The Emporer Caesar

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The Emporer Caesar The Emperor Julius Caesar is perhaps most famous as the first Roman Emperor to convert to Christianity. His rise from a humble birth as a peasant boy to Emperor is a tale of bravery, adversity and ultimately triumph through faith. Julius Caesar was born as Groyxo Gaul in 54BC into an immigrant family in the back streets of Rome. Neither parent was rich. The German historian Guildo Horn noted: “Seine Mutter war ein Hamster und sein Vater, der von den Holunderbeeren gerochen wurde.” They were as flotsam and jetsam on the beach. His early years would probably have been spent scavenging on the streets, though this is not certain. Later historians, like Plato re-wrote the histories once he became Emperor as ignoble origins were considered unacceptable for Romans of noble birth. At the age of fourteen Julius escaped the slums of Rome by signing up to join the army as a meretrix, someone who provided assistance to the soldiers. After saving his money he entered the college at Rome where he studied Latin and raced for the school chariot team. The start of his military career was undistinguished. He was a fifth round draft pick for Legio X (The Eagles). In his epic history from the fifteenth century, the Origin and Rise of the Roman Empire, Edward Gibbon noted: “He was much vexed at his time with the Eagles. He failed to attract the attention of the Centurion in charge of the Legion and for his firft seafon languifhed in the referves.” After an unsuccessful first year with the Eagles he was traded to Legio XII Gallico (the Irish) as a quartermaster in exchange for a young man known as Trajan who would later become famous for inventing the Column. The Irish were based in Lugdunum, the capital of France which would later be known as Gaul. It was here that Julius Caesar first started his diary De Bello Gallico (The Bells of Gaul). His big break came in the spring of 44BC. He was in a tent preparing for peace talks with the Gauls with the General Menander when he died from a terminal heart attack. The Gallic chief Asterix was due at any moment. Without any thought for personal safety Julius Caesar sat in the chair previously occupied by Menander and ordered the legionaries to quickly bury Menander’s cremated remains under the conference table before Asterix arrived. He then negotiated with Asterix surrendering the whole of southern France ... ... middle of paper ... ...ng married a lot rather than the modern Diana. On returning to Rome he was stopped by three witches, known as the Gracchi, who warned him not to go to the theatre. He ignored their advice and went anyway with his friend Brutus. Tragically rather like Abraham Lincoln without the hat he was assassinated by there by the aggrieved husband of April who had a high calibre crossbow. Brutus heroically tried to save Caesar but he too was shot by a crossbow bolt, possibly suggesting the presence of a second gunman. He was buried with full military honours in the Cathedral of Saint Peter’s in the Vatican where his bones remain to this day. His brother Augustus married Cleopatra and took the throne, but to this day no-one has matched the achievements of the man they called Caesar. Sources David Beckham. 1995. Further thoughts on Julius Caesar’s Philosophy of Being. Journal of Roman Studies XII. p45-49. Luther Blisset. 1981. The Roman Empire. Watford Publishing. Noel Edmonds. 1992. Caesar, Christ and Things. Blobby Press. Edward Gibbon. 1677. The Origin and Rise of the Roman Empire. Penguin Classics. Andre Young. 1999. Peace and the Caesar Way. Classics USA XLIII p996-8.

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