The Art of Carrying Out Successful Drive-Bys

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The Art of Carrying Out Successful Drive-Bys My mother has always said that any intelligent lady should be patient for her Prince Charming to come along one fine day. I do not necessarily agree. I mean, why wait? Any intelligent lady should manipulate everything in her sight until she is able to track down Prince Charming. There is no use in denying, each and every one of us carries the stalker gene, dominance varying. Stalkers can be either female or male, although studies have shown that male stalkers are more often than not called rapists. One of the missions most often carried out by stalkers is a drive by (DB). DBs usually take place on Friday and/or Saturday nights and it is when the stalker drives by the stalkee’s place of residence to see if the stalkee is home. DBs are purposely carried out with hopes that if the stalkee is home, the stalker perceives that the Stalkee is also having a horrible weekend, much like the stalker – therefore immediately improving the stalker’s temperament. To carry out a successful DB, the stalker has to convince him/her self that s/he is not really a stalker. There are usually two parts of the first phase, also called the convincing phase. This first step of convincing should take place in a quiet room, preferably with the stalker sitting down in a comfortable chair and convincing him/herself. The second step of convincing should be the stalker convincing his/her best friend to join in on the DB. If the stalker does not have any friends, s/he should proceed to the next step. If the stalker somehow does have a friend, the convincing thoughts should be something along the lines of, there is no harm in conducting a DB, DBs are normally harmless, it is not that often the stalkee is hospitalized after DBs are carried out, etc. Considering that the stalker is, well, a stalker, s/he should already know the way to the stalkee’s house by heart, regardless of whether not s/he was invited there by the stalkee before. It is at this point in time when the stalker decides whether or not to change his/her attire to throw off the stalkee if s/he is to see the stalker. If the stalker decides go ahead with it, he/she puts on any type of clothing that the stalkee has never seen him/her in. Do not underestimate the power of a baseball cap.

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