The Second Battle of Shiloh
The switch to college life can definitely change people. In high school, one makes
friends that will hopefully last a lifetime. Then comes senior year, and after all the college
admissions letters have been received, one must face the realization that his/her best
friends will not be by their side 24 hours a day / 7 days a week any longer. Still ecstatic by
what this new life, college, holds for them, students enter into their chosen institute of
higher learning. Do you remember that first break, or long weekend, that brings everyone
back to the place where they grew up? Its a chance to look back and catch up on old
times, even though you’ve only been separated for a month or two. Whether coming
home from UGA, Tech, or even some out-of-state college, that drive home gives one time
to reflect. Will my friends who I graduated with be the same friends who I know and
love? Like I said, college alters people, and the first time you see old friends, you might
realize that your best friends are not who they once were. Although painful, this is a
process that is natural. Friends change, and friends move on with their lives, regardless of
your presence. On a larger scale, this is the dilemma brought to the readers attention by
Bobbie Ann Mason, author of “Shiloh”.
In Mason’s “Shiloh”, Leroy and Norma Jean Moffitt are a married couple living in
Paducah, Kentucky. Leroy has spent the past 15 years driving a tractor-trailer across the
country. Four months ago, Leroy was involved in a highway accident that required steel
pins to be placed in his hip. He returned home to rest and rehabilitate his leg. He is
confined to his house, something that he hasn’t seen for an extended period since he’s
been on the road. Like a college student, this is Leroy’s long weekend. Leroy comes
home to his wife, Norma Jean, hoping that she will be the same person he left many years
before. Unfortunately for Leroy, Norma Jean has moved on with her life, much like
friends who move on after high school graduation. Leroy would like for things to be the
way they were, but Norma Jean has chosen a different course in her life that doesn’t
involve Leroy. She works at the Rexall Drug Store, loves to play music, and is taking
classes in composition at Paducah Community College. Bobbie A...
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...se. Leroy knows that something has to be done to save his
marriage. Mabel, Leroy’s mother-in-law, suggests they take a trip to Shiloh, a Civil War
battleground. This is ready-made symbolism. A battling couple takes a trip to a famous
battleground. Looking for a place to picnic, they sit down next to a cemetery for Union
Soldiers, which symbolizes the death of their life together as husband and wife. She tells
Leroy that she is leaving him and when she walks toward the bluff overlooking the
Tennessee River, Leroy tries to follow. His good leg, however is asleep, and his bad leg
still hurts him. This symbolizes that he will never catch her. She has her own life and he is
stuck in the same place.
In conclusion, I have personally experienced the loss of a friend after we both
embarked on different paths. Although we were the best of friends in high school, when
the time came on that long weekend to hang out, we didn’t even pick up the phone to see
what the other was doing. Although its natural to move in different directions, it still hurts
to no longer have that friend in your life any longer, just like it hurts Leroy not to have
Norma Jean
The friendship is still there, however, because of the maturity and growth these relationships are
... chapter in Norma Jean and Leroy's life now that they will be apart. There is nothing left in their marriage that can keep them together because according to Norma Jean it was over a long time ago.
...yle that is placed before her. She was rushed into a marriage just as fast as she decided she wanted out of it. With the pressure of expecting a child, and then coping with the absence of her husband for fifteen years, Norma Jean tried to make things work, working around Leroy. Finally, after awhile it seemed as though she was pushed to the limit, and she decided to do something for herself. Norma Jean probably did not have it in mind to grow apart from Leroy, but she had to find herself before she could completely love someone else. After she realized what she wanted, she understood that she could not find that in Leroy. Unfortunately for Leroy, he had found what he had been missing for all of those years, but it was too late for him to grasp it; the change had already taken place. Leroy pleads with Norma Jean to try to work things out and to start over again, but for Norma Jean, she had already begun to start over when he had left her alone for fifteen years. Looking back on the relationship, blame could never wholly be placed on one character. Over the years Norma Jean and Leroy had begun to go their separate ways by doing what was important to them; together they grew apart.
The character Norma Jean fits all the psychological characteristics of behavior change in mothers who are coping with life after losing their child to sudden infant death syndrome. The most common symptoms are anxiety and depression (Boyle 933 par.1). She is always trying to stay busy. First she decided to build her own body up. She goes to the gym or does exercises around the house whenever she is home. Second she decided to take night classes at her local community college. She comes home and writes essays of stories she has read. She never seems to be in a relaxed state of being. These are signs of anxiety. The definition of anxiety is uneasiness. She can’t decide what she wants to do with herself. There are many reasons for her depression. She is trying to cope with the death of her child, her empty marriage to Leroy and her less than supportive mother.
When that happens we slowly start to drift apart, a former friend is now nothing more than a memory. What is it that makes us stop communicating with each other? In my case it was a lifestyle change. My friend Kalicia and I were so close. We told each other everything. When I found out I was pregnant she was the first person I wanted to tell. At first she was beyond excited. I stayed with her and her family for the first half of my pregnancy. Then I moved to American Falls and everything stated to change. I was eight months pregnant when it all happened. Kalicia had invited me up to her house for my birthday celebration, but being that far along and having to work in the morning all I wanted to do was sleep. The next day, while I was at work she continued to call me multiple times, I knew something was wrong at that point. When I called her back she told me that her mom had passed out and stopped breathing. They had to do CPR on her until the ambulance arrived. I remember my heart dropping because she was like a second mom and I was so excited for her to meet my daughter. As I scrambled trying to get my shift covered so I could leave, I got the call that she had passed away. I remember that day like it was yesterday, the sky was dark, everything seemed grey, and heaven had gained another angel. I had never met such a vibrant and enthusiastic woman. She was understanding of every situation. Soon I felt
College offers a new setting in which young adults can try different activities and identities and form new interests and friendships (Oswald & Clark, 2003). Almost all college students in Oswald and Clark’s (2003) research reported finding a new ‘closest’ friend during the first month of college. Many high school students are leaving home for the first time and their friends are going in opposite directions from them. This causes a strain on these friendships they experience many changes during the first year of college. By the end of the first year, about half of high school friendships drop down to either close or casual friendships. However, maintaining a friendship might be helpful for buffering isolation and promoting adjustments to college. Strong social interaction and positive friendships aid in the adjustment to university life.
