Suspense Narrative: My Father's Basketball Team

Suspense Narrative Rough Draft The day had finally come. It was the national championship. I heard that over 2,000 people were going to be in attendance, depending on us to bring that first place trophy back to Atlanta for the second year in a row. But, it wasn’t the trophy I was chasing. The only thing that mattered to me was to win for my dad. It was Father’s Day. Despite the discouragement of my parents, my dad was the largest figure in my life, and the last thing on my mind was letting him down.

My name? Jeremiah Davis. I had curly black hair and brown eyes that all the girls digged. I was only 5’9, and I was pretty skinny, weighing only 130 pounds. I attended Northview Intermediate, and I was in the eighth grade. Our team had traveled all the way to Los Angeles, California. Back in Atlanta, we called this place the “west side.” We were set to play at Pauley pavilion, home of the UCLA basketball team. Everybody, even our coach, called us the underdogs in this game, even though our team was pretty solid. We had me running point, my best friend Dante on the wing, and a transfer at center, standing well over six feet. Dante was light-skinned and had brown curls that had light blonde streaks on the tips. He was 6’2, and weighed 150 pounds. Not listening to the haters, our team had supreme confidence in winning and was locked in. But the game didn’t go as planned.

Our opponents were supposedly the #1 ranked team in the nation, but we knew that was a little bias. However, they had an elite squad. They were called “Cali’s Finest,” and their entire starting lineup was ranked in the top 25 players in America. One of those players was Jordan King, a 6’0 all-around superstar. I heard he was held back twice, and he was really supposed to be in the tenth grade. I knew I would be guarding him, and me being a legit eighth grader, I knew it was going to be