The Ideal Life

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The Ideal Life

I awake to the sounds of bacon sizzling and eggs frying. It is another wonderful, lazy Saturday morning breakfast. This weekend is like so many others, and yet it is unique in and of itself. The shadows on the floor coalesce to form the german shepherd, Hg, we once rescued. Then, like Mercury himself, the shadows disperse leaving nothing but emptiness where he once was. "Breakfast!" comes the call from the kitchen. "Coming," I respond, fully intending not to. I remain where I am, reminiscing about the past, about elementary particles, about how I've reached the point where I now am, and about who I was 10 years ago.

I've never wanted my life to stand out much. I've never dreamed of winning the race, scoring the goal, or saving the day. I don't mind at all having the appearance of just another faceless mass in a crowd, because I am so much more than anything anyone could catch in a glimpse. Not that I think I'm special or anything, since there are very few people who one can know instantaneously. Spending the time and energy to make an impression on people I will never again see is not normally my style. I care much more for the depth of a single relationship than the mind-numbing breadth of a multitude. This attitude has both saved me from pain and caused extra. Not making the effort to reach out to people leaves me in my own isolated world, sparing me from the feelings of rejection and boredom which my brushes with society have caused me. It also

strengthens the ties with those few whom I choose to develop real, lasting relationships. However, purposefully secluding myself from others leaves me vulnerable when I do decide to open myself up. Since I do it so rarely, the times when I approach others and f...

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...m to. I know that I'm headed in the right direction, and that the future will, much like the past has, supply what I need for a happy life. I've already found the most important and difficult part of my ideal life. I have a great friend whom I've known for the past 10 years and who will continue to be there in the future. Beyond this though, I have found my lifelong companion. I have found my perfect soulmate, with whom I can relax and be myself. I can open up to her and say anything at all. Knowing that this wonderful woman knows who I am, and at a fundamental level accept everything about me, frees me to be the best that I can.

"Daddy," my little one squeaks, trying to pull me with her, "Breakfast is ready. C'mon! !" It's just another lazy Saturday morning and it is time to move on with my life. Reminiscing can be fun, but there is life to live in the present.

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