The Importance Of Conflict Management

Having a confrontation or getting into a conflict is something that most of us would avoid at all costs. The concept of using conflict as an opportunity or using it to our advantage isn’t something that normally comes to our minds as we think about conflict or better yet while where actually in a conflict. This is absolutely the contrary, as we get into conflict everyday. If we don’t see conflict as an opportunity to learn more about the other person and more about how we handle conflict in general, then the only option for dealing with them would be to completely withdraw. Imperfections within relationships are handled in two ways. Constructively and destructively, but the way we go about repairing the conflict is just as important as

According to Payne and Sabourin (1990), Wolf (2015) and Knapp and Vangelisti (2009) destructive conflict management is manifested specific behaviors that don’t lead towards the progressing trough the conflict. One of those patterns laid out is criticism. My relationships criticism takes the form of a cross complaining loop, which is essentially making complaints back and forth to counter the others complaint. This can lead towards escalation of the transgression and doesn’t seem to lead to anything productive. The most common pattern of destructive conflict management behavior within my relationship is cross complaining. My friend Vik is the type of person who is on their phone 24/7 and because I am the exact opposite, he easily gets frustrated with my punctuality over my responses either for calls or texts. My response to this frustration is almost always, “I’m sorry, maybe if you had something to do or a life, you wouldn’t care so much and might even understand why I don’t respond as quickly as you”. This behavior is unproductive to the problem, which is the fact that he has an issue with my punctuality and that my response is to criticism him. This behavior can only lead to the decay of our relationship and further escalates the already existent tension created by my punctuality. The way I handled this conflict was deconstructive and that was shown every time he brought up my punctuality in regards to my

As Paleari, Regalia and Fincham (2011) stated in their article, Inequity in Forgiveness, the well being of the Relationship is directly correlated with ones ability to receive and grant forgiveness. Even though this model is designed around marital relationships, in my experience it holds validity to platonic relationships as well. In my relationship with my best friend Vik, we get into transgression on a weekly basis. Even though the conflict is inevitable, the fact that there has never been one transgression that we weren’t able to gain some sort of common understanding on is the very reason that were are such good friends and will remain friends. One of the ways that transgressions can be repaired according to Wolf (2015) is through forgiveness. During the major transgression mentioned above, the reparation of the transgression took the form of the remedial exchange. The steps of the remedial exchange include initially challenging or calling attention to the transgression. This happened that night when my friend confronted me about not calling him after we had made plans. The second step is offering or the transgressor acknowledging the violation. This happened when I initially apologized and made attempts to explain how the transgression manifested. The third step is acceptance or the offended accepting the transgressors offering. This happened when my friend received that information