Have you ever thought why you choose certain type of cloth, a hairstyle, or even behavior? Do you really believe that it is your own choice and preferences, just because it is looks good on you and it suits your life style? Two different researchers, Michael Kimmel and Deborah Tannen, are trying to demonstrate that in reality, one’s appearance and manners are influenced by family members and peers. While in his work “Bros before Hos: The Guy Code” Kimmel talks about how a man’s actions are shaped by certain stereotyped “man’s” behavior, Tannen, in her passage “You’re Wearing That: Understanding Mothers and Daughters in Conversation” argues that for her actions a woman has to always be prepared to be criticized by her own mother. This two articles—You’re Wearing That?: Understanding Mothers and Daughters in Conversation by Deborah Tanned and He and “Bros Before Hos”: They Guy Code by Michael Kimmel—helped me better understand how society and the environment around us influences our lives.
Both authors agree that parents and other family members have the greatest impact on our choice of appearance. Kimmel states that in order to be a “real” man, a guy has to follow certain rules in his wardrobe. He gives an example how one student changed his mind about what to wear: "But then I thought to myself, these
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Tannen points out that if a daughter’s life-style is different from her mother’s, it will be disapproved by this woman’s mother. As an example, she talks about her own experience, when her mother remarked that getting Ph.D. wouldn’t be necessary if Tannen stayed in her marriage. In this case, because the researcher chose a different path than her mother, instead of to be proud of her daughter’s achievements, Tannen’s mother belittle them. The author says: “Because a mother’s opinion matters so much, she has enormous power. Her smallest comment- or no comment at all, just a look- can fill
Dress codes can be deceiving as Laura Bates claims her view on school dress codes, “ While the principle of asking students to attend school smartly dressed sounds reasonable, the problem comes when wider sexist attitudes towards women and their bodies are projected on to young women by schools in their attempt to define what constitutes smartness”(Bates, 2015) Within this she is supporting school dress codes, but only to an extent. As soon as the dress code is later seen as sexualizing woman, and what they define as ‘intellectual looking’ she adds certain standards to her claim of supporting dress codes. Now laura bates seems to receive the short end, but other parents seem enlightened when it comes to school uniforms and dress codes. “With uniforms parents and students feel that students are seen for who they are and not by what they do or don’t wear”(McEntire, n.d.). Those who find dress codes beneficial, see the satisfactory within a school uniform, by how the true characteristics of students are seen through actions rather than appearance. Some teachers, and school faculty also see the positive side to school
In Kimmel’s essay “’Bros Before Hos’: The Guy Code” he argues that the influence of society on masculinity is equal to or greater than biological influences on masculinity. In the essay, Kimmel uses various surveys and interviews to validate his argument. He points to peers, coaches, and family members as the people most likely to influence the development of a man’s masculinity. When a man has his manliness questioned, he immediately makes the decision never to say or do whatever caused him to be called a wimp, or unmanly. Kimmel’s argument is somewhat effective because the readers get firsthand accounts from the interviewees but the author does not provide any statistics to support his argument.
In Zhou, Li’s article “The Sexism of School Dress Codes,” she explains how the dress codes are diminishing children's self-esteem and, is mostly sexist towards girls as well as the LGBT community. To reach a wide audience including students, parents, and high school administrators, she relies on a wide variety of sources from high school students to highly credited professors. Zhou creates a strong argument against strict dress codes and encourages audience to take a stand against out of date dress codes that schools implement, using the rhetorical tools ethos, pathos, and logos to advance her argument.
