Relationships: Now and Then
Do we still live in the seventeenth century? It’s very interesting to look back at the differences and similarities in men’s and women’s relationships since then. My husband, Sean, and I were brought up very differently; he was only raised by his mother who provided everything for him food, shelter, and love whereas I had the more traditional family in being raised by both parents. My father was the provider, a construction worker who worked long hours five to six days a week, and my mother, a homemaker, tended the home doing the cooking, cleaning, and also caring for us children. Now that I’m older and have my own husband and children, I find myself using the traditional traits that I’ve seen and learned from my parents. Tending to my husband’s and children’s every need not only seems to be a normal feeling, but it’s a natural instinct for me. According to Edward S. Morgan in The Puritan Family: Religion and Domestic Relations in Seventeenth-Century New England, “In each relationship God had ordained that one party be superior, the other inferior….Wives were instructed that woman was made ultimately for God but immediately for man….” In living in the twenty first century, relationships seem to be better now than they were in the seventeenth century. Men and women today are marrying for love and happiness, and also building their lives together as a team whereas the Puritans married because it was a law of God where the husband was in charge of his wife and being happy didn’t exist.
Marriage in seventeenth century New England meant that duties were forced upon both husband and wife. It was the husband’s duty to support his wife and family, and the wife’s duty to care for her husband and tend to his home. Morgan states, “When [a woman] became wife, she gave up everything to her husband and devoted herself exclusively to managing his household.… her duty was to ‘keep at home, educating her children, keeping and improving what is got by the industry of the man.’” Personally, I couldn’t see myself passing anything to my husband and after we got married I didn’t. While the little I did own continues to be mine, whatever we own now became ours whereas being a Puritan wife meant owning nothing and being owned.
Ida B. Wells could not have been more ordinary. She was born an urban slave during the Civil War. Her parents, both of mixed blood, were able to send her to Rust University where she would develop a stubborn personality that would
Ida B. Wells-Barnett is an investigative journalist who wrote in honesty and bluntness about the tragedies and continued struggles of the Negro man. She was still very much involved with the issue even after being granted freedom and the right to vote. Statistics have shown that death and disparity continued to befall the Negro people in the South where the white man was “educated so long in that school of practice” (Pg. 677 Par. 2). Yet in all the countless murders of Negroes by the white man only three had been convicted. The white man of the South, although opposed to the freedom of Negroes would eventually have to face the fact of the changing times. However, they took every opportunity and excuse to justify their continued horrors. There were three main excuses that the white man of the South came up w...
For as long as we can remember, the idea that marriage is sacred, desirable, and even necessary has persisted in the western world. In a way, society has taught us that in order to live a normal, fulfilled life, one must find their soul mate, marry them, and spend the rest of eternity together. According to tradition, a perfect marriage is characterized by a husband that goes to work every day while the wife remains within the home cooking, cleaning, and taking care of the children. Tradition has further dictated that once the husband returns from work, the wife has dinner ready and the family sits down around the table to share a meal together. American literature is full of stories that both play on or challenge these traditional roles within a marriage. But, one might ask, does
Cunningham, M. (2012). Integrating Spirituality in Clinical Social Work Practice: Walking the Labyrinth (1 ed.). Upper Saddle River: Pearson Education Inc.
In the book Good Wives: Image and Reality in the Lives of Women in Northern New England 1650-1750, Laurel Thatcher Ulrich attempts to highlight the role of women that was typical during this particular time period. During this point in history in hierarchal New England, as stated both in Ulrich’s book and “Give Me Liberty! An American History” by Eric Foner, ordinary women were referred to as “goodwives” (Foner 70). “A married woman in early New England was simultaneously a housewife, a deputy husband, a consort, a mother, a mistress, a neighbor, and a Christian” and possibly even a heroine (Ulrich 9). While it is known that women were an integral part of economic and family life in the colonies during this time, Ulrich notes that it is unlikely
“What’s yours is mine and what’s mine is mine” (Women’s Rights). This quote may sound ridiculous. However, this quote gave a clear reflection of women’s lives before the 1900’s; women were not considered “people”. Once a woman got married, she lost all their rights! This continued until Ontario passed The Married Women’s Property Act in 1884. The movements for the right of married women grew in momentum as other provinces began passing the Act too. Before the Act was passed when women married, all of her possessions turned over to the husband. The husband could spend all of his wife’s money and leave her, although immoral, he would not be found guilty. Wealthy families tried to put a stop to the chance of their daughter’s wealth being taken advantage of by creating prenuptial contracts. These contracts were signed before the couple got married; it outlined...
