The Effects of Divorce on the Children
I decided to write on the effects of divorce on children because it touches home with not only me but for many children in the world today. Divorce can have a positive effect or it can have a negative effect on your children.In most case when the parents decide that there is no reconciliation but to separate they do not take into consideration the effect that it may have on the children. There is a sense of uncertainty and fear for the unknown circumstances and the children fear the outcome. They tend to blame themselves for the separation and the arguments of their parents. They also, develop resentment towards one of the parents and in some cases they resent them both because they do not know who to blame. The children are hurt and confused, they feel torn between both parents and they are overwhelmed with the thoughts of who will care for them.
Having divorced parents can have a positive effect if the parents agree to make the children their top priority even though they are separating. The children must be reassured that they are loved by both parents and that nothing is going to change as for as their activities except for the fact that they will have two homes instead of one. The trauma for children who face divorce is magnified because they do not know how to handle the unexpected. If there is more than one child involved, both children need to be approached differently and at separate times because they may respond to the divorce differently. It is very important to keep the children connected to both sides of the family, immediate and distant relatives so that they don’t feel like they have lost their entire family.
“Child Psychologists agree that keeping the strength of exte...
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...e. However, divorce does not have to result with a negative effect on your children; it could have a positive effect if you pay attention and make sure that the love from both parents, family and friends remains the same.
Citations: Internet
Article base.com “According to the US census bureau, fatherless homes account for 90% of homeless and runaway children, 85% of children with behavior problems, and 85% of youths in prison, 71% of high school dropouts, and 63% of youth suicides and over 50% of teen mothers.”
“Researchers have found that in most cases, children will adjust within three years.”
“Child Psychologists agree that keeping the strength of extended family intact will provide a good structure for the children. Having support from family and friends that were connected to both parents also provide comfort when face with difficult situations.”
Divorce is becoming a worldwide phenomenon, significantly affecting children’s well-being. It radically changes their future causing detrimental effects. According to (Julio Cáceres-Delpiano and Eugenio Giolito, 2008) nearly 50% of marriages end with divorce. 90% of children who lived in the USA in the 1960s stayed with their own biological parents, whereas today it makes up only 40% (Hetherington, E. Mavis, and Margaret Stanley-Hagan, 1999). Such an unfavorable problem has been increasing, because in 1969, the legislation of California State changed the divorce laws, where spouses could leave without providing causes (Child Study Center, 2001). This resolution was accepted by the other states and later, the number of divorced people has been steadily growing. Such a typical situation is common for most countries in the world, which negatively affects children’s individuality. However, remarkably little amount of people can conceive the impact of marital separation caused to offspring. (? passive) Many children after separation of parents are exposed to a number of changes in the future. They have to be getting used to a further living area, feelings and circumstances. Their response to divorce can vary and depends on age, gender and personal characteristics. This essay will show the effects of divorce on children under various aspects such as educational, psychological and social impact. In addition, it will contain data about the divorce rate in the US and present disparate reactions of children. It will also include adequate recommendations for parents as to how act to children after divorce, in order to minimize the adverse effect on children.
Divorce is a heavy concept that has many implications for those involved. The situation becomes even more consequential when children are considered. As divorce has become more commonplace in society, millions of children are affected by the separation of the nuclear family. How far-reaching are these effects? And is there a time when divorce is beneficial to the lives of the children? This paper will examine some of the major research and several different perspectives regarding the outcomes of divorce for the children involved, and whether it can actually be in the best interest of the kids.
Most people, when thinking about divorce, worry about the impact that it has on the children that are involved. Even though children are most likely better off if totally incompatible parents separate instead of staying together, divorce is about loss and change, and it is still hard for children. Everyone knows that divorce has its effects on children. There are three different sources that try to explain these effects. Graham Blaine Jr. states that divorce is a threat to all children, whereas Rhona Mahony states that divorce is not always the cause of behavioral or academic problems in children coming from divorced families. Yvette Walczak and Sheila Burns state that the extent of the damage can be determined by the parents and their methods of explanation to the children.
Divorce is a process that many people in America go through. The divorce rate continues to escalate over the years. Divorce is a serious problem, it is a gradual process that ultimately results in families breaking up. There are various factors in which a marriage can fail and end up in divorce. Some skip the step of trying to reconcile things and make it work. In some cases it is easy for a divorce to take place. For instance, in cases where both parties are in agreement and have no children it is easier to handle a divorce. But in the cases where children are present, what happens to the kids? Both parents are at each others throats or one is devastated from the rejection, what role does the child play? It is a hard thing to cope with as an adult imagine as a little one or even a teenager, it affects them in more ways than anyone can imagine. It can affect them both physically and emotionally. The effects of divorce are immense, it permanently weakens the bond or relationship between a child and his parents. Can lead to them reaching out or looking to others for attention, causing poor attitudes, low self esteem, dropping grades, loss of virginity, use of drugs and or weapons, or in some cases mutilation of the body. There are various effects that children have to deal with that maybe extremely hard to cope with. One parent may say one thing yet the other disagrees and makes it impossible for the child to have a stable relationship with both of them. Children need both biological parents at their side to be guardians and counselors in their lives, to be examples of what they need to do to become outstanding citizens in our community.
When a couple with a child chooses to get a divorce this can have major impact on a child at any age. There are many causes of stress throughout the divorce process that can negatively affect children. First, negative reactions and behaviors are dependent upon the situation before the divorce. Some studies show that how much parents fight, how it is done, how it is resolved, and what precautions are taken to protect the children from it's effects are the most important predictors of child adjustment (Kelly, 2000). Meaning that if children are exposed to fights about custody, money, or the failing marriage they could feel the repercussions of their parents conflict. Next, divorce can cause children to have heightened fear...