Aaron Devor’s essay “Becoming Members of Society: Learning the Social Meanings of Gender” describes how despite popular belief, gender and sex are not directly related and how social norms affect individual’s choice of gender. Devor‘s main argument is that gender is not determined by genitalia, but instead by the individual's own choices. Michael Kimmel’s essay “Masculinity as Homophobia” claims that gender equality is a positive thing for males and that social norms force men to act a certain way. Kimmel’s main argument is that men are always having to protect their masculinity in order to prevent themselves from appearing weak. Both authors present compelling arguments for both gender equality and for how social norms influence individuals’ gender choice. However, the two authors approach the same topic in different ways. Kimmel takes a more laid-back approach to the topic by using simple words and a conversational tone that relates to the casual gender sociologist. Devor writes a more sophisticated essay using complex terms and a more formal tone that relates to the serious sociologist that research gender studies.
In the mid 1960s more and more women started to look like men (maga 103). Although the trousers suit for women was launched, people suspected that some of the inspiration of the way women started dressing came from father down the ...
People say we are who we are but, in reality the friends, family, and the media shape us everyday of what is called our identity. Families have a huge impact of who and what we are of course. In both Julia Alvarez “Once Upon a Quinceanera” and Jayme Poisson “Parents keep Child’s Gender Secret” talks about in how which families influence who and what we are and how much power they have in shaping one’s identity even if we do not see it. It is evident that society have expectations that are placed among gender and/or women roles but families tend to have the power to avoid these issues. Due to the articles, families do shape women 's identity just as men and have much power in doing so, due to tradition, expectations, and the way how society keeps reminding them to act a certain way.
They were able to open their viewer’s eyes to a world where women no longer have to be hesitant when stepping out of the shadow of a man. Unfortunately, the Pantene advertisement was entirely exclusive seeing that it ineffectively contributes the male’s perspective. Consumers were given scenes that fed into the victimized role of women in society, yet were not given the authentic standing point of a man, solely associating the negative stereotypes that were formed against them. Throughout Nancy Dowd’s article, “Towards a New Theory of Feminist Jurisprudence”, she argues that “men pay a price for privilege” (Dowd 58). In other words, they are held to standards in society to constitute the label of a “masculine” man. In society, masculinity is defined as a social construction of the male, a construction that is not simply attained biologically. Accordingly, the socialization of manhood must only be achieved through making heavy sacrifices, possessing masculine attributes and creating emotional, self-sufficient barriers. Dowd illustrates the two important pieces of masculinity which were “not [becoming] like a women and not [being] gay,” therefore forcing all men to be similarly situated with each other (62). In her article, Dowd made it evident that “certainly, it is indefensible to ignore the disadvantages and
In this story, its summer vacation for Connie. She spends her days around the house, avoiding her mother, daydreaming about the boys she has met, and glancing into mirrors any chance she got. Her mother always scolded her about it, “Stop gawking at yourself. Who are you? You think you’re so pretty?” (pg. 312). But Connie knew that she was pretty. She had blue eyes and long dark blond hair. She wore part of it pulled up on her head and puffed out and the rest of it she let fall down her back. Connie believed her mother was always on her case about it because her mother was no longer pretty. When Connie wasn’t home she spent several nights a week at the shopping plaza in town. Her friend’s father drops off her and her friend so they can walk through the stores or even go see a movie. The girls would wear shorts when they went out. I think this is a good representation of how times were changing and what was now socially acceptable for girls to wear. Just a few
Clothing and personality are of importance because they go hand in hand by keeping an individual satisfied on an everyday basis. Everyone has their own attitude and sense of style, but regardless of the type of personality and clothing, they can affect the individual and those around them. Due to the denotation that society tends to tag along with divergent styles, affects an individual in the way that it can either construct a day memorable for affirmative or pessimistic reasons. Nicole Cooley emphasizes this idea in her article, “The Language of Clothes”, by relaying the experience of a little girl who found herself to be unattractive; consequently, composing dreadful days. There came a moment, though where this girl decided to wear her grandmother’s aged clothing, and through this she was able to see herself through her grandmother's eyes, now viewing someone beautiful and worthy of living (Cooley). Cooley expresses the fact that the clothing of one can affect their personality, explaining why so many people experience lousy days. A prime example being the little
