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The Importance Of Emotional Intelligence In Marriage

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According to John Gottman, emotional intelligence is the key of a successful marriage, with the argument being that a person who is more in touch with emotions is likely to get along well with other people. The same principle applies in successful marriages. A couple that is emotionally intelligent can understand, honor and have respect for one another and their marriage. Gottman says that we aren’t born with emotional intelligence. It is learnt over a long time. In addition, emotional intelligence plays a role in helping couples to recognize the value of marriage, which is the key to a successful marriage. Gottman says that unhappy marriages are characterized by psychological arousal. Gottman says that successful conflict resolution does not…show more content…
This principle is the knowledge of the spouse’s small memories in life. This is the creation of a connection, which is a requirement for a healthy relationship. It is important for a husband and wife to connect, which means that they are turning towards one another, and this only achieved by the reflecting of minor times that are spent together connecting. The result of this is that partners will feel valued and appreciated by their partner. Gottman says that turning toward each other forms the foundation of emotional linking, passion, romance and an enjoyable sex life among couples. In addition, turning toward each other unites partners so that they can face the rough times in their marriage. According to Gottman, emotional reconnection is achieved through the little everyday things that make your spouse feel appreciated and valued (Gottman,…show more content…
Maintaining one’s identity is important in the relationship. However, it is also important for a person to make room for influence from their spouse. Gottman says that if spouses can make room for influence, it will create respect at a deeper level. This is usually effective in addressing cases associated with the difficulties due to partners being unwilling to share power (Gottman, 1999). Gottman argues that cases of happiest marriages are when there is sharing of power and decision-making. It is important that couples should not accept influence as expressing negative feelings towards one’s spouse. Holding back negative feelings from your partner is not good for a successful marriage. A significant element is that a relationship needs a firm basis for compromising. In addition, spouses should be able to learn from each other in order to build a healthy relationship. Involving one’s partner in important decision-making results in the development of a marriage that is made by couples who are intelligent