Teenage Point of View on Homelessness

1087 Words3 Pages

Imagine this. You’re in your car, chiilin’ with a few friends, when you pull up to a street corner. Out of the corner of your eye, you see some movement. When you turn your head to look, you find a bum staring right back at you. You can tell by the gruff beard, and the brand new Nikes that he is very much in need of money. Often, he will be carrying a hand-made cardboard sign to increase his image of desperation. The sign will often read, Homeless Vet. Need Money. Will have sex for food. If you give him money, he will more than likely blow it on drugs, beer, or the stock market. If you try t act like you don’t see him, you will live in constant fear for the next week or so, fearing the bum followed you home to do naughty things to members of your family, all because you didn’t give him your change. The best approach to dealing with bum you see on the corner, is to drive really close to them, then open your car door. This often results in the bum not coming back the next day, and is a fun game to play with kids of all ages. If we know this much about homelessness, why was it the number one growing profession in America when the Institute of Randomness did a poll last year? How much money does a bum normally make on a fairly busy day? And, what can we do to get rid of this nuisance? All these question and more, will be answered today.
The Institute of Randomness conducted a poll in 2003, to find out which profession, out of all of the professions in the world, was had the widest popularity. Naturally, being a pretzel maker won. The institute then conducted a study on what the fastest growing profession was. Surprisingly, being homeless was on top. Why is it so great to be a bum? Lets take a look into a day of their lives.
10 a.m. You wake up from a nice comfortable sleep under “the bridge”. You smoke a carton of cigarettes to get your juices running, then pull the dirty cardboard sign you had been using as a bed sheet off of the ground.
12 p.m. You stand on the corner of 7th and Franklin, awaiting the aid from people more fortunate than you.

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