As a writer, I think that I am not as good as I thought I was back in high school. I see myself as a student who tries their best, but makes “B” average work. I have never really taken the time to relate to my papers. I always just wrote what the teacher wanted and handed it in. In my mind, I never really liked trying to explain in full detail what something meant.
Doing work, especially if it’s a course I don’t enjoy can make me feel stressed. I tend to put myself down whenever I think about the amount of work I have to do that seems unmanageable. Not having someone to motivate me such as my parents or girlfriend also plays an
Also, I have never been good at coming up with words that sound good together and I don’t like to write. I am also not confident with my writing I never think it’s good. Getting started... ... middle of paper ... ...hey can’t do the subject anymore. Especially when the child really feels like they are good at that subject or studies really hard for the test. Writing isn’t for everyone I know it’s not for me.
I became to feel anxious and nervous all the time and also it affects on my grade. According to this I must change the way I deal with my time by changing the methodology and follow other time management strategies. The reality that I never have manage my time and now I regret deeply that I don’t have any schedule to follow then I realize that managing time is necessary and very important. I find myself rushing at the last minute to complete my assignments and do my homework without being ready to do them physically and morally. I also find my self forgetting what I have to do , missing deadlines, putting some unrealistic goals, worrying about an exam if I don’t prepare for it.
After reading David’s story, I saw some similarities within myself. As a teenager, I often failed to complete things that I would start, often out of frustration. I never wanted to ask for extra help or an explanation given in a different manner. When I failed to understand something I would become frustrated and just not do it. I would often find myself, like David, dissatisfied with my work.
Ever since finally leaving elementary school, I was always afraid of the challenges ahead of me; at one point I even heard that grades actually mattered, not that I would not try in school. And so I went through the first year of middle school, and the next, in probably one of the most contemplative years of my life. Where I thought grades would be my largest fear, I began to think of being social; where I once thought the interactions I got in sports was adequate, I now looked at others and questioned my beliefs. ‘Others visit their friends most of the week, but I only see them at school… am I wrong?’ This simple question threw my thoughts into a frenzy the next few years. I began to think about it heavily, coming home, taking showers, sitting silently amongst my ‘friends’; was I really their friend?
Not all habits are beneficial, and I happen to suffer from one of the most hindering habits. Procrastination ruins a lot of my day-to-day life; often I lack motivation or drive to finish something, or I set it aside until the last second. It is a toxic trait that I find a lot of people develop early on in high school; I was one of the unlucky people to start procrastinating. I know all too well of the struggles that come with procrastination, whether that be not turning things on time and putting off tasks until the last minute, or being indecisive about what I want to do, being a procrastinator is an unfortunate trait. Figuring out how to start a project has always been a constant challenge for me.
I believe if I stay committed, I can gain control of my anxiety in a year and a half. I have learned that there are so many ways to deal with stress, and most importantly that I am not alone. There are a lot of people who are affected day to day with stress and different forms of anxiety. Before this class, I used to deal with my stress by eating unhealthy foods and crying all day because I felt there was no other way to face my problems. Now that I have learned what I can do to help ease the tension, I plan to continue to implement them into my daily life so I can continue to be a better me.
I have had so many doubts about what I want to do professionally and those doubts begin to really take a toll on me. However, this experience allowed me a chance to move my reservations to the back burner, if only for a few days, and focus on something positive for... ... middle of paper ... ...n the Trauma Stewardship text. Something simple like the technique of “five things I hear, five things I see, five things I feel” that you shared in class have already had a pretty profound impact on me. I am a very anxious person and that technique really helps ground me when I feel like I am getting overwhelmed. For me, it is learning that these things actually work for me that inspire me to continue to develop a plan of self-care.
I tiptoe around people so much that I created this bubble around me that others see but can 't penetrate. It makes me tired too. I used to be very straight forward before I moved to the States but then I kept offending people and it made me weary of ever being honest again. If someone is open to receive feedback and asks directly, then I can tell them carefully what I see but if they don 't, I tend to help without being asked but getting the same ugly results. My intention is to channel this differently.