Do men and women effectively communicate in the same way, or is it just a conversation of misunderstanding? There is constantly a new interest in whether men and women converse successfully. Professor and journalist, Deborah Tannen writes, “Sex, Lies, and Conversation: Why Is It So Hard for Men and Women to Talk to Each Other?” Tannen compares and contrasts all conversational styles, and explains how the expectation of dialogue affects how men and women converse. Tannen focuses on the subject of marriage and the imbalance of interest between male and female couples. The contrasting perspective however comes from, Deborah Cameron, author of, “What Language Barrier”. Cameron conveys that the stereotypes left upon male and female communication …show more content…
Tannen believes that men and women are cross cultural when it comes to conversation. While analyzing basic conversation, Tannen primarily focuses on married couples and marriage, in general. Whether implied or not, Tannen fails to deliver enough credible scientific research to inform the audience of her opinions and viewpoints. Tannen begins her argument explaining a personal experience with a married couple which she invited to a group meeting that she held. Tannen uses this dependable experience to confirm that American men talk more than women in public, and usually talk less at home. Tannen uses the word “crystallizes”, to display the accuracy of her research through this personal discovery. Tannen states, “This episode crystallizes the irony that although American men tend to talk more than women in public situations, they often talk less at home” (239). Tannen presents research as if a female is the only gender to, “crave communication” in a relationship, giving no background information to support this theory. Deborah Tannen gives numerous personal accounts of issues married couples seem to have, but hardly giving actual scientific
Deborah Tannen, professor of linguistics at Georgetown University, argues that miscommunication between men and female results in different expectations for each gender. The two types of misalignments, according to Tannen, are topical and physical. She reports that topical behavior for men is based on doing activities together in large, hierarchical groups and frequently switching from topic to topic when they are talking, whereas women tend to have intimate conversations in smaller groups by sharing secrets and focusing on one topic. Tannen says that the physical behavior of men is to face away and focus on objects around them and periodically glance at the person that is talking to them whereas women make eye contact. She explains that
Deborah Tannen has achieved scholarly and public praise for her conclusions about how women and men differ in conversational styles. You Just Don’t Understand[6] clarifies stylistic differences in how the two sexes communicate with each other.
In an attempt to analyze conversational differences between genders in her book, That’s Not What I Meant!, Deborah Tannen discusses many claims that may not hold true in all cases in current society. While I found that Tannen’s section on gendered socialization differences among children to be partly accurate, her claims about differing interests in conversation and acknowledgment of details in conversation between men and women are not necessarily true.
In “Sex, Lies, and Conversation,” Dr. Deborah Tannen discussed good points on why opposite sexes have trouble talking and communicating. While writing the story she dug deeper than the surface of the problems, and why they happen the way they do. I relate to the points she discusses because I have been through similar situations with my own relationships. From reading this story I am able to understand the problems in these situations, and how to improve communication between sexes. The three types of communication Deborah Tannen discussed in “Sex, Lies, and Conversation” are linguistic battle of the sexes, listening to body language, and the sounds of silence.
If man and the woman both had the same communication ways they would be more successful in marriage. Many of the communication issues are brought up in the article “Sex, Lies, and Conversation by Deborah Tannen.” Tannen states that men and women argue with one another over communication which leads to marital problems and divorce. Men and women have different viewpoints on communication. Women see bad communication as the one of the major reasons for divorce. Also the way men and women communicate are very different. Men are very different than women they do not like to communicate as much like women. Men don’t talk about their problems and women love to talk about them. Communication is seen as one major cause leading to a relationship failure. When couples get married the women is always looking for a good comuincator.
Women communicate to establish or maintain relationships. They talk longer than men and spend more time on one subject to fully understand where each person is coming from. This is evident in the use of nonverbal cues to further build a connection, like touching one’s arm or engaging their audience by nodding. Women also use more emotional language than men, apparent in the compassionate, warm, and concerned word choice that women use. Clearly there are great differences in gender communication. One could argue it is the greatest difference between men and
Tannen, Deborah. (1990). You Just Don’t Understand: Women and Men Conversation. New York: Ballantine Books.
Tannen, Deborah. You Just Don't Understand : Women And Men In Conversation / Deborah Tannen. n.p.: New York : Morrow, c1990., 1990. Valdosta State University GIL Catalog. Web. 3 Mar. 2014.
Deborah Tannen’s case study entitled “Can’t We Talk?” is the most relevant reading that I have ever done for any class. It relates to a problem that every person regardless of age, race or sex, will have to face many times in his or her lifetime. The problem is that men and women communicate differently and these differences can often lead to conflict. This case study is very informative because it helps to clarify the thought process of each sex. That said this reading leaves the reader somewhat unfulfilled because Tannen does not offer a solution to the problem.
A lot of attention has been dedicated to the thought that women and men communicate very differently from one another. In this paper I am going to discuss the gender differences in communications between the opposite sexes. Many believe that gender plays a major role in communication but in all reality, that isn’t the case. Several factors play a part in how someone communicates with another person regardless of their sex. The main question is what role does gender play in communication or is it the roles our cultures put on genders’. In my opinion, it is the way we were raised that affects the way we communicate.
Men and women are more different than one can imagine. Though the main difference is in physical appearance, another difference is their sense of communication. Women appear to talk more than males, but like to keep their conversations more private. Males, on the other hand, will talk less, but do not mind their conversations being more public. This is just one of many examples of men and women being completely opposite of one another in terms of communication. Each gender has their own expectations of the opposite. These expectations are not usually met due to communication differences, which leads to criticisms such as, “Men do not listen” or “Women will never understand” to form. The most common assumption for why expectations are not met
Author, Professor Deborah Tannen uses different examples from studies based on the article American Psychologist by Eleanor Macoby which she proves many problems genders face when communicating. Men have a hard time staying on one subject for too long they tend to switch conversations like flashcards due to wanting to get to the point while women tend to like talking about details. Women commonly hold men to a standard when they request being listened to but take in matter how their being listened to as if they are or not. Every man has his own way of coping when listening some look around the room, make beats with their fingers and close their eyes women would see this as not listening. The case is not that men aren't listening but that women like havin...
We all know that men and women are different. They look different, act different, walk, talk, and even smell different. In part, the simple fact that we are different explains why we sometimes have trouble communicating with and understanding the opposite sex. However, a close look at our language may show that there is more to the communication barrier between the sexes than meets the eye.
Tannen, D. (2007). You Just Don’t Understand: Women and Men in Conversation. New York, NY: Harper.
Men and women communicate completely differently almost speaking two languages.Men and women have two different conversational cultures. Men speak in order to set the tone and expect support and attention from their partner while women talk to please others...