Sex, Lies And Conversation, By Deborah Tannen

1034 Words5 Pages
Deborah Tannen is the author of “Sex, Lies and Conversation: Why is it So Hard for Men and Women to Talk to Each Other”. Tannen is a linguist who researches the relationships between men and women. She has not only conducted research, but has information published in several books and essays about this topic. Her research includes talking with several of groups and collecting data on the behalf of their response. In her essay, “Sex, Lies and Conversation,”Tannen argues that complications arise in marriages and relationships because individuals are not able to communicate with members of the opposite sex. According to Tannen, differences in childhood can impact individual’s communication with each other in relationships. At a young age, children tend to play with other children who are the same gender as them. Both groups of genders have different ways of building a friendship. Tannen says that “Little girls create and maintain friendships by exchanging secrets” (276). It is important for girls to share secrets to get closer to one another and to have a mutual understanding unlike boys whose bonds are “based less on talking, more on doing things together” (276). Boys do not talk much unless they need to prove something. They are inclined to have larger social groups whereas girls have smaller and more inclusive groups. While girls are comfortable about talking about their feelings, boys feel uncomfortable because it is not something they discuss much. Moreover, the same can be said about children being around one gender most of their lives. These children will be more likely to play with one gender. Both genders demonstrate differences in relationship with friends and behaviors. An individual’s childhood is the source of where all... ... middle of paper ... ...aking. In conclusion, complications happen in marriages and relationships because individuals being incapable to communicate with each other properly, and because individuals are quick to judge one another. Communications generally occur in body languages: how the individuals interpret each other. Her essay is an event that is reoccurring more and more lately. The event results in a failure in marriage. In today’s society more and more people are splitting up or having divorces due to miscommunications. The essay, “Sex, Lies and Conversation,” that Deborah Tannen wrote is much use of today because it explains where miscommunications happen and she has her own studies and research to back it up. The essay goes into depth about her ideologies that cause miscommunications. Look at a miscommunication twice and do not be quick to judge because it will save plenty of time.
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