The argument over how divorce affects children is one that has been going on for a very long time. Some people believe when parents get a divorce the children are not affected at all, while others believe when parents get a divorce the children are affected by the impact of divorce more than anyone in the family. In some cases, married couples can be in such a terrible marriage that divorce can in no way be avoided, and these divorces are usually the ones that children benefit from and are affected in a positive way. Many times though, a couple will choose to get a divorce because their marriage is not exactly the way it used to be, and they want that aspect of life back; these are the divorces that negatively affect children. Even though in some cases divorce does not affect children negatively, many times when parents obtain a divorce, the children are negatively harmed in many different ways that will forever change their lives.
It is unfortunate that marriages sometimes end and there are children caught in the middle of the marriage but it may be worst for the parents to stay together simply for the children’s sake. However when parents do divorce the children are the most effected by the divorce. Often enough the divorce causes children to feel displaced and also to have feelings that their world is coming to an end. These children tend to grow into adults with either extreme emotional detachment and self-esteem issues or they will have strong family values and try to prevent the cycle from repeating itself but the majority of these children grow up suffering from the divorce.
In a divorce, the parents usually do not get along and may have different opinions on items. They may go to court and fight against each other about what factors caused the separation leading to the divorce and how the properties are divided. This possible exposure is very unhealthy for a child. The child sees his parents fighting and may learn from the behavior and display it. He or she may see that behavior as being an acceptable action. The fighting behavior of parents causes behavioral problems within a child. The child may hear things from one parent about the other that causes the child to take sides when he or she should be learning not to be biased and to love both parents equally.
A lot of children tend to develop “normally” with two married parents. Others don’t develop the same. To me, children who go through divorce don’t develop normally. My parents are no longer together and I thought I turned out okay. I have social skills, friends, and a close relationship with both my parents. On the other hand, I believe some children or teenagers have a difficult time developing when going through the process of a divorce. It could lead to trust issues, make the kids feel alone, change the perspective on marriage, and affect the way they communicate.
"Parents frequently tell me they believe that to explain too much about the end of their marriage to their children it will unduly upset or confuse the children," (Berger 28). After divorcing, parents must learn to answer every question a child may ask honestly and without hesitation. If not, the child will undoubtedly loose faith and trust in their parents. Creating lies will often damage a child who is already going through so many emotions. Often, it may be vary difficult to explain to a young child that his or her mother and father will not be together anymore. Fear and anxiety may fill a parent when pondering the fact that their children may have several negative emotions when discovering their parents do not love each other after several years of marriage. Many emotions may possibly arise if parents are not up front with their children. These emotions may include anxiety, depression, and even antisocial behavior. Although it will be extremely hard for parents to answer all of their child's questions honestly, in the long run honesty will always be the best policy. ...
Even though divorce is not commonly thought of as a good thing, it sometimes can have a positive outcome such as the children and parents being happy, and allowing the children to mature. Parents being separated can be better for the kids because they won’t have to deal with the parents fighting. If the kids are put in a better and stable environment it can affect them in positive ways. Sometimes divorce is better for the child if they have been in the environm...
Marriage is no longer taken seriously; commitment and monogamy are no longer an essential ingredient. For most couples today, it’s not even considered a part of marriage. The negative effects that divorce has on children should be the number one consideration when a couple hits that hard time in their relationship. Children are psychologically and socially affected by divorce and may need counseling either at the time of their parent’s divorce or in the future. They may react instantly by getting lower grades or becoming depressed or anxious.
Divorce isn’t always as bad as people portray it. Commonly realized, divorce isn’t a great thing to happen to a family. But being in a bad relationship can have more negative effects on a child than divorce. In a study conducted of 98 couples, that later divorced, 80% of their children felt that their parents split was a good decision. Of the 20% that felt it wasn’t a good decision, most came from more abusive families. Being together in a bad relationship can actually cause more harm than good. Parents commonly think that by staying together for the kid’s sake will it eliminate negative effects and help their kids thrive. Nevertheless they see their parents unhappiness creating a more tense environment. Provided that the parents are abusive or are more vocal about their opinions then it can actually create a traumatic environment around the child, making them feel unsafe or timid constantly. What the minority of people know is that divorce can actually give kids positive vibes. Divorce can teach kids to focus on the positives and keep moving forward in life. In a Harper Collins book it says (We’re still family: What grown Children have to say about their parents divorce) that “ kids more commonly emerge wiser in spite of- or perhaps because of- their complex histories.” Multiple studies have proven, kids who have experienced divorce emerge mo...
Over 60 percent of couples seeking a divorce have children still living at home. ( 6) What some parents don’t realize when they file for a divorce is the great impact that it will have on their kids. Divorce affects children in many ways. It affects kids emotionally and causes them to experience feelings such as fear, loss, anger and confusion. Divorce also hurts a child’s academic achievement. Children whose parents divorce generally have poorer scores on tests and a higher dropout rate. (3)
Family support is the underlying factor that can help facilitate children to feel some form of relief after going through the traumatic experience of the divorce. Many children report that after a divorce occurs they felt more relaxed, relieved, or even happy all at the same time (Halligan, Chang, & Knox, 2014). That is not the only effect children feel after the divorce is finalized. Research done by Halligan et al., (2014), also found many other positive effects that divorce had children. Effects such as escaping from an abusive parent (if one existed), not experiencing arguing in the home anymore, a greater tolerance for more viewpoints, and one of the most important ones improved relationships with one or both