Let’s just say it didn’t go well and my parents said I could not be with him nor see him, ever. They really didn’t give him a chance and I was falling in love with him so guess what I did? I continued seeing him, being with him, and sneaking around with him. I went a while without getting caught but after a few months of course my parents found out and of course I was in some deep trouble again. My parents threatened to take some very valuable things out of my life.
My father left us when I was only two years old. My mother always spoke ill of him and told me that I was better off not knowing who he was. For some reason I think he would have stayed if it wasn’t for the responsibility of taking care of me and I think that my mother knew that as well. My childhood years were occupied mainly by making excuses for the numerous injuries that my mother forced upon me every day because some part of me still cared about my mother, and I never wanted her to be in trouble, or maybe perhaps more logically, I was too scared. In my teenage years, most of my time was spent in school, and after I left there I would come home to a strung out mother that would be ranting and raving about dishes that needed to be done and telling me about how I was her biggest mistake, and that I was nothing but a lazy, hopeless loser, which I knew wasn’t true, but when you are a child the thoughts just run through your head over and over like a bad dream that you cannot wake up from.
I remember doing things my way because I couldn’t trust anyone to follow through with the task I gave them in group projects. In addition, I was afraid to talk about my parent’s divorce because no one in my circle of friends at school went through the same condition I did. My parent’s divorce led me to having trust issues and made it hard to confide in anyone. I usually don’t feel alone. I had a great deal of friends and a large family.
I was born to a teenage mother where physical abuse between my mother and father had been present. Though my mother had been caring and loving towards me, eventually my father had become absent because he desired to be with a family he created during my parent’s marriage. By the time I was five-years-old he had become completely absent from my life. Due to the witnessing of the abuse my father had done to my mother, I had become a child who could not count on others being kind or caring in my life which caused me to become weary of others around me. I had projected my insecurities on other people especially when my mother had started to date other men as I was afraid of any man my mother started dating, I mistrusted men, and pushed people away because I was afraid they would leave me.
Admit it, we can’... ... middle of paper ... ...we started dating each other. I got bored about him since we do the same matters everyday and I found someone that can complete my happiness. We quarreled a lot because I disappointed him. I don’t meet his expectations for me such as to be a good girlfriend and I think he deserves better. Not talking to him for a week changed our relationship; we became strangers and I uttered lies excuses for one week.
One time I was going to stop playing sports just to go mess around with my gangster friends and she wouldn’t let me. My mom cause she would spank me every time I got in trouble doing dumb things. She would always care for me and didn’t let me get too crazy. She would always make me come to school because she thinks having an education is the most important thing so I thank showed me how to take care of myself.
I never understood the effect that this had on me until recently. My mom tended to get mad at life and take it out on my little sister and me by beating us. From third to ninth grade I lived an awkward life. I grew apart from my mother and sister; I hardly talked to anyone for that matter. One thing I was close with was my grades, I knew that education was the one thing no one would be able to take away from me.
The only way I became a better person is because I had to have someone push me down in order for me to rise back up. Throughout my life, I was constantly nagged on and pushed down by people because they did not believe I would have the ability to be successful and finish my education. My parents have always doubted my abilities to become academically successful, because of the way I act at home. Since grade school till this day, they have told me that I would not make it and I need to change, but I have proved them wrong, like when I finished Elementary, Middle, and High School. The times I had to prove to them, was in grade school when they got mad at me for getting an achievement award, then in middle school when they would constantly push me to do my homeland school work, and in high school when I did
His brother, Tony was a drug dealer who wish he could go back in time and make the right decisions and he wanted Wes to be different than him. He didn’t want his brother to end up like him and even after he tried everything to keep Wes away from drugs, nothing worked and he gave up. As you can see, both families are very different, Wes (the author) has a family who wants him to have a bright future. Most importantly, a family who responds fast because right after his mother saw him falling down the wrong hill she didn’t hesitate to do something about it. The other Wes isn’t as lucky, as I believe since his mother already had so much pressure over keeping her job and her son Tony being involved in drugs.
Jacob was still at the end of the hall. There always will be regrets when I look back at my childhood, but the day I succumbed to peer pressure and abused another person just to be cool is something I deeply regret. What makes me feel worse is that no one asked for me to threaten Jacob, I did it on my own will. I was so desperate for everyone else’s friendship I was willing to hurt Jacob to be friends with everyone else. Friends that were willing to ditch me just because I talked to someone they didn’t like.