Competition is very popular in America, in education, jobs, and even families; but what about dating? Dating is one of the most competitive “games” all around the world. Dr. Tomas Cvreck spoke about competition and how it affects everything we know. Something as simple as who makes the first move can determine the outcome of the whole relationship as well as the future. Homogamy is everything in a relationship; how old the person is, the education level, the religion, and the yearly income. This is an example of why dating out of a person’s league is a risky thing in most cases. People that have a lot in common tend to find their way to someone compatible to themselves. This is why Dr. Cvreck stressed that dating out of one’s league is a risky move; because it can become more competitive. Although everyone is not competitive, everyone wants to have a happy marriage, but competitiveness is part of human nature and varies between men and women.
The feeling of competitiveness is natural, but the intensity of the characteristics depends on how the parents raised their child. If the parents are competitive their children will most likely inherit that trait; as it is a learned characteristic. Regardless, everyone is in competition with each other because they are all part of the same dating game and who will end up with whom? Men are naturally more competitive than women and tend to go for the more appealing women. On the other hand, women do look at appearance; but unlike men, they are more focused on the attributes of the person. Men tend to show their spouse or girlfriend off to make other guys jealous of what they ‘scored,’ when women want to brag about the nice things her spouse or boyfriend said or did for her. They are in the same competition, but it is viewed differently.
In this game of dating, competition truly relies on the gender of the person. A popular question is, “Is there a first move advantage?” The answer to that is yes. If women make the first move they are more likely to get their first choice of a guy rather than having to be asked out settle as a man might have to do. Men have the advantage because in our culture men are to make the first move no matter what, but their advantage decreases as the competition raises as all the guys are going after the same ‘hot’ girl.
Belongingness is an emotion that everyone longs to feel throughout the course of their lives. Starting in adolescence, we as humans are naturally attracted to others in a romantic way. Girls in junior high start wearing make-up and dressing nice in order to impress the boys and get their attention. During this time, both girls and boys want a boyfriend or girlfriend, and are interested in this idea of “dating.” As boys and girls progress into high school, dating becomes even more of the thing to do. As a young teenager, I wanted to date, but my parents were against it. Many parents have a negative outlook about dating because of the consequences it may lead to, mainly sexual activity. Some believe that dating has changed drastically for the worse, but Beth Bailey believes differently. In Bailey’s article entitled “From Front Porch to Backseat: A History of the Date,” she analyzes the history of dating and how numerous people have not conceptualized this idea correctly. By showing authority, evidence, and values, Bailey presents an effective argument about the history of dating.
In Brooks’ essay, his thesis states that “[t]he online dating world is superficially cynical . . . But love is what this is all about. And the heart, even in this commercial age, finds a way”(222)—implying that, although not perfect, online romance can work. He evidences his statement by illustrating how online dating “slows things down” (221), “puts structure back into courtship” (221), and “is at
Dating back to the early 1900’s and all the way through to the present, romantic relationships have been viewed differently. From strict unwritten dating regulations to not having regulations at all, recent generations have become more liberated in making their own decisions. The progressing times have made us become a more accepting society and have caused a decrease in the strong practice of religion and class. Even though differences such as religion and class in relationships were more than an issue they were not always a complete deterrence.
Cloud, Dr. Henry & Townsend, Dr. John. Boundaries in Dating: How Healthy Choices Grow Healthy Relationships. Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan, 2000. ISNB 978-0-310-20034-5
In closing, while Ferrer has presented a well thought-out article that has achieved its goal, at least in my case, of opening the reader’s mind to other relationship styles, he does overlook a few areas. Our society is always changing and along with that the way we form relationships. Divorce and inter-racial marriage has become fairly common-place and acceptable, while same-sex marriages are slowly working toward that goal. This shows that people prefer to do what they feel is best for them, and makes them happy, rather then what societal pressures makes them feel they should do. By doing what makes us happy, and what we feel is right, we slowly change societal opinion. You can not please everyone, so you may as well please those that are important to you, as long as you do not harm to others.
