This is why they keep asking their parents to come back together. Their parents will often keep rejecting their request of coming back together, which also causes negative feelings to appear again during divorce. This is not only because their parents reject the child’s request, but also because children compare themselves with other children whose parents are not separated. Furthermore, some children tend to blame themselves for the divorce of their parents because it is emotionally easier for children to blame themselves than to put the blame on someone else. If the child blames himself or herself, he or she would think that they are the reason for the damage that happened in the relationship between their parents.
A lot of parents become very selfish when dealing with divorce and sometimes that can be a good and a bad thing. When you have children it can be a bad thing because parents should do what is best for the children. For example, if a parent is going through physical abuse from the other parent, then that is a major sign that the parent should leave. It will be hard for the child at first, but the parent knows it will be a better outcome. According to Davis (2011), divorce has helped women and children through obstacles like neglect.
When this divorce prevails and all the court dates are done, are the parents doing everything that they can to help their child cope, or are they making this harder on the children than it has to be? Many children disagree with their parents on the effects that the divorce had on them. A large portion of parents feel that if they are stern yet gentle about telling their children of their decision that it will not affect the children as much and that the children will be more accepting, however, the children think no matter how the situation is presented, the effects are the same. Some of the troubles that the children may encounter will be left unspoken, for the children feel that they won't be heard or for fear of punishment for showing how they truly feel. This may lead to secrets from parents, rebellion, and emotional distress.
There are many issues and concerns that divorced parents must think about when children are involved. Divorce affects children in many ways such as emotionally, physically, academically, and socially. Although there may be some advantages to divorce, for example divorce is good if the child is being hurt or abused, by one of the parents. The reality is that divorce is bad for many children because it can make the children depressed, and because they have to choose which parent to stay with. Parents should stay in marriage instead of divorce for the sake of the children.
Even though in some cases divorce does not affect children negatively, many times when parents obtain a divorce, the children are negatively harmed in many different ways that will forever change their lives. Research has proven there is a link between childhood depression and parents who are divorced. When children’s parents decide to get a divorce, it increases the risk of the children going through a deep depression period. There are several different reasons that have been linked to why children become depressed after their parents get a divorce. Parents and children usually become very distant after a divorce because they are both trying to overcome a hard time in their lives, so they keep to themselves instead of talking to each other.
Instead of protection from the situation, children need support and reassurance during this hard time. Parents feel like it is their job to protect their children from the same kinds of anguish and stress that they feel during the divorce. But ignoring this only leads to more unwanted stress. Parents should help their children better understand what changes will be taking place in the future, such as new places to live, new ways of communicating with their parents, and new schedules of daily life. There are many factors that affect a child's reaction to divorce.
Although parents have their differences and splitting up is the best choice they should still be aware of how it will effect the children/child. Children are the most vulnerable in situations like divorce cases. Children have little affect in their parents' decision to break up. In conclusion, in marriages people must learn to avoid conflict and appreciate whom they have decided to spend the rest of their life with. A divorce causes too much stress and heartache on a child that's why it should be forbidden unless reasons to separate are of the laws of the Bible.
Financial issues or sharing duties can also be major reason for divorce. Each and every reasons of divorce affect the children’s life differently. In spite of all these reasons, majority of parents don’t care, what will be the affects of divorce on children’s life. How these innocent children handle and adapt to the new environment. Divorce can have both positive and negative affect on children’s life.
Children usually think that they have to know everything that is going on in the family, things like divorce bring them down or make them upset. “Living away from one parent can be tough at first when families are used to seeing each other all the time” (IB,4). Parents need to understand that the kids will be affected by the decision that they make, like choosing to divorce. Some children seem to believe that the decision is their fault, they may feel guilty, which is very common to feel. The kids need to understand that even though the parents are separating, it does not mean that they do not love the kids anymore.
Both stress and anxiety are usually caused by bickering, calling the other parent a name, and not staying involved in their lives. Also, according to helpguide.org, a child 's “list of wants” include both parents staying involved in their child 's lives. Writing letters, asking questions, and talking on a daily basis are necessary items children need from their parents. When parents become uninvolved in their children’s lives, that 's when their child suspects that they are no longer loved. Keeping words or phrases about the other parent kind and nice are also factors of a “healthy divorce”.