself pushing away those that are closest to me. Personally, I have always struggled with my emotions and my automatic reactivity. I have always been self-conscious and well aware of the judgmental ways that others look at me. Growing up I often found myself holding back and acting the way that I thought others wanted me to act. Whether this was trying to fit in during my younger school years, working towards what I thought would make my parents happy, or even holding back my true personality for fear that I would not be accepted by my peers. Kourtney, on the other hand, is not any of these …show more content…

I used to believe that if I didn 't get too close to someone, that they would not be able to hurt me. No one in the past has stuck around quite long enough to know the real me. However, my time with Kourtney has shown that keeping this emotional distance from her is impossible. Kourtney has shown me what it is like to be loved and although I know her to love me with her entire heart, this hasn’t stopped me from letting my emotions get the best of me at times. Sometimes I find that I have feelings of not being good enough and not worthy of love. Often times this has to do with my anxious and depressive thoughts, and even though I know that these thoughts aren’t necessarily facts, it is still hard not to act on them. Often times this means lashing out at Kourtney, causing unnecessary fights, and thus, causing conflict and ambivalence on my part. Despite my reactivity, Kourtney is always quick to show me that I am loved, worthy, and an amazing human

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