The Abandoned Father: The Characteristics Of An Ended Father

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Talking out of turn in class, throwing things at other students, and awkwardly flirting with every girl: these are the characteristics of the most obnoxious boy in class, the boy the teacher punishes on a daily basis. These are the problem kids that every parent complains about at conferences, but they don’t understand. He hasn’t seen his dad since he left three years ago, he hasn’t had a hug from mom in who knows how long because she works all hours of the day just to keep the lights on. He simply just doesn’t know any other way to act than how he is. Nowadays many parents are divorced, many kids have step-parents, and many kids may only have one parent. A single mom with kids and an absent dad, sounds like the normal in today’s America. (This…show more content…
Abandoned sons often have intense feelings related to their absent fathers, typically in one of two variations. The first is emotional reactivity, characterized by the statement, “I’ll never be like him.” The emotion the son experiences is directly caused by his father’s absence. The son’s reaction leads him to reject the importance of his father…Until the son acknowledges his unfulfilled needs and longing for his father, he can remain in turmoil about himself and his intimate relationships.…show more content…
They in no way deserve this or did anything to cause their situation. “It is they (the innocent victims of deadbeats- the children) who carry the biological heritage of the offending parent and who suffer the effects of poverty, abandonment, and a discontinuity with their personal history.” (Hatcher) The effects of sons growing up without a father are extremely evident. If you know they have a single mom you can almost automatically pick out at least one of the traits that have been mentioned. These boys suffer from any one of these: anxiety, abandonment issues, anger, self-esteem, self-seclusion, poverty, and stress. A son growing up without a father or father figure can cause different issues for the child throughout their life. As children they may act out in class and show signs of anger. As they grow older and more understanding of the situation the boy might develop anger issues and show signs of the abandonment in their relationships. In adulthood the son may struggle to marry because of fear of being like their father or being abandoned by someone who is supposed to love forever yet again. “Father absence is pathological and severely affects the abandoned son’s capacity for self-esteem and intimacy.”

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