... effort is also considered because there is still evidence that in certain species the parental investment theory is not fulfilled. Therefore, males that invest more in mating effort develop increased male mate preference. Finally the last key factor is the difference in adaptive problems that each sex has had to overcome. For males, they evolved strategies to ensure their genes effectively get passed on to the next generation as well as behaviours to enhance paternal certainty while females had to develop strategies that select for the males with the most resources. This is evident today through what males and females find attractive in potential mates. While males look for youthfulness and ability to reproduce females look for wealth and strength. However, both sexes also show similarities and find partners that are symmetrical more attractive. It is important to
The structure of this essay is based on animals and humans mate choice strategies and gender differences and similarities. These factors are intertwined with males and females reproduction success for choosing the right mate and bearing the parental cost involved in the offspring upbringing. (Trivers, 1972, 1985).Animal males from the evolutionary perspectives seek fertile, strong, females as a security for their offspring reproduction. These males’ strategize for their mate choice by advertising their masculinity as men ready for a mate. (Buss & Barnes, 1986; Buss, 1987).The female animals chooses mate base on their sense of security so they prefer males capable to protect and bear the cost of parenting with them.(Trivers,1972).In humans, females prefer wealthy men with high status as mate (Bjorklund & shackleford, 1999; Buss, 1992) whereas males prefer to date young attractive females who considers as fertile with the ability for genes reproduction.
All things considered, competition can be either benevolent or unacceptable. Being competitive in most activities or events is not always appropriate, and in some cases, competition could bring up negative feelings if not everybody was treated the same or
This standard model is known as the seual strategies theory ( Buss & Schmitt, 1993). Buss argues that any species in which differences exist, there will be corresponding sex differences in mating behaviors. The biological reality in humans is that males need minimal investment, a single ejaculation, to reproduce their genes. The cost of female reproduction is traditionally years of investment including gestation, lactation and offspring care. In theory, such one sided investment has resulted in sex-specific selection strategies for reproductive success (Beckes et al. 2009). Human males ‘naturally’ track down opportunities to copulate with as many female partners as possible, specifically those who display signs of fertility. By ‘nature’ human females are more sexually cautious and prefer one male partner who can provide resources to be shared with their offspring. Though emphasis is on sex differences, sexual strategies theorists state that mating behavior--under specific circumstances--can be similar between men and women. The inevitable conclusion from their work is the differences between the sexes regarding mating preferences. The main focus of the sexual strategies theory is that all human mating is inherently strategic. Mating behavior is guided by psychological mechanisms that compel both males and females to desire certain qualities in a mate based
Gone are the days of courting, now dating is a game where you compete with others for the affection one person. This version or romantic pursuit looks more like a harem then anything else. Supposedly there shows lead to true love, and yet there are multiple seasons. By taking the true meaning of love out of the picture society has doomed itself. Instead of looking for “the one” we end up searching for the “best” one. There will always be someone who does some task better than the other person. True love isn’t about perfection, it’s about finding the “right” one. The one that makes you a better person, not the one that gets you the most attention or the best
At some point in our lives where we are searching for that special someone. The methods of going about dating have changed quite dramatically over the years. Going out has grown from traditional dating, to internet 'dating', to group dating.
Simply defined, courtship is a reformed version of dating under the supervision of parents between a man and a woman who are ready to marry in the near future. In consumer terms, contemporary dating is the equivalent to window-shopping and courtship is shopping w/ cash in hand under the direction of experienced buyers. The te...
Based on a research of Online Dating & Relationships, Smith and Duggan stated that the ways of finding partners have been changed with the times. In the past, people used matchmaking, arranged marriages and printed personal ads. With the rapid technology advancement, there are alternative methods - online dating sites and smart phone dating apps. To compare with the people who date traditionally, people who date online are active to choose their dream man or woman by browsing the others profiles (9).
In the twenty-first century, we use the internet for almost everything that we do. We use search engines such as Bing or Google to find information. Websites like Netflix and Hulu allow us to watch shows and movies without an expensive cable or satellite subscription. Social networks provide a new way to communicate with friends and family. Entire companies are run through the internet. With gas prices rising every day, it has also become increasingly popular to see a lot of jobs turn to telecommuting. It’s only natural that as other aspects of our lives conform to the internet, that online dating should also begin to be more prevalent in how we form new romantic relationships. Online dating is the new normal, and this is more evident now than ever.
1. Houser, M., Horan, S., & Furler, L. (2008, October 1). Dating in the fast lane: How