Summary Of Sex Lies And Conversation By Deborah Tannen
739 Words3 Pages
Battle of the Sexes
In “Sex, Lies, and Conversation,” Dr. Deborah Tannen discussed good points on why opposite sexes have trouble talking and communicating. While writing the story she dug deeper than the surface of the problems, and why they happen the way they do. I relate to the points she discusses because I have been through similar situations with my own relationships. From reading this story I am able to understand the problems in these situations, and how to improve communication between sexes. The three types of communication Deborah Tannen discussed in “Sex, Lies, and Conversation” are linguistic battle of the sexes, listening to body language, and the sounds of silence.
First, Deborah Tannen argued that in the linguistic battle of the sexes, women look for emotional expression whereas men look for experiences for bonding. She proves this by stating, “Intimacy is the fabric of relationships, and talk is the thread from which it is woven,” and describes men’s conversations as in that “They don’t assume talk is the cement that bonds a relationship.” Women want closeness through emotional expression such as gossiping. Men look to share their experiences with each other to show they know what is going on. Having been around groups of girls, I have noticed how they become closer through agreeance on emotions like not liking another girl or the clothes they wear. However, guys will talk about things they have done and shared experiences that bring them close such as their football team becoming close through wins and losses together. These different communication styles create problems between men and women that can be overcome through understanding how each sex bonds.
Next, Tannen explained listening to body language; how...
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...private. She does this because she does not like the attention from others or people judging whatever she says, but feels comfortable discussing with me. Whereas I notice my friends and I openly discuss topics our thoughts in public. Understanding this difference between sexes can help one to communicate better realizing that women are going to talk in private and men will typically show off in public.
As I have discussed communication styles are different between women and men as Dr. Deborah Tannen explains the differences as the linguistic battle of the sexes, listening to body language, and the sounds of silence. Once each sex figures out how the other communicates, communication will come easier and more productive. The issues listed throughout “Sex, Lies, and Conversation” can be used to teach the differences of commination and how to fix the problems with it.