Native American medicine may be as old as 40,000 years. This culture did not develop written language, so there was no documentation of Native American medicine until the Europeans arrived approximately 500 years later. Native American medicine believes that man is part of nature and health is a matter of balance. Ceremonial and ritual medicine is the largest surviving piece of Native American medicine. Native American medicine is based on a belief system of both healing and a cure. Balance is the key to health which is linked to lifestyle and social connections. For healing to take place, the individual must seek out the medicine man as he holds the healing power. The medicine man will then decide what technique he will use to heal the individual based on the situation. He may ch...
Mark McMinn published a revised edition of Psychology, Theology, and Spirituality in Christian Counseling in 2011, to serve as an exploration of the integration of psychology and theology. The book explores the necessity and importance of integrating Christian theology into the life of the client. McMinn (2011) states that integrating Christianity into all aspects of a client’s life will help the client move closer to God, strengthen relationships, develop a stronger sense of self, understand their personal limitations, and realize
Religion and spirituality is a major essential part of one’s’ health. They have included things such as prayer in healing, counseling, and the use of meditation. Spiritual issues make a difference in an individual’s experience of illness and health. With spirituality, the health care providers can learn to support the values for the art of healing. The health care provider must have respect for their patient’s religion. (Larry Dossey. Healing Words: The Power of Prayer and the Practice of Medicine. Harper Collins, San Francisco. 1993.)
A man was considered the head of the house. He brought home the money, supported the family, and took care of anything of business matter. Women were to take care of housework, the children, and their duties as a wife. The man thought that if he could not provide sufficient money a loan still must not be taken out because it would cause debt. Torvald expresses his belief in this by saying, “There can be no freedom or beauty about a home life that depends on borrowing and debt” (I. 1759). Also, loans were not to be taken out without the man’s permission.
Marriage was once for the sole purpose of procreation and financially intensives. Living up to the roles that society had placed on married couples, more so women, is no longer the goal in marriage. Being emotional satisfied, having a fulfilled sex life and earning money is more important in marriage (Cherlin, 2013). Couples no longer feel the obligation to put the needs of their partner in front of their own needs. In the 1960’s and later it was the woman’s job to ensure that the house was clean, the children were bathed and dinner was prepared before the husband came home work. However, once more and more women began to enter the workplace and gain more independence, a desire for self-development and shared roles in the household lead way the individualistic marriage that is present in today’s society (Cherlin,
Worthington, E. L. Jr., Hook, J. N., Davis, D. E., & McDaniel, M. A. (2011). Religion and spirituality. In J. C. Norcross (Ed.), Psychotherapy relationships that work (2nd ed.). New York: Oxford University Press
Spirituality is seen as a universal concept relevant to all individuals; the uniqueness of each individual is paramount (Mcsherry, 2000). Therefore, the subject is complex and relatively complicated topic to discuss. This is due to the different interpretation which is influenced by the individual’s life experience. Therefore definitions of spirituality may differentiate significantly to all individuals and literature (Mcsherry, 2000).
In “The Yellow Wallpaper” by Charlotte Perkins Gilman, the narrator and her husband John can be seen as strong representations of the effects society’s stereotypical gender roles as the dominant male and submissive female have within a marriage. Because John’s wife takes on the role as the submissive female, John essentially controlled all aspects of his wife’s life, resulting in the failure of the couple to properly communicate and understand each other. The story is intended to revolve around late 19th century America, however it still occurs today. Most marriages still follow the traditional gender stereotypes, potentially resulting in a majority of couples to uphold an unhealthy relationship or file for divorce. By comparing the “The yellow wallpaper” with the article “Eroticizing Inequality in the United States: The Consequences and Determinants of Traditional Gender Role Adherence in Intimate Relationships”, the similarities between the 19th century and 21st century marriage injustice can further be examined. If more couples were able to separate the power between the male and female, America would have less unhappy marriages and divorces.
Throughout most of my life I have gained friendships and relationships with others that have turned into long term, but others which only lasted a short while. The friendship that has greatly impacted my life significantly over the last eight years is someone who means so much to me. This meaningful friendship all started back when I was in middle school, which has grown stronger over the years. I met Brooke in middle school because we had some of the same classes and were in homeroom together. Our friendship developed quickly and lasted throughout our high school years. We became really close our Junior and Senior year of high school. But, maintaining our friendship hasn’t always been so easy. Today, we text and call each other on our free time, but I know I can count and rely on her when I need someone to talk too. I call her my second sister and vice versa. And when we go home on breaks we see one another as much as we can. The best part of our relationship is that if one is in need of advice or in need of a shoulder to cry on, we are always there for one another. Keeping in contact is very important in our relationship and communication has played a key role in our relationship.