Romantic Love Shreats

Solomon defines romantic love to be distinguished by three features; it is sexual in origin and motivation, no matter how otherwise inhibited, chaste or sublimated; it is spontaneous and voluntary, a matter of will and not just circumstances; it is an emotion appropriate only between equals (Solomon, pg.43). However, finding romantic love can be proven to be difficult. There are various threats that exist in our search for love. These threats are patriarchy, American popular culture, and monogamous marriage. Though each is more dangerous than the last, the biggest threat is patriarchy in the sense that it is the foundation for the latter that follow. Popular culture helped promote and spread the idealization of patriarchal love, and this is

In the book “ The Birth of Pleasure”(2002), Carol Gilligan argues that the demands of patriarchy, on both males and females make love impossible. “Patriarchy is an order of domination, privileging some men over others and subordinating women. But in the dividing men from men and men from women, in splitting fathers from mothers and daughters and sons, patriarchy also creates a rift in the psyche, dividing everyone from parts of themselves”(pg.7, Gilligan). By mentally separating and diving people, Gilligan believes we live our everyday lives trying to uphold social roles established by a patriarchal foundation, and that only when we act subversively, transgressing against the denial of self and thus leaving the shelter of social roles will it be possible for real romantic love to blossom in relationships. Gilligan argues that the beginning of this patriarchal indoctrination begins at childhood with the idealized imaged of both mothers and fathers. In only revealing only certain parts of themselves, parents affect how a boy and girl deal with situations. Boys are taught to be masculine where it often complies willingness on their part by standing alone and foregoing relationships, whereas to girls are taught to be feminine, which connotes a girl’s willingness to compromise her for the sake of the relationship. (page 30, Gilligan). Additionally, patriarchal indoctrination is not a recent phenomenon but has been embedded through out the history of many if not all nations. This phenomenon can be seen intertwined with popular culture and with marriage. Popular culture is a tool for patriarchy that can be seen through the spread of religion, and its practice. In order for any