The struggle to battle with the persistent grief of self-blame and lack of identity is a constant reminder to the barriers in relationships. Leroy grieves over the fact that he has lost his identity as a father and husband. Although he often thinks of Randy, the memories of him have faded. As a result, he latches on to Norma Jean but she doesn’t respond back. This causes him to feel like a failure of a husband. Norma Jean is grieving over the emptiness in her life. It was not the life she thought she would have. Her deceased son symbolizes her emptiness because of his death. She also feels emptiness towards her husband. For example, she feels very uncomfortable around him and always tries to find something for him to do. When Leroy arrives back home from his accident Mason implies, “he thinks she’s seems a little disappointed” (Mason 220), displaying Norma Jean frustrated with his lying around doing nothing but watching television and smoking pot. In addition, Norma Jean feels emptiness towards her mother, which is presented in the way her mother criticizes her. When tragedies occur in a family and self-confidence fades it can take over your life a...
In May of my freshman year, four of my closest friends announced to me that they were moving to new schools—three of whom would be going all the way out of state. At the time, I questioned why bad things happened to good people. After all, this was my “circle”. These were the people I thought I would make memories with, learn and grow with, and graduate with. I thought surely this was the worst thing that could happen, but in the years to follow, I came to realize that it was actually the best.
Have you ever had a friend who you really trusted and then suddenly something is different about them? This seems to be an average problem for most teenagers. After all, if people are going to change, they most likely change in high school. But what do you do when your friend starts acting strangely? How are you going to respond when they tell you that you have been replaced? Martin Luther King Jr. said “In the end, we will not remember the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends”. This means that after all we go through; our friends are still a huge impact in our lives. One of the biggest problems that an average teenager goes through is when their ‘best friend’ starts thinking that they’re too good for their friend or that they have more important people in their life; but you can deal with this in three different way; (1) ignore our friends actions and what there are doing, (2) confront them and ask them about it, or (3) just to start avoiding their ‘best friend’.
In the beginning, once I found that one friend I thought would always be there and never turn his back on me, had been my best friend since head start, but then took me for granted and did not even acknowledge my existence anymore. That one friend I trusted with everything in me, the one I told my problems to and got advice to fix them, had jolted my right in the back. He just disappeared and left me with nothing but memories of us being together. Those things that happened made me turn my back even though I viewed him as a true friend, even more, a brother. I could not even believe in the least bit that he would do this to me, but as time went on, I changed and kept asking myself if it is for the best to forget about it. Although I did not know why he did such a thing that would lead up to us not communicati...
It became apparent to me, that some of my childhood friends from my middle school and elementary years may have left my school zone, and now goes to a different school, or they left for a different city or state and from there lived newfound lives. To my amazement, on occasion, my friends still talk to me through social media. I never expected them to even remember me in the first place; this made me feel pleased and important inside.
to for years. Former friends give a sense of oldness to a person. In the long
Those who value both their family and friendship relationships enjoy greater health and higher happiness. While no one should solely rely on friendships, these do have an impact on a person's well-being. This gives a better understanding and allows a person to thrive both physically and mentally. Just as with family relationships, having good friends can enhance the ability to cope with stress and learn how to grow as a person. College is a time for change. For most people it is a time when they find their way and become more independent. They will seek out new things, make mistakes, and learn how to manage time and energy. When life becomes stressful it will cause the need to rely on friends that are going through the same thing. When meeting back up with old friends, they may seem more mature or completely different. The way college changes friendships will be different for everyone. No two friendships are alike, so separation of going to college will affect everyone differently. Some friends will stay close so there will not be many changes and they will probably still text every day. While others will drift apart and might not even talk at all. College students will make new friends, maybe a new roommate, people in their classes, or in the cafe. There are a lot of opportunities to meet new people. Even with old friends in college, those friendships might change and meeting new people will cause one to grow
As I reach the seemingly boring age of 19, I am able to look back and reflect on how my choices in the past have gotten me to where I am today. One of the most significant decisions I have made in my life was to minimize my friend group. Now, losing friends is something you hear about before you even hit junior high. The common phrase is repeated over and over again, when referring to high school, “You find out who your real friends are.” As a scrawny little freshman, with no sense of reality, I refused to believe that that phrase would ever apply to my life. The end of my sophomore year is when my then, sixteen-year-old self, realized that that overused phrase was more relevant to my life than I wanted it to be. So I did something about it.
Growing up in school you have your friends in 1st, then in Jr. High, and then when you get to high school you might not even know or see your friends from 1st grade anymore. For the few people who’s had a friend from 1st grade till college I think that someone they need to hold on to because if they stuck with you through all them year I know they’re there for the right reason and there not just there for a season. As Elizabeth Dunphy says, “It’s the little things that matter, that add up in the end, with the priceless thrilling magic found only in a friend.”