Eva’s lack of value for motherhood shaped the lives of her family as well as her own. Because of her negative feelings toward motherhood, many of the people surrounding her have similar values. Eva reflects her community’s negative perception of motherhood by being straightforward about it and passing it down through her family
The social learning theory of gender development understands that parents, media and culture act as socialising agents – as they explicitly teach children the significance of gender appropriate behaviour. Parents contribute towards gender development as they positively reinforce (reward) children when a gender-appropriate act is carried out therefore increasing the likelihood of that specific behaviour being repeated again (Lewis, 1975). Stereotyped gender behaviour is outwardly expressed in media and this creates a guide for appropriate behaviours, children learn and observe these through vicarious reinforcement (Gunter, 1986). Culture also influence gender mannerisms and also portray gender stereotypes, for example, western societies acquire a stereotypical concept which believes that men are aggressive and competitive whereas women and expressive and cooperative. Therefore, it can be argued that gender identity is not inherent but in fact it is manipulated by social and cultural environments, (Argosy University,
The persuasive attempts in both literary works produce different results. The effectiveness of the mother’s guidance to her daughter is questioned since the girl cannot recognize the essence of her mother’s lesson. Despite that, the mother’s beneficial instruction serves as a standard for the daughter to reflect her future behaviors in order to live up to the community’s expectations. On the other hand, Anne’s value of candid expression and lasting relationship dissuades her from obliging to her family’s meaningless duty to place her love and interest above to experience fulfillment in life.
While doing research, I stumbled across a story about a Baby X who was raised in a world where gender norms did not apply to this child. No one knew the gender of Baby X. Growing up the child wore gender neutral clothing, played with both dolls and trucks, and participated in both ‘feminine’ activities such as baking, and ‘masculine’ activities such as relay races. However, parents of Baby X’s friends thought that Baby X was a ‘misfit’ and a ‘bad example’ and people from the community demanded to know the child’s gender and force him or her to behave like whichever it was (Gould, 1995). Why did so many people have a problem with Baby X resisting the typical gender norms? Why must a child be identified as either a boy or a girl and act in accordance to their sex? Gender norms are extremely inherent in society and many conform to these social rules. Although there are endless possibilities to study when it comes to gender norms, this paper is going to focus on the construction of masculinity and how it is problematic in the way that many people in society view it and reinforce it.
Aaron H. Devor talks about how society places the idea of masculinity and femininity in the minds of men and women, making them everything but genetically tailored. Moreover, Devor states that no man or woman is born to fulfill a certain role, but cultural influences lead to such actions. He believes that society presents gender as “binary or permanent”, meaning that there is no room to identify with anything outside of one’s gender group. Just like race, things are taken from external attributes, as young children we assume that based on outer appearance a male would look one way and a female another way. Women who cut their hair short were considered manly and unwilling to follow ‘normal’ behavior; men who wore their hair long were considered sissies and too feminine to call themselves men. These interactions and opinions are formed from a very young age; according to Devor children acquire gender roles and begin making statements that show a separation between a boy and a girl by the wee age of 5. Gender roles are widely applied all over the world; many people are unable to grow out of old ways due to what they were taught, and then they continue to teach to their kids those same things. Some families are very unaware when they say something like, “you can be whatever you want, but you just can’t…” It happens and it is becoming an ironic phenomenon as time goes
Masculinity and femininity are two terms, which have been interpreted differently throughout history. Both the males and the females have responsibilities and duties but these duties differ based on one’s gender. Gender has played a prodigious role in the economy, politics, and the society. Everyone starts making interpretations of the strengths and weaknesses based on one’s gender. These interpretations are not always based on his or her ability but is usually based on his or her gender. Males tend to be judged as extremely strong and unfashionable in terms of appearance. Whereas, females are judged as expensive and very fashionable. Males and females both differ in their abilities and their enjoyments. Fashion, entertainment, and strength are three topics, which are used to define masculinity and femininity in the